The Equestrian Center - Horse Vacations The Equestrian Center - Feed, Nurtrition, Health, Equine Supplements Agriculture Farms - http://www.online96.com/horses/feed.html
The Equestrian Center - Horse Vacations The Equestrian Center - Feed, Nurtrition,
Development to Produce a Strong, Athletic Horse
Kathy Anderson,Extension Horse Specialist at the University of Nebraska
look for when selecting hay for your horse.
Feeding the overweight horse.
Why accurately weighing your horse is so important.
Are mood swings related to what your horse eats? Yes and no.
Equine Horse Healthcare and Nutrition Products
Feeding the Older or Anorexic Horse"
Carrousel Farm goes into the reasons your horse may be off his feed and some innovative
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
DPI Notes- Working Animals- Strangles in the horse. Nieper, formerly Animal Health Bureau. Information contained in this publication is provided as general advice only. The Department of Primary Industries Queensland has taken all reasonable steps to ensure the information in this publication is accurate at the time of publication. Readers should ensure that they make appropriate inquiries to determine whether new information is available on the particular subject matter. Now, with the aid of antibiotics and improved vaccines, the disease can be treated successfully and controlled easily. It is caused by a bacterium, Streptococcus equi, and spreads primarily by droplet inhalation, although contamination of food and water with the discharges from an infected horse is also a factor. Unvaccinated horses coming into contact with these animals at shows, sales and racetracks are obviously at risk. The glands( lymph nodes) at the back of the throat and under the jaw become painful and swollen, and abscesses often develop. Treatment with penicillin early in the course of the disease is highly effective. As treatment retards development of abscesses, many cases of strangles are difficult to differentiate from virus` colds, which also cause a nasal discharge. Abscesses are treated with warm compresses until they mature, when they can be surgically drained. Strangles vaccine is dispensed in a disposable syringe containing a single dose for intramuscular injection. A localised, transient swelling may develop at the site of injection, however the modern low volume vaccine has negligible side effects compared with the vaccine used previously. Strangles vaccines are readily available from veterinarians and chemists on prescription. Equine viral rhinopneumonitis( virus colds), a common cause of respiratory disease in the horse, produces symptoms very similar to strangles and can be confused with strangles. With the current increase in the popularity of leisure horses in Australia, strangles may become a major problem again unless vaccination is practised more widely. [ dpi home][ site help][ dpi search][ dpi site map][ news][ enquiries][ products& services][ legal notices].
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Veterinary Corner. from the Vet Corner Archives. Part of Horse Previews Magazine website. Veterinary Corner 11/ 98: Straight Talk About Strangles. Caused by the organism Streptococcus equi, it is a very contagious disease that can easily take over a farm if proper precautions are not taken. With proper management techniques, however, an outbreak of strangles can be reasonably controlled, minimizing the effects of the disease on any other horses. equi is spread directly by contact with infected horses or carriers. It can also be spread indirectly through fomites that have been contaminated by respiratory tract secretions or saliva. Clinical signs include high fever, depression, anorexia, profuse mucopurulent nasal discharge, and swelling and abscessation of the submandibular and retropharyngeal lymph nodes and lymph nodes of the head and face. The first step in proper management is to isolate this suspected case of strangles immediately. The only way to get a definitive diagnosis of strangles is via culture, so you must have the veterinarian examine the horse and get a sample to send to the lab. You should make the horse as comfortable as possible by providing proper housing and good quality feed. If the lymph nodes are swollen they may develop an abscess which usually break and drain. 15% of horses with strangles will develop complications including internal abscessation of the lymph nodes of the chest, an allergic reaction to the cell wall of the bacteria resulting in purpura hemorrhagica, respiratory distress, and death. Just as a water bucket or halter can serve as a transmitter of the disease, so can a person who has been contaminated by any respiratory secretions or saliva. Usually, outbreaks are initiated by introduction of asymptomatic horses still shedding the organism after infection, horses that are still incubating the disease, or carrier horses. These horses are not showing any clinical signs of the disease, thus, they could be mingling with other horses and transmitting the disease even though they are recovered from the disease or have not yet developed clinical signs. The incubation period for strangles is 3-14 days so keeping new horses isolated for this amount of time to ensure they are healthy reduces the chance of spreading the disease. As the carrier horses drink at the stock tank and greet their susceptible neighbor nose to nose the disease is transmitted. In the susceptible horse the disease will become clinically evident in 3-14 days. A vaccination against strangles is available and has been proven to be relatively effective. It may not fully protect against the disease, but it lessens the incidence and severity of the disease. ( intranasal), has eliminated many of the negative side affects associated with the older intramuscular injection. For horses that have not been vaccinated against the disease previously, we recommend 2 vaccinations given 3 weeks apart and then a twice yearly booster. We especially recommend this vaccination for horses that travel away from their farm frequently and will be in contact with other strange horses( show horses, trail horses, etc. As always, contact your veterinarian if you have any questions or concerns regarding strangles.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Two recent outbreaks of a bacterial disease known as" strangles" has concerned countries relying on our horse export industry. While the disease is widespread, countries such as Hong Kong are trying to minimise the possibility of infected horses entering their country. The disease has a low mortality rate and responds favourably to early treatment with antibiotics, but" strangles" is highly infectious and threatens large horse establishments. Rod Hoare, NSW Equine Veterinary Officer, is currently proposing" strangles" be named as a notifiable disease in an attempt to increase awareness. Currently diseases such as Equine Infectious Anaemia, Equine Viral Arteritis and Equine Herpes virus Abortion are classified as notifiable diseases. Apart from protecting the Australian horse industry, the system of notification gives Veterinarians and State authorities a valuable reference system. When horses are examined for export, Veterinarians must give certification stating the horse has not been in the vicinity of any disease outbreak. This is virtually impossible to verify without a register of when and where diseases have occurred. Rod Hoare believes Australian horse owners need to be more vigilant of serious diseases. " The industry is currently a bit ambivalent about strangles," Mr Hoare told ASM. The best way to avoid the disease is through proper hygiene, and to a lesser extent, through vaccination. This is followed by abscesses mainly in the mouth and throat, a dangerous stage because a burst internal abscess usually means death. Treatment is most effective when administered either before or during the forming of the abscess, but a long course of antibiotics is extremely effective against the bacteria.
The Equestrian Center - Horse Vacations The Equestrian Center - Feed, Nurtrition, Health, Equine Supplements Agriculture Farms - http://www.online96.com/horses/feed.html
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
The Equestrian Center- Horse Vacations The Equestrian Center- Feed, Nurtrition, Health, Equine Supplements Agriculture Farms. FEED& NUTRITION. Kentucky Equine Research, Inc. Combining Research, Consultation and Product Development to Produce a Strong, Athletic Horse. Kathy Anderson, Extension Horse Specialist at the University of Nebraska. By feeding probiotics, you can help maintain probiotic health in the gut. Kopp's article includes a checklist for making wintertime feeding less of a chore. Equine Horse Healthcare and Nutrition Products. This page gives a very interesting overview of equine nutrition and the bio-holistic approach to nutrition, followed by specific information on the different formulas available for both horses and-- amazingly-- camels!. Connie Micheletti of Carrousel Farm goes into the reasons your horse may be off his feed and some innovative ways to encourage him to eat normally again. Doug Gordon, Equine Specialist for the High Plains Division of Purina Mills Inc. Ever wondered what all those ingredients in that supplement you give your horse actually do? This excellent page from Farnam gives you a list of popular vitamins and minerals, how they work and their effect on the body., M.S, discussesthe importance of hay in the horse's diet and gives valuable information for selecting the best for your horse. " Understanding Energy is a Key Part of Feeding Horses Correctly". Donald Stotts, of Oklahoma State University discusses how energy is supplied by various nutrients and how to manage them in the horse's diet to avoid colic and founder. Information about Pemphigus folliaceus, a strange sounding disease that causes open sores to develop on the skin. Terry Gerros DVM gives details about Equine Infectious Anemia. " Equine Recurrent Uveitis- Information for the Horseowner". Learn all about the different uses of Nuclear Scintigraphy in diagnosing lameness in horses. Especially important during the hot summer months, how to recognize overheating and how to help your horse recover. Detailed descriptions of the symptoms and treatment of gastric ulcers- from AAEP Online Client Education. Informative article about the occurance and treatment of melanomas in horses. I was very interested to read all about nuclear bone scanning, as this is one of the tests Annapolis underwent during his bout of EPM. " Parasite and Worm Treatment- Anthelmintics in Horses". Includes the different types of de-wormers and suggested schedules for their use, from the Horseman's Advisor. Complete information about this extremely infectious disease, including symptoms, treatment and control, from CSL, the Australian Vaccine Specialist. Imformative page on thiss potentially deadly disease, including the symptoms and treatment, from CSL, the Australiam Vaccine Specialist. Detailed descriptions of the symptoms and treatment of colic- from AAEP Online Client Education. Jim Hamilton gives a simple, intelligent discussion of the merits and care of the senior equine, from dental care to feeding and nutrition. Terry Gerros, DVM, explains the importance of keeping your horse's mouth healthy. From the AAEP Client Education Forum- What are wolf teeth and why don't all horses get them? These are other questions are answered. Symptoms and treatment of Equine Protozoal Myeloencephalitis from the medical team at the University of Missouri- Columbia. Information about combatting this neurologically damaging disease. University of Kentucky, Equine Parasitology. Granstom gives details of Diagnosis and treatment of Equine Protozoal Myeloencephalitis. I was very interested to read about the various studies they have been conducting on Seroprevalence, Natural Infection and Risk Factor. Detailed look at lameness, the many different causes and treatments available. Hyperkalemic Periodic Paralysis- Current Facts- Sharon Spier DVM PhD. Learn exactly what HYPP is, how it affects the horse, which horses are more likely to become affected and how to effectively control HYPP. Discussing the unanswered questions about Potomac Horse Fever, or PHF. From Horse Illustrated Online Equine Library. This article by Dan Woodman traces this early outbreaks of PHF in the 70s and describes the various clinicall signs and the benefits of vaccination. This article by Robert Oglesby describes the causes of the equine respiratory disease commonly known as" heaves", or COPD and offers some treatment solutions. Details of the different vaccines available and descriptions of the various viruses and bacteria they protect against. Confused about what protection you should give your horse this spring? Find the answers in this article by Jenny Dolan. Bio-Logic Equine Specialties-- the natural solution to toxic pollution. Cheval International-- manufacturer of revolutionary horse products, European Show Secrets, Black-As-Knight, Inside Out Insect Control, Lame-A-Way, Bit-O-Magic, and so much more. Your Equine Nutrition Resource-- from Doug Gordon, Equine Specialist for Purina Mills. Grand Meadows-- dedicated to producing the best quality nutritional products for your horse's health and performance. High Performance Horse Treats-- a premium treat and training aide for the health and enjoyment of horses everywhere. Hilton Herbs: The Equine& Canine Herbalists. Internet Hay Exchange-- clearinghouse for hay producers interested in selling hay via the Internet. The Missing Link-- supersupplement for companion animals. Ration Plus for Horses-- a unique biotech feed supplement that helps restore a horse's digestive system. Rossi Transport Service-- wholesale hay, straw, wood shavings& landscaping materials for all California( US). Select the Best Nutritional Supplements-- beneficial nutritional products and programs that are based on National Research Council recommendations and proven university studies. Triple Crown Feed-- the secret to raising a successful horse begins with a superior feeding program. Vern Thompson, Hay Broker-- we buy, sell, produce and deliver hay anywhere in the Northeastern US. Winners Bee Pollen-- all-natural equine supplements. Winning Performance Products-- for all your equine nutritional supplements. Equestrian Center| Breeds& Associations| Classified Ads| Clubs& Associations| Commercial Resources| Computer Services& Software| Equine Schools| Feed& Nutrition| Harness Racing| Horse Racing| Horses for Sale| Horse Shoeing| Horse Shows& Events| Mailing Lists| Misc. Resources| Model Horses| Olympic& Paralympic Games| Polo| Publications| Regional Directories| Special Interests| Boarding, Training& Instruction| Stable Management| Stallion Service| Tack& Equipment| Vacation& Travel| Veterinary Resources| Advertising| Online96 Mall.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Direct Hit Web Search:" horse and disease" strangles and. web sites shopping categories Jeeves Answers Advanced Search. Related Searches. CSL: ABOUT CSL: VETERINARY DIVISION: VETERINARY PRODUCTS-HORSES. This site has a continuing array of professional material on every aspect of equine medicine, reproduction, nutrition, farriery, alternative medicine, equine research, animal. Horse Resources Additional Lists Equine Bits And Pieces- Australia Equine Directory- Acme Pet Company Equine Info Equinet Equiweb[ added January 11, 2000] Equiworld.net Horse. Eastern equine encephalitis is a viral disease that attacks the central nervous system of horses. Books All Products Explore this book buying info editorial reviews customer reviews See more by. Shop for products related to"" horse and disease" strangles and". Search the Yellow Pages for"" horse and disease" strangles and". Ask Jeeves a question about"" horse and disease" strangles and". Home| About Us| Partners| Affiliate Program| Advertise| Sponsorship Network| Add URL| Help.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Tetanus Information Page. The Australian Vaccine Specialist. Tetanus Information Page. These spores germinate, multiply and produce a very powerful poison which affects the muscles. Persistent spores can be found in the soil( it is more prevalent in cultivated than uncultivated soils) and organisms are routinely isolated from the faeces of many domestic animals, including the dog and cat, and also from humans. Animals that have recovered from natural infection are not immune and still require vaccination for protection. Treatment is difficult, time consuming, very expensive and often unsuccessful. It involves the use of tetanus antitoxin( Equivac TAT) to neutralise unbound circulating toxin, penicillin to prevent further growth of C/. tetani, muscle relaxants to relax the rigid muscles, and supportive therapy until the toxin is eliminated or destroyed. If an unvaccinated horse is injured, tetanus antitoxin should be administered to provide immediate but short-term( 3 weeks) protection. At the same time a vaccination program should be commenced to develop long-lasting immunity. The tetanus vaccine( Equivac-T) may be administered intramuscularly on one side of the neck, while the tetanus antitoxin is injected subcutaneously on the other side of the neck. Tetanus vaccine alone provides long-lasting protection but immunity takes 7-10 days to develop, and an injured horse may develop tetanus before protection is achieved. Tetanus antitoxin alone provides protection in 2-3 hours but it only lasts for 3 weeks and tetanus may develop after this protection has waned. Therefore, simultaneous injection of 1500 units of Equivac TAT and 1mL of Equivac-T provides optimal immediate and long-term protection. Another dose of Equivac-T four weeks later is required for long-lasting protection. Horses given tetanus antitoxin can develop tetanus once the levels of antitoxin have dropped below the protective level. It is extremely risky if owners are relying on the use of tetanus antitoxin given to horses, after a wound, to protect them against tetanus, as some cases of tetanus occur from wounds which are so small they are not noticed. Provided the injection has been carried out aseptically, any swelling should resolve spontaneously. For all horses and foals, three months of age and above, the primary vaccination course consists of two injections of Equivac-T or Equivac 2 in 1, four weeks apart, followed up by a booster dose one year later. In these cases administer 1500 units( 1 syringe) of Equivac-TAT on one side of the neck and 1 mL( 1 syringe) of Equivac-T on the other side of the neck. ( Antitoxin alone has limited usefulness owing to the shortness of its protective action and a single dose of Tetanus Vaccine given to an unimmunised horse at the time of wounding or surgery may not prevent tetanus. This is why the simultaneous injection of Equivac-TAT and Equivac-T is recommended. This program is available on disk( to get your free disk please E-mail rbrooks@ csl.com.au), or for quicker delivery of the information, especially for people outside Australia, please click here to download a free self-executable file( healthy.exe- 1.38 MB). The Healthy Horse Computer Disk runs under Microsoft Windows 3.1 and above, on a PC with at least a 386DX processor, running at 25MHz with 4 MB of RAM, a minimum of 8 MB of available hard disk space and a 256 colour display. Equivac Home Page| Strangles Information| Vaccination Information| CSL Home Page.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Electronic Zoo/ NetVet Veterinary Resources- Horse Sites. AAEP- American Association of Equine Practitioners. Bayer Equine WellCare Program. Equine Disease Modelling( University of Glasgow). Equine Morbillivirus( FAO World Reference Laboratory for Rinderpest and the FAO/ OIE Regional Reference Laboratory for Rinderpest& Peste des Petits Ruminants). Equine Research Foundation( University of Kentucky). Recognizing and Maintaining the Healthy Horse( Purdue University). RIRDC Equine Research& Development Program. USDA APHIS NAHMS- National Animal Health Monitoring System. American Association of Owners and Breeders of Peruvian Paso Horses. BIODIDAC- Bank of Digital Resources for Teaching Biology( University of Ottawa). British Horse Society List Of Approved Establishments-1997. Department of Animal Science( North Carolina State University). NAERIC- North American Equine Ranching Information Council. Bayoaks Arabians. Blackwell Stables. British Horse& Pony Trading Company. Cadenced Collections, Ltd.'s Equestrian Extravaganza. Horseshoes.com- Farrier& Hoofcare Resource Center. Select Another Species General Animal Sites Amphibians Birds Cats Cows Dogs Ferrets Fish Horses Invertebrates Marine Pigs Primates Rabbits Reptiles Rodents Small Ruminants Wildlife Zoo Animals Fictional Images Sounds.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
[ Follow Ups][ Post Followup][ The Horse Forum Advice Column Board]. Posted by Juanita on December 13, 1999 at 23: 52: 35:. Our horses are having the worst outbreak of strangles that I have ever seen. I have read several messages here tonight that has said that vacinations can cause the problem to go to other glads, and actually cause the disease to get worse. [ Follow Ups][ Post Followup][ The Horse Forum Advice Column Board].
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Equine Recurrent Uveitis: Information for the Horse Owner. Equine Recurrent Uveitis:. Welcome! You are the 40689th visitor to this page since April 4 th, 1996. This pamphlet has been compiled by a horse owner for other horse owners as a source of information on equine recurrent uveitis. The impetus for this project came from owners across the country seeking information on this disease and pooling their knowledge to help each other. It is absolutely essential that a veterinarian be consulted immediately for any problem concerning your horse's eye( s) and that the course of treatment be prescribed by or designed in conjunction with a veterinarian. The material included here will serve to provide information about the wide range of causes, methods of treatment and means of handling equine recurrent uveitis. The specific treatment plan will have to be designed for your horse's particular case by a veterinarian. The author wishes to thank the many people who have contributed to this work: the owners who filled out the original survey sheets and took the time to write out all their suggestions; Nancy Vanderlan for the initial case study on her horse Chance, for the many articles she provided, some of which are used as resources here, her constant help and encouragement and all her publicity work; Meg Sleeper, VMD, a constant source of information, for her treatment of Honey, her patience with my questions and for editing this from a veterinarian's point of view; and to Carol Dilley and Ginny Hartman, horse owners who were asked to imagine that their horses had just been diagnosed with ERU and to evaluate this information from that standpoint. Equine recurrent uveitis, sometimes known as moon blindness, is a disease of the horse's eye that can be caused by many different things-- bacteria, virus, parasites, or trauma. Uveitis is often diagnosed as something far less serious and valuable treatment time is lost. The usual short term treatment includes atropine to dilate the eye, followed by either a steroid or antibiotic. Treatment must be prescribed by a veterinarian because if a steroid is used when the eye is ulcerated, blindness can result. At sometime in the future, if it is recurrent uveitis, a set of circumstances will cause the eye to have another episode. The circumstances can be internal; external such as wind, dust, pollen; stress of any kind; or due to stopping the anti-inflammatory medicine prematurely. With recurrent uveitis, the episodes continue to occur. Long term maintenance treatment will often include aspirin, bute or banamine on a regular basis in an attempt to keep the inflammation from starting. The section on Dealing with your Horse on a Daily Basis goes into detail and includes suggestions from owners who have dealt with this disease. Also known as Moon Blindness or Periodic Ophthalmia, Equine Recurrent Uveitis is the most common cause of blindness in horses. Unlike many diseases, it does not have one single cause and for this reason has baffled researchers. Fortunately, while the causes cannot be foreseen or eradicated, its progression can in many cases be slowed or stopped by fast, aggressive and consistent care. In the same survey there were 17 Quarter Horses, followed by 15 Appaloosas, and 9 Arabians( Nelson, 1995), so the disease strikes all colors and breeds. A study of 372 cases recently reported in JAVMA was held in the Genesee River Valley of Western New York State. It dealt with the association of leptospirosis and breed with uveitis and blindness in horses. According to their findings," The Appaloosa breed was over-represented in the population with uveitis, supporting recent reports of a predilection for uveitis in that breed over other breeds. Rate of vision loss also was higher in Appaloosas than that observed for other breeds, suggesting that Appaloosas have a poor prognosis for vision if uveitis develops. The statistics from the Nelson survey were similar: 12 of the 15 Appaloosas( 80 37;) had blindness in one( 5) or two( 7) eyes, as opposed to 44 37; of the Arabians and 35 37; of the Quarter Horses. " Impairment of the normal blood-aqueous barrier in the iris and ciliary body vasculature owing to inflammation is the underlying cause of the clinical signs. In very simplified terms," the blood is fighting the disease and the interior eye, while the eye is fighting the disease and trying to protect itself from being digested by the body's own blood. Uveitis unfortunately is often misdiagnosed as something less severe or in some cases it is totally ignored. It is important that uveitis be diagnosed correctly because lack of or incorrect treatment can have serious consequences. Additional signs that owners in the Nelson Survey mentioned were: stops grazing, decreased appetite, swollen eyes, spookiness, blinking, avoidance of sunshine, and grumpiness. If signs persist even with treatment, you or your veterinarian may want to consult a veterinary ophthalmologist since this disease can lead to blindness in one or both eyes if not treated aggressively. In the Nelson survey of 68 horses with ERU, 3 thought allergies were the primary cause and an additional 5 listed allergies as a possible cause, but there are no scientific studies to verify this. It is important to establish a specific diagnosis whenever possible which may require tests such as: blood count; serum biochemical profile; urinalysis; leptospirosis, toxoplasmosis and brucellosis titers; and fecal exam for parasites. " Aqueous humor antibody titer determination may be done simultaneously and is quite useful but aqueous paracentesis requires general anesthesia and poses a significant risk of aggravating uveal inflammation with the procedure itself. Leptospirosis can cause abortions, still births, decreased milk production, recurrent uveitis and death. The organism enters through the mucous membranes of the host animal, and contamination comes from contacting the urine of the infected animal through water, mud, bedding or food. Leptospira are divided into six major serogroups and these are then further divided into over 500 serovarities. Horses can catch it from other horses, although the majority have most likely contracted it from infected cattle, rats or wildlife. The frustrating thing about leptospirosis and uveitis in horses is that the uveitis may not occur for 18-24 or more months after the leptospirosis infection. Testing for leptospirosis at the time uveitis occurs may confirm that the disease was active at one time but it is too late to do anything about the leptospirosis for that horse. However, understanding how leptospirosis exists and is spread can help you prevent the infection of other horses. It is therefore very important to keep animals from drinking stagnant water, to have good management of manure, and to practice good sanitation. Some precautions you can take include fencing water sources that wildlife can access, draining wet muddy areas where horses are pastured, thoroughly disinfecting stalls and areas where animals who have active leptospirosis have been, and washing hands and clothes when in contact with the disease( Pinney, op cit p. Vaccination of herds or individual animals in areas where leptospirosis is prevalent is also usually recommended although there is still much discussion pro and con for vaccinating horses and there is no approved vaccine for horses at this time. Signs of leptospirosis include fever, anorexia, conjunctivitis, abnormal milk and or decreased milk production( Pinney, op cit p. Other bacterial infections included Streptococcus equi( streptococcal hypersensitivity hence a connection with strangles), Escherichia coli, Rhodococcus equi and brucellosis. The major viral infections linked to equine uveitis are respiratory equine herpesvirus and influenza virus. The most common signs of it are sores breaking out on the midline of the horse's stomach, base of the mane and withers and uveitis in the horse's eye( s)( French, 1988). Ironically for horse owners, onchocerca can sometimes first be identified by the onset of symptoms following worming with ivermectin. This is one drug that will effectively kill off the young microfilariae, but at the same time by doing its job it can initiate uveitis if a large quantity of the microfilariae are in the eye at the time of worming. After uveitis has started, some owners find that administering bute or banamine several days before and after worming can control the inflammation so that the uveitis does not flare up every time the horse is wormed. This also might indicate that in dealing with abandoned or abused horses who may not have been wormed on a regular basis, consulting a veterinarian regarding the possibility of onchocerca microfilariae in the eye before worming may prevent uveitis in addition to its other problems. A conjunctival biopsy can be used to identify onchocerca microfilariae in the eye, but it does involve using auriculopalpebral nerve block and topical anesthesia. Once the inflammation has quieted, treatment can commence. Direct cellular damage by mechanical penetration and immune reaction to parasite antigens may lead to uveitis. Another possible cause of uveitis is an" immunological reaction to migrating forms of intestinal nematodes, particularly the strongyles. Unfortunately, cataract surgery while an option, is not usually performed on horses because of the cost and possible postoperative problems. Allergies were another suspected cause as indicated in the Nelson Survey. Because May and October were the highest months of the onset of the disease in these horses, this indicates that allergies should be considered as a possibility. Pollen and ragweed type allergies as well as spring and fall shots or combinations of shots should be examined as a preventative measure. Using steroids in an ulcerated eye can make the condition worse and possibly lead to blindness. There are many different products used, but you need to be aggressive with the prescribed medication, often 4 times a day, and in some cases around the clock and then cut down the number of treatments per day per the veterinarian's instructions. In addition to the ointments and drops in the eye, bute, aspirin or banamine are used to decrease the inflammation. Flunixin meglumine is sometimes used in acute cases and can quickly bring relief thereby facilitating an examination of the eye. In addition to the standard treatments, owners are experimenting with alternative methods such as acupuncture, MSM, vitamins, yucca, apis mullica, bee pollen, clovite, chiropractic, herbs, hot and cold compresses and riboflavin. One owner in the Nelson survey used a hormone implant as it was suspected that the uveitis was tied to the mare's heat cycle and that seemed to help. Large doses of antibiotics have sometimes helped to stop the progression of the disease. In some cases the antibiotics were given because of the uveitis and in other incidences, it was given for another purpose and the byproduct was an end to or substantial lessening of the episodes of uveitis. Another treatment which is sometimes used if the original cause of the uveitis is thought to be leptospirosis is to vaccinate with a leptospirosis vaccine. There is a great deal of discussion pro and con on vaccinating for leptospirosis since there has not been a vaccine tested and approved for use on horses. Since uveitis is an immune related disease, some feel that giving the vaccine will cause further episodes of the uveitis. There is growing interest in testing and possibly approving an equine vaccine for use on horses already infected, but there maybe a problem testing it for use on uninfected horses since it is felt that it could cause the first episode of uveitis. There are areas of the United States where leptospirosis is so prevalent that horses are routinely vaccinated for leptospirosis with seemingly little difficulty. In cases where the vaccine is used after the horse has uveitis, it is also sometimes combined with doses of tetracycline or streptomycin. In the Nelson Survey, 4 horses with ERU in only one eye had the diseased eye removed and at the time of the survey, Nov. It is possible that the uveitis would not have spread even with the bad eye intact, but it may provide the incentive for additional research. Long term management involves getting a handle on what triggers individual episodes. Unfortunately that can be different at different times but some of the big offenders are: wind, dust, getting chilled, stress of competition, a new pasture mate, losing a pasture mate, ammonia build up in the barn, injury, food, seasons changing, strong sun, severe cold, worming, bugs and flies, shots or going off the anti-inflammatory medicine. It is considered to be the easiest NASID( nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug) on the stomach, but can still lead to ulcers in some horses after a time. It involves experimenting and keeping detailed notes on the horse's progress. An additional concern is to keep the horse from rubbing the infected eye so he will do no further damage. Your veterinarian may prescribe an antihistamine or other medication to help stop the itching. It is very time consuming and can be expensive if ti continually reoccurs, but by being aggressive and diligent you have a chance of saving your horses's vision and can save money in the long run if the disease is successfully halted or at least slowed down. One thing that can not be stressed enough is that if you feel that something is not right, the medications aren't helping, an episode is lasting too long, etc., trust your instincts and get a second opinion or consult a veterinary ophthalmologist. In the Nelson Survey, of the horses in which the uveitis started in one eye and then spread, it spread to the second in 3-5 months in 41 37; of the horses. At the onset of the disease if you haven't already gotten him adjusted to it, start doing everything from both sides; leading, grooming, saddling, and mounting if you can. Get in the habit of talking to him constantly so he knows where you are. Your first reaction might be that you will replace the horse's bad eye. The first time he jumps left because of something scary he sees with his good right eye, you will realize the importance of staying on the good side. Dressage lessons have helped a number of riders with cueing and also can help you to straighten the horse if he has become crooked to compensate while loosing sight. In cases in the Nelson Survey where the mare and her off spring both had uveitis, it was beyond the scope of the survey to determine whether they were both exposed to the same" insult", were susceptible to uveitis genetically or other factors were involved. Watch for signs that the horse may not be tolerant of strangers or perhaps children and take steps to protect them from too close contact with the horse. At the first sign of uveitis, start teaching voice commands to your horse if he doesn't know them already: up, down, step( for over logs on the trail), stand and whoa are a few that come in very handy. Network members receive the results of the initial survey in addition to articles of note and veterinarian resources. Members continue to get mailings to update each other on what is going on in research, possible new treatments and products, and to add the mini sketches of new participants. To help cover the cost of operating the Network, there is a one time charge of 36; 25( outside the United States, please send a 36; 25 U.S., PhD: Association of leptospiral seroreactivity and breed with uveitis and blindness in horses: 372 cases( 1986-1993).: Efficiency of ivermectin in Paste and Injectable Formulations against Microfilariae of Onchocerca Cevicalis and Resolution of Associated Dermatitis in Horses. Nelson, Mary: Equine Recurrent Uveitis A Survey of 68 Horses in the United States and Canada.: Leptospirosis: Prevention/ Control in Domestic Livestock, The Southwestern Veterinarian, Vol. Veterinary Clinics of North America: Equine Practice. We are tracking potential causes of uveitis and especially cases of Leptospirosis around the country to help show the widespread need for more research. If you haven't had your horse tested, but would consider doing so, please have the blood test done and forward the results, positive or negative. If another cause was suspected, please indicate that on the enclosed questionnaire. Anterior Uveitis, Recurrent Uveitis, Periodic Opthalmia, and Moonblindness by Robert N. Role of Leptospiral Infection in Equine Recurrent Uveitis United States Animal Health Association, 1997 Proceedings. The Holistic Horse Holistic& Alternative Therapies.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Animal Disease and Control. To control outbreaks of notifiable or major diseases of farm animals in Hong Kong, we provide the following services:-. Advice on disease prevention and the use of antibiotics in food animals;. Vaccination of imported pigs against foot& mouth disease& classical swine fever;. Disease investigation, including post-mortem examinations and interpretation of laboratory findings and. Address: Castle Peak Poultry Breeding Centre, San Fuk Road, Tuen Mun, New Territories, HONG KONG. Public Health( Animals& Birds) Ordinance Cap.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Enjoying" The Knight's Tale", by Jeff Chaucer. Translate this page from English to Spanish English to French English to German English to Italian English to Portuguese. powered by SYSTRAN Translation Software. He has been a successful fighter and served with distinction in many campaigns. The king of neighboring Thebes( Creon) is a tyrant who impiously forbade the burial of enemy dead. After the battle, he condemns two prisoners of war, Arcite( arr-KEE-tay) and Palamon to life in prison for no evident reason. Arcite is eventually released and returns in disguise to court Emily. To prepare for the fight, Theseus builds an amphitheater with shrines to Mars( god of war), Venus( goddess of love), and Diana( goddess of hunting, the moon, and celibacy). The story comes from a tale by Boccaccio, and it includes philosophical musings on fortune, the power of the stars( astrology) and predestination in general, etc. allegorical figures including lasciviousness( sex for its own sake), largesse( wasting your money looking for sex), philtres( have you heard of today's" date rape pill"?), force( rape itself), falsehood, flattery, extravagance, intrige, and jealousy( with a gold crown, and a cuckoo, symbol of adultery), and idleness( as a teacher, I've seen how grades often plummet when a student enters into a" relationship"). Narcissus gave up his life from falling in love with his own reflection; this was a punishment inflicted by Venus for his refusing to gratify a woman who loved him;. A forest without people or animals, with the ground quaking and rumbling, as in a post-nuclear holocaust scenario. A nail driven into a person's forehead for torture and execution( this was used both by the Viet Cong and by Ferdinand Marcos, and surely others). Julius Caesar's murder, Mark Antony's suicide, and so forth, with a comment that this is predestined in the stars. The statue of Diana shows her other roles as goddess of hunting, goddess of the moon, and goddess of the dismal underworld( as Hecate). Today's secular humanists talk openly about humankind standing alone in a godless universe. Some keep up some form of religious observance out of deference to the feelings of their neighbors. I do not believe the knight is speaking for Chaucer, but rather that Chaucer painted him from real life. The knight is struggling to live a good life although( or perhaps because) he no longer believes in the comforts of religion. The Amazons The Amazon Myth and Chaucer-- subtitled" Destroying Traces of Matriarchal Culture in Medieval Europe". Such postings tell much more about today's grievance-group politics than about their supposed subjects. Prehistoric Europe was governed by virtuous, pacifistic, ecology-conscious, nature-worshipping women( the" matriarchy"). This was somehow overthrown by evil, warlike, Judeo-Christian men( the" patriarchy"). The evil men began persecuting the virtuous women and destroyed the evidence of the matriarchy. The most popular book" proving" this claim is Merlin Stone's When God Was a Woman. , a 1976 book of pseudo-anthropology which was trashed as sub-scholarly even by the generally-liberal academic community. Twentieth-century indiginous people have had fun getting gullible anthropologists like Margaret Mead to swallow preposterous lies. Although there have been individual female rulers and fighters, and some offices in a society may be reserved for women, there's been no observation of a culture where the women make the laws instead of the men. When anthropologists talk about a" matriarchy"( actually," they are referring to societies in which descent and inheritance pass through the female line rather than a society in which the women govern the men. It allows the king to be succeeded by his son-in-law( who the king can chooses) instead of his son( who may be stupid and get himself and everybody else killed. When there is no reliable birth control and population pressures make conflict a fact of life, a community's physical survival depends on the ability of its men to fight as well as, or better than, their neighbors. A community is governed by whoever the fighting men as a group choose to obey. While today's radical feminists talk about Christianity being a" male dominated theology", a fair reading of the historical evidence tells me that early Christianity thrived largely because it allowed women to participate as equals with the men-- which in the ancient world was extraordinary. Whatever Paul may have meant by" women keeping silence in church" and" women being subject to their husbands", the evidence( even from Paul himself) is that the women were full participants. Minangkabau-- a real society, which is a matriarchy only in the sense that descent and inheritance are determined only through the female line. J C Smith concludes that prehistoric Europe was a matriarchy, with the women leading politically-correct communities. On the evidence of his article, he knows this because( and only because) these communities have left us lots of little stone carvings of women. Ancient Europe must have been a matriarchy-- evidently this is proved simply by all those little stone carvings of women. I'm an MD, a pathologist in Kansas City, a mainstream Christian.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Strangles--Diagnosis, Treatment and Prevention. Strangles is an extremely contagious disease of the horse's upper respiratory tract. It is caused by Streptococcus equi, a type of bacteria that is spread from one horse to another by inhalation or ingestion of purulent exudates, either directly( horse-to-horse contact) or through environmental contamination. The spread of strangles infection is rapid and often reaches 100% of the susceptible population. Fortunately, serious illness due to strangles is rare and usually associated with the bacteria spreading beyond the upper respiratory tract. This syndrome is referred to as" bastard strangles." A rarer and more serious complication is purpura hemorrhagica, which is an immune reaction that damages the horse's blood vessels and may be fatal. Infected horses become depressed, lose their appetite, develop a 104-106 F fever and a cough. Bacteria cultured from the abscess material can be identified for a definitive diagnosis. Horses suspected of having strangles should be isolated, kept warm and dry, and encouraged to eat soft, palatable feed( because swallowing is painful). Complete drainage of the abscesses, along with regular flushes of the ruptured lymph nodes until healing occurs, are necessary to resolve the infection. The purulent material from the abscesses is infectious, and contaminated objects, including boots, hands, tack, hay, stall, and soil, should be cleaned and disinfected or discarded. " Bastard strangles" and purpura hemorrhagica are treated on an individual-case basis. Strict quarantine of any new animals on the premises should always be enforced for up to six weeks. Vaccination of all healthy horses should be done routinely on high-risk farms and in endemic herds, or in the face of an outbreak. It must be remembered that clinically recovered horses may shed the bacteria in nasal secretions up to several months after illness. Recovered horses should not be considered free of infection until bacterial cultures are negative. If an outbreak occurs, all exposed or contact animals should be monitored for temperature rises or other signs of illness. Recommended for use in healthy horses as an aid in the prevention of strangles disease due to Streptococcus equi infection. A 1 mL dose should be administered annually and at any time epidemic conditions exist or exposure is imminent.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
ANTHONY DISALVO. Hoarse horse- Jackie Cornett looks on as her horse Zipped by Nature, a two-year-old gelding, is diagnosed with strangles, a disease similar to strep throat. Tim Eastman( right), a surgery resident at the Large Animal Clinic, and Jennifer Nagai, a fourth-year veterinary student., a senior political science major, breaks during a game of nineball in the Bowling and Games area of the Memorial Student Center Wednesday.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
The Horse Interactive-- AAEP Forum June 1998. ESSENTIAL HORSE HOME. KNOWLEDGE BANK. The first approach is to vaccinate your horse for those diseases for which vaccines are available. Should we vaccinate for all of the dozen or so diseases for which vaccines are available? Not necessarily. Select vaccines based on the likelihood of exposure to the disease and by the type of disease produced. These include diseases like tetanus and encephalomyelitis( sleeping sickness). Follow this with vaccination for diseases that are highly contagious even if not highly fatal, especially in horses which are involved in group activities. Vaccination is effective not only in protecting individually vaccinated horses from disease, but also in reducing the overall numbers of infected horses in a group, making exposure less likely for everybody. The second approach is to prevent exposure to infectious diseases. A number of infectious diseases fall into the" social diseases" category. These are very contagious diseases transmitted by horse-to-horse contact or by sharing intimate items such as water or feed buckets, dose syringes, or the same air space. These include the respiratory viruses such as influenza( flu) and rhinopneumonitis( rhino) and bacterial pathogens such as Streptococcus equi( strangles). While vaccinations are available for a number of these infectious agents, the vaccines are not 100% effective and may not totally prevent a disease outbreak in the face of heavy exposure. Meticulous hygiene should be practiced with regard to items in the environment that can transmit the disease. Some infectious diseases such as equine infectious anemia( swamp fever) have neither an available vaccination or a cure, so prevention is critical. Opossums are suspected of contaminating the pasture with infective forms of equine protozoal myelitis organisms through their feces. It can be difficult, if not impossible, under certain management conditions to control exposure where horse-to-horse contact is not the primary mode of transmission. This makes it even more important to vaccinate against those agents for which vaccines are available. As you can see, there is value in employing both strategies when it comes to protecting your horse from disease outbreaks. Your veterinarian is an excellent source for information as well as partner for developing a preventative health care plan for your horse. " Sonny" Corley is a partner in Acadianor Equine Clinic in LaFayette, Louisiana and a member of the AAEP Public Relations Committee.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
: New Combination Equine Vaccine from Solvay Animal Health, Inc- www.erc.on.ca. Extracted from: Considerations for Vaccination, by Dr. in the Mohill Farm Mangement publication,. In most horse operations, vaccination forms an integral part of the overall preventive health program for infectious disease.To use or not to use a particular type of vaccine in a certain situation is a question that is often asked of veterinarians. This decision depends on the risk/ benefit analysis of the particular disease in question. Benefits of not acquiring a significant disease situation on farm are rather obvious. In performance horses, the goal of the preventive health program is to minimize or even eliminate the time spent out of training in order to maximize earning potential. Risk of acquiring a disease depends on all of the factors that contribute to the likelihood of a horse getting that disease. Other important considerations include effectiveness of the vaccine, its cost and potential side effects. For instance, an adequately vaccinated performance horse may derive much more significant economic benefit from an optimal period of rest than a barren broodmare or a" backyard" horse. On the other side of the coin, many owners of" backyard" horses will diligently vaccinate their horse against even low-risk diseases despite the expense involved in order to keep their horse healthy. Currently, there are vaccines available to aid in the prevention of the following diseases: tetanus, eastern, western, venezuelan encephalomyelitis, influenza A-equi-1 and A-equi-2 equine herpes 1 and 4 infection, strangles, rabies, Potomac horse fever, botulism, equine viral arteritis, anthrax.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Most horse owners will have heard of the disease Strangles- but how many know just how serious a disease it can be? Or that the number of outbreaks in the UK is on the increase? Or that it causes a great deal of suffering and can be potentially fatal? The disease does not discriminate. At the moment there is no vaccine that prevents infection and until recently it was difficult to test for the bacterium which causes it. However, scientists at the Animal Health Trust are making progress in this area and with continued support for this work are trying to understand how the disease is caused and how immunity develops, to help future vaccine development. Recent research has shown that carriers of Strangles are alarmingly common and testing methods are now being improved. The Animal Health Trust has developed more sensitive laboratory techniques which detect bacterial DNA. Strangles can spread through shared water sources where the bacterium will live for long periods and the infection can also be spread via tack and handlers or their clothes. Detected via the new test, endoscopy can then be used to remove the pus and the inflammation and bacterium can be eliminated with locally installed and general antibiotic treatment. The goal for Dr Chanter and his colleagues is a vaccine that can protect against this thoroughly unpleasant disease. Current work involving the AHT and the University of Sunderland has identified a protein which scientists believe may play an important role in the ability of Streptococcus equi to cause Strangles. Work to develop a vaccine is also being carried out with Microbiologists at Newcastle University. We have also produced a leaflet about Strangles for anyone interested in equine welfare. If you would like to help us do this please send a donation to Animal Health Trust Strangles Research Fund If you would like a copy of the leaflet, or more information about this disease please write to the Centre for Preventive Medicine at the usual AHT address, found on the Contact page.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Strangles--Diagnosis, Treatment and Prevention. Strangles is an extremely contagious disease of the horse's upper respiratory tract. It is caused by Streptococcus equi, a type of bacteria that is spread from one horse to another by inhalation or ingestion of purulent exudates, either directly( horse-to-horse contact) or through environmental contamination. The spread of strangles infection is rapid and often reaches 100% of the susceptible population. Fortunately, serious illness due to strangles is rare and usually associated with the bacteria spreading beyond the upper respiratory tract. This syndrome is referred to as" bastard strangles." A rarer and more serious complication is purpura hemorrhagica, which is an immune reaction that damages the horse's blood vessels and may be fatal. Infected horses become depressed, lose their appetite, develop a 104-106 F fever and a cough. Bacteria cultured from the abscess material can be identified for a definitive diagnosis. Horses suspected of having strangles should be isolated, kept warm and dry, and encouraged to eat soft, palatable feed( because swallowing is painful). Complete drainage of the abscesses, along with regular flushes of the ruptured lymph nodes until healing occurs, are necessary to resolve the infection. The purulent material from the abscesses is infectious, and contaminated objects, including boots, hands, tack, hay, stall, and soil, should be cleaned and disinfected or discarded. " Bastard strangles" and purpura hemorrhagica are treated on an individual-case basis. Strict quarantine of any new animals on the premises should always be enforced for up to six weeks. Vaccination of all healthy horses should be done routinely on high-risk farms and in endemic herds, or in the face of an outbreak. It must be remembered that clinically recovered horses may shed the bacteria in nasal secretions up to several months after illness. Recovered horses should not be considered free of infection until bacterial cultures are negative. If an outbreak occurs, all exposed or contact animals should be monitored for temperature rises or other signs of illness. Recommended for use in healthy horses as an aid in the prevention of strangles disease due to Streptococcus equi infection. A 1 mL dose should be administered annually and at any time epidemic conditions exist or exposure is imminent.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
ERC& NAERIC- Disease Watch- Source Spot- Vaccination. ERC EquineCanada NAERIC. Animal Health Laboratories. Regular and timely vaccination, thereby enhancing an animal's resistance, is only part of a program that prevents infectious disease. Programs that incorporate only vaccination as a preventative health care are not as effective, since a horse's resistance to a particular disease-causing agent may be short-lived in the face of massive challenges. Client education with regard to early recognition of disease, the cost of treatment, possible outcomes of the disease process, and time lost from training will help their understanding of the need for a more complete disease prevention program. Veterinarians should make sure that their horse clients are familiar with taking temperature, pulse and respirations, knowing if these values, once measured, are normal and recognizing abnormal behaviour. The incidence and prevalence of infectious disease normally varies with the following:. The conditions on breeding farms, in performance and show horse barns and at racetracks are ideal for the transmission of infectious disease, particularly respiratory disease. Breeding farms represent places of special risk for acquiring infectious disease due to the following:. Resident mares and foals, should be kept separate from weanlings, yearlings, stallions, horses in training and mares visiting the farm for breeding. It is important that visiting mares are Coggins test negative for equine infectious anaemia and are properly vaccinated and dewormed prior to arrival at the farm. They should be received and kept in barns and paddocks that are separate from the resident farm population. This is an excellent time for farm staff to closely monitor individuals for any sign of contagious disease. This monitoring process can range from relatively simple procedures such as clinical observation, to daily monitoring of body temperature, to complete blood count, serum biochemistries and faecal egg counts. This allows the mare's immune system to become exposed to the resident pathogens on that particular farm and mount specific antibody responses to those pathogens. This will improve the newborn foal's resistance through passively acquired immunity within the first few weeks to months of life. Mares being shipped short distances for breeding can be shipped during heat, without the foal, and returned the same day to reduce the risk of the foal acquiring an infection. The desire for mare owners to reduce the risk of acquired newborn foal infection has resulted in a tremendous increase in the use of fresh/ cooled transported semen and in the use of frozen semen in some breeds. Regardless of the type of horse operation under consideration, when planning a preventive health program for infectious disease, the same basic principles apply:. Horses becoming ill with a potentially contagious disease should be promptly isolated for at least 10 days in separate air space until clinical signs have disappeared. Separate personnel should be provided, or at least if the same personnel are used, these individuals should perform their daily chores with the sick animals after the other horses on the farm have been attended to. In most horse operations, vaccination forms an integral part of the overall preventive health program for infectious disease. To use or not to use a particular type of vaccine in a certain situation is a question that is often asked of veterinarians. This decision depends on the risk/ benefit analysis of the particular disease in question. Benefits of not acquiring a significant disease situation on farm are rather obvious. In performance horses, the goal of the preventive health program is to minimize or even eliminate the time spent out of training in order to maximize earning potential. Risk of acquiring a disease depends on all of the factors that contribute to the likelihood of a horse getting that disease. These risk factors may include the prevalence and virulence of the particular organism in question, season, climate, geographical location and the level of preventive health management present on the farm. Other important considerations include effectiveness of the vaccine, its cost and potential side effects. For instance, an adequately vaccinated performance horse may derive much more significant economic benefit from an optimal period of rest than a barren broodmare or a" backyard" horse. On the other side of the coin, many owners of" backyard" horses will diligently vaccinate their horse against even low-risk diseases despite the expense involved in order to keep their horse healthy. It is not my intention to endorse one vaccine versus another one, yet it is important to realize that the efficacy of vaccines is highly variable and that there is some variation in the efficacy of vaccines for different manufacturers. Vaccination usually does not offer a greater immunity than that resulting from the recovery of the natural disease, especially when we consider the route of vaccination as being quite different from that of the natural route of infection. A good example is the efficacy and duration of protection induced by the administration of vaccines by the intramuscular route against respiratory tract pathogens( viruses). The practice of giving a vaccine by the intramuscular route for protection against something that is contracted by way of the respiratory system has been questioned frequently. This may reflect the fact that immunity following natural infection with these pathogens is short-lived and that local immune responses at the level of the mucous membrane( lining of the respiratory tract) are very important for effective protection. In general, vaccines given by intramuscular injection do not induce good mucosal response of the immune system where the protection is required. Another important consideration of vaccines in general is that the response of individual horses within the population is quite variable. Horses that are" properly" vaccinated may resist a minor challenge of virus in the field, but may succumb to a heavier challenge when exposed to a different strain of a particular virus that is more virulent than the one used in the vaccine. Passive transfer of antibodies via colostrum is a procedure that should be exploited to a greater degree. Generally, foals, although somewhat more capable of mounting an immune response than other species, do not respond as well as adult horses. The presence of maternal antibody in the colostrum, which finds its way in to the bloodstream during the first 24 hours of life, usually prevents a primary immune response by the young foal in the first few months of life. Disease control programs should be tailored to the individual farm with consideration of:. Ø Age, type, number, use, stocking density, value of horses, facilities, management, geographic location, and potential exposure to individual diseases. Ø The expectations of the owners should be addressed realistically, bearing in mind the efficacy of the vaccines available and the level of management devoted to reducing the disease challenge. Ø The administration of primary vaccination series and boosters should be completed prior to the expected time of exposure. Ø All horses in the herd should be vaccinated on the same schedule, whenever possible, to simplify record keeping, take advantage of bulk purchases of vaccine and to maximize the benefit from an individual visit from the veterinarian. Strict attention should be paid to adhering to the manufacturers recommendations with regard to the storage, handling and administration of vaccine. Many places are offering file folder-type records for individual horses while larger operations would probably benefit from calender-based computerized records. Currently, there are vaccines available to aid in the prevention of the following diseases:. All horses, regardless of their geographic location, should be vaccinated for tetanus. The organism that causes the disease( Clostridium tetani) is ubiquitous in the environment, the disease is difficult and expensive to treat and has a high mortality rate, and available vaccines( called toxoids) are safe, effective and relatively inexpensive. Active immunization with tetanus toxoid reduces the need to use tetanus antitoxin which, if used frequently, has caused serum hepatitis. Tetanus antitoxin should be reserved for use in foals from mares that do not receive boosters just prior to foaling. Simultaneous toxoid and antitoxin administration can be given at separate injection sites in injured, unvaccinated horses. This disease may occur sporadically from time to time( eastern) with sometimes severe outbreaks( western). Most horses in the United States and Canada are at risk during the vector( mosquito) season and should be vaccinated with the bivalent( eastern and western varieties) encephalomyelitis vaccine. where the mosquito season is prolonged, biannual vaccinations are given. The encephalomyelitis vaccine can be conveniently combined with tetanus and, where appropriate, with revaccination for influenza and rhinopneumonitis. In August and September of 1994, seven horses from the Muskoka area and one horse from Cambridge, Ontario all showed nervous signs suggestive of Eastern Equine Encephalitis( EEE). All horses that are exposed to other horses at breeding farms, racetracks, training centres, boarding stables, shows and similar athletic events should be vaccinated for influenza. Solid immunity does not persist for longer than one year, and influenza viruses tend to show a large amount of genetic drift between outbreaks, particularly the A-equi-2 strain. Consequently, available vaccines, all of which are inactivated and are administered by intramuscular injection, do not appear to induce durable protection in the field setting when the manufacturers recommendations for annual revaccination are followed. Veterinarians have increased the frequency of vaccination of high-risk populations to as often as two-month intervals even though there is some evidence that influenza vaccination in the face of high antibody titres will inhibit the optimal immune response. A similar situation seems to arise when foals younger than four months of age from previously immunized mares are vaccinated with influenza vaccines. A suitable compromise would be to vaccinate horses at moderate risk every six months while horses at a higher risk could be vaccinated every three months. The ability of a virus to undergo antigenic drift( the change in genetic material of the virus) accounts for poor responses to vaccination and more frequent vaccination is required. Some horses suffer a transient, self-limiting systemic reaction of unknown cause characterized by fever, in-appetence and depression after an influenza vaccination. For horses that have not received a booster within three months prior to anticipated exposure, it is recommended that a booster be administered two to three weeks before high-risk circumstances are encountered. There are good data to indicate that the incidence of abortion storms caused by EHV-1 has declined significantly since the introduction and widespread use of vaccines. Vaccination of pregnant mares is highly recommended even though 100% protection is not achieved. Of the three vaccines approved for use in pregnant mares, only the inactivated vaccine( Pneumabort-K) carries a label claim for the prevention of abortion. Recommendations call for the administration of the vaccine at five, seven and nine months of gestation, although some practitioners will also administer a dose at three months of age. Until recently, all EHV-1 vaccines were prepared from subtype 1 virus, which is responsible for all recorded abortions but for only a small proportion of outbreaks of respiratory disease. Vaccination of foals and young horses to prevent respiratory disease has relied on the horse's ability to make antibodies using either the modified-live or the inactivated vaccines containing only the EHV-1. The short duration of protection afforded by this strategy has resulted in frequent revaccination at two to three-month intervals to achieve an acceptable level of protection against respiratory disease. Others find that the incidence of pneumonia in foals and upper respiratory tract infections in yearlings and young horses is reduced by an intensive vaccination program that targets EHV-1 and influenza. The newer vaccines containing inactivated EHV-4 virus in combination with influenza A1 and A2 have been recently approved and are now being used in the prevention of respiratory disease. Since EHV-1 and EHV-4 are endemic( everywhere) in many horse populations, the immunizing effect of multiple vaccinations and/ or field infections tends to decrease the severity of the respiratory disease, often to the subclinical level in mature non-pregnant horses. All available vaccines make no claim for the prevention of the neurological form of this disease. The efficacy of vaccines for strangles has been questioned by veterinarians. This is because outbreaks of strangles have occurred in herds where horses were vaccinated according to manufacturer's recommendations. Strangles vaccines are associated with more side effects, both lumps and systemically, than are most other biologicals used in horses. This happens in vaccines where the whole cell bacterins are used rather than vaccines where just the M-protein is used( M-protein is the major protein involved with giving the strangles bacteria its virulence). Again, as in the use of vaccines for influenza, the injection of a strangles vaccine intramuscularly does not stimulate the production of antibodies where it is needed to protect against the invasion of these bacteria, i.e. Vaccination does tend to decrease the severity and duration of the clinical signs of disease. In view of this information, routine vaccination of horses with strangles vaccine is not recommended, except in situations where the problem is endemic and persistent from year to year, especially on breeding farms. Horses being transported to high-risk facilities should also be vaccinated. On breeding farms, efforts should be geared toward preventing the infection of foals and weanlings by vaccinating broodmares with approved products during the last three to six weeks before foaling and by starting foal vaccination at two to three months of age. Strangles vaccination of pleasure or performance horses kept routinely in low-risk situations is not routinely recommended. Although only horses in close proximity to wildlife habitats are at risk, all of the rabies vaccines are safe and efficacious and this seems like inexpensive insurance against a fatal disease. This is a relatively new disease and is also called equine monocytic ehrlichiosis. Horses originally affected by this disease resided around the Potomac River in Maryland. The signs of this disease include fever, depression, in-appetence, low white blood cell count, swelling of the limbs, and colic which is usually followed by two to three days of watery diarrhoea. Early detection and treatment with tetracyclines are important in saving the horse's life because this disease can be fatal. The high rate of serious complications and death associated with this disease justifies the vaccination of horses residing in or travelling to endemic areas. A two-dose primary series three to four weeks apart followed by boosters at six month intervals is recommended. Type B and C Clostridium botulinum bacteria are associated with the majority of botulism outbreaks in horses. The main indication for the use of this vaccine is in the prevention of botulism in foals, also called" Shaker foal" syndrome. This has become a significant problem in certain parts of the United States, especially in Kentucky and the eastern seaboard. The significance of the problem in Canada is not documented. After a three-dose primary series, annual boosters may be administered. Once the mare has antibodies to EVA by either natural exposure or by vaccination, she acquires long-term immunity. EVA has also been implicated in mild signs of limb and ventral edema( swelling) in horses showing increased titres to EVA in the bloodstream. Vaccination induces sero-conversion and may interfere with testing requirements for export to other countries demanding seronegative animals. Blood tests that provide evidence that the horse was seronegative may be helpful in resolving disputes. This is not a commonly reported disease, but can be used in areas where this disease is endemic. Despite the frequent use of vaccines in the horse world, significant systemic reactions are uncommon. Severe anaphlylactic reaction occurs infrequently but constitutes a life threatening emergency, which is promptly reversed through the administration of epinephrine. These reactions are usually self-limiting, but resolution can be promoted through the use of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, topical application of warm compresses or drawing agents and gentle exercise. Deep intramuscular injection of vaccines in the rump as opposed to the neck may reduce the incidence of local reactions.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
AltaVista- Web Results. Search Live! Shopping Raging Bull Free Internet Access Email. Language: any language English Chinese Czech Danish Dutch Estonian Finnish French German Greek Hebrew Hungarian Icelandic Italian Japanese Korean Latvian Lithuanian Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish. URL: www.dpi.qld.gov.au/ dpinotes/ animals/ workanimals/ b94103.html. Ben-Hur( 1959) Memorable Moments from Great Movies! Great Moments and Scenes from Memorable Movies! Great Lines and Quotes from the Movies! Great. Last modified on: 21-Jan-2000- 39K bytes- in English( Win-1252). URL: www.insidetheweb.com/ messageboard/ mbs.cgi/ mb11110. Laryngeal Spray- Spray Laríngeo: equine sports respiratory diseases solution. Laryngeal spray: unique treatment for sports equines in training. It heals respiratory diseases in three days, without interrupting the sporting. Macrothesaurus the premier internet directory for the business executive and the professional researcher. Last modified on: 20-Apr-2000- 6K bytes- in English( Win-1252). word count: strangles: 12022; horse: 6228543; disease: 10010508. Linguistic technology by 2 40 Teragram Corporation. Rewards| Shopping| Money| News| Sports| Travel| Careers. Health| Entertainment| World| Women| Real Estate| Local| Tech| Law. About AltaVista| Help| Contact Us| Advertise With Us| Affiliate Network. Business Solutions| Job Openings| Press Room| Terms of Use| A CMGI Company. AltaVista( R) is a registered trademark and Smart is Beautiful and the AltaVista logo are trademarks of AltaVista Company. Privacy Policy| Support FreeIM.org.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
The collected wisdom of req.equestrian circa 1993-6, one of the oldest USENET newsgroups. These days, I wouldn't recommend rec.eq newsgroup to anyone with kids. Most email addresses of the original posters are not current. All of the r.e faqs are available by anonymous FTP from ftp:// rohan.sdsu.edu/ pub/ equestrian/ where you can find a few additional files( gifs and stories) not hosted here.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
[ Follow Ups][ Disease]. In Reply to: strangles posted by Dwayne Barber on May 13, 1998 at 22: 46: 00:. I have had good luck with Garlic Powder you can buy at a horse herb place.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Search for:"+" strangles"". Free Internet Access- Find it- Talk about it- Shop for it. Search within these results. This site has a continuing array of professional material on every aspect of equine medicine, reproduction, nutrition, farriery, alternative medicine, equine research, animal. Livestock Library- Horse Section- Horse Resources Additional Lists Equine Bits And Pieces- Australia Equine Directory- Acme Pet Company Equine Info Equinet Equiweb[ added January 11, 2000] Equiworld.net Horse. This section is a repository for horse health care information, organized by subject. Eastern Eqine Encephalitis- Eastern equine encephalitis is a viral disease that attacks the central nervous system of horses. The Horse Interactive-- Features, May 1997: Strangles- KNOWLEDGE BANK HOME Knowledge Bank: Deadly Diseases THE SCOOP ESSENTIAL HORSE THI HOME May 1997 Strangles By Michael A. Horse health- vaccination against tetanus and strangles( Agfact A6.9.3)- Horse health vaccination against tetanus and strangles Agfact A6.9.3 Electronic edition 1999Revised by Rod Hoare Veterinary Officer Division of Animal Industries Introduction Prevention Tetanus Vacci. DPI Notes- Working Animals- Strangles in the horse- Strangles in the HorseR.E. Nieper, formerly Animal Health Bureau Information contained in this publication is provided as general advice only. Strangles Information Page- The Australian Vaccine Specialist Equivac ® Strangles Information Page Index Cause Signs Epidemiology Immunity Treatment Control Questions& Answers Why vaccinate? Does the vaccine provide 100% protec. Animal health equine strangles- EQUINE Strangles The number of strangles outbreaks in the UK has increased in recent years and particular care must be taken to ensure that animals do not become disease and pass the infection on to o. Horse Disease Surveillance Report- HORSE DISEASE SURVEILLANCE REPORT May 26, 1999 Dr. Bob Wright, Veterinary Scientist, Equine and Alternative Livestock, OMAFRA, Fergus Copyright March, 1999. Horse Disease Surveillance Report- Horse Disease Surveillance Report, Fall 1999 October 1999 Dr. Bob Wright, Veterinary Scientist, Equine and Alternative Livestock Copyright October 1999. AnimalForum.com: Prevention and treatment of strangles- Strangles By Jennifer Kunz, AnimalForum.com staff Strangles is the common term used for the condition caused by the Streptococcus equi bacterium. Strangles- OHAHS Health FAQ Controlling Strangles What is strangles? Strangles is a worldwide disease of horses, ponies and donkeys reported as commonly as any other infection of horses Caused by the bacterium. Equine Diseases: Strangles- Strangles Insidious, infectious, and inconvenient by Claudia True, D.V.M. Second opinion? Try searching for"++" strangles"" at. Topics Shopping Computers Entertainment Finance Games Kids Music Small Business Sports Travel. Find Auctions Chat Clubs Ecards Email Free ISP FTP MP3 Maps People Stocks Yellow Pages More.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
[ Follow Ups][ Post Followup][ The Michigan Horse Connection][ FAQ]. In Reply to: Strangles at the Double JJ posted by Beth Blessing on July 02, 1999 at 06: 58: 24:. First- I am so sorry for any of you whose horses have contracted this disease. The article discusses how it is passed, possible treatment( s), the pros& cons of. : The article discusses how it is passed, possible treatment( s), the pros& cons of: vaccination against, etc. :: Help! Last weekend me& my friends took our horses to:: the Double JJ Ranch unaware that the Double JJ horses:: have strangles!:: We found this out after we'd unloaded& were hand grazing:: our horses& noticed the ill horse in the adjacent:: paddock. [ Follow Ups][ Post Followup][ The Michigan Horse Connection][ FAQ].
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Google Search:" horse and disease" strangles and. 10 results 30 results 100 results All Languages Danish Dutch English Finnish French German Italian Norwegian Portuguese Spanish Swedish Custom. Search Tips SafeSearch is Off Language Options. Google results 1-10 of about 16 for" horse and disease" strangles and. www.thehorse.com/ 0698/ forum.html- Show matches( Cache)- 9k- Similar pages. The Horse Interactive-- Features, December 1998: Upfront( News and. www.thehorse.com/ 1298/ upfront.html- Show matches( Cache)- 52k- Similar pages. www.horse-previews.com/ 1198articles/ 1198vetcorner.html- Show matches( Cache)- 8k- Similar pages. www.br.cc.va.us/ vettech/ eqdis.htm- Show matches( Cache)- 26k- Similar pages. EquineCanada Magazine- Fall 99- Disease Watch- Leptospirosis. of Horses Job Track Disease Watch Canadian Horse Industry Profile. www.kkreate.com/ mtra/ may96.htm- Show matches( Cache)- 4k- Similar pages. The Equestrian Center- Horse Vacations The Equestrian Center- Feed,. online96.com/ horses/ feed.html- Show matches( Cache)- 52k- Similar pages. www.uky.edu/ Agriculture/ VetScience/ q_ apr00/ q_ main.htm- Show matches( Cache)- 30k- Similar pages. www.uky.edu/ Agriculture/ VetScience/ q_ july97/ q_ jul97.htm- Show matches( Cache)- 24k- Similar pages. www.hoovedrescue.org/ basic.htm- Show matches( Cache)- 16k- Similar pages.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Genetic marker analysis of feral horses( Apr 98). USDA funds genome project( Jul 98). Equine Genome Project( Apr 00). Equine cryptosporidiosis- An emerging problem?( Apr 95). Equine ophthalmology: Corneal injuries( Jul 94). A portrait of the pathogenesis of equine herpesvirus abortion( Oct 98). The carrier stallion as a reservoir of Equine Arteritis Virus( Oct 97). Serology of Streptococcus equi infection: Uses and limitations( Apr 97). Weighing Young Horses to Assess Quality and Quantity of Growth( Jul 99).
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Memorable Moments from Great Movies! Great Moments and Scenes from Memorable Movies! Great Lines and Quotes from the Movies! Great Movies with Great Dialogue! Great Stars and Great Characters in Great Moments from Great Movies!. Ben-Hur( 1959) is MGM's three and a half hour epic blockbuster, a Biblical tale, subtitled A Tale of the Christ. Director William Wyler's film was a remake of the spectacular 1926 silent film of the same name by the same studio. The 1926 version cost$ 4 million, and starred silent screen idols Ramon Novarro and Francis X. The heroic figure of Charlton Heston, who had made another 50's epoch Biblical tale- Paramount's successful The Ten Commandments( 1956) directed by Cecil B. Ben-Hur proved to be an intelligent, exciting, and dramatic piece of film-making unlike so many other vulgar Biblical pageants with Hollywood actors and actresses. It was nominated for twelve Academy Awards, Best Picture, Best Actor( Charlton Heston- his sole career Oscar), Best Supporting Actor( Hugh Griffith), Best Director(. Pontius Pilate commends him for" a great victory. Permit us to worship." Pontius tells Ben-Hur:" I will send for you. On his bloody death bed in a room beneath the coliseum, Messala has sent for Ben-Hur, delaying an operation to amputate his legs that will attempt to save his life." Visited by Ben-Hur, the unrepentant Messala honors him:. Messala:( vengefully) Look for them in the Valley of the Lepers, if you can recognize them. He dies gloating at Judah's horror, exacting some revenge for his humiliating defeat." He discovers Esther with Malluch delivering food for Miriam and Tirzah. He weeps when he hears Miriam ask Esther:" Is he happy?" Esther assures Miriam:" Yes, he is well. When they have left, Esther advises him:" You can go back...They have one blessing left. The film moves from the action of the previous scenes to sequences of religious mysticism. On his way back to Jerusalem, Ben-Hur and Esther meet Balthazar on the outskirts of a large crowd gathering to listen to a saintly preacher( called" the son of God") in the Sermon on the Mount. Ben-Hur doesn't realize this was the carpenter who brought him water at Nazareth many years earlier when he was a slave. With bitterness in his heart, Ben-Hur ignores the Sermon and goes on his own way, claiming he has" business with Rome. Pontius Pilate: Where there is greatness, great government or power, even great feeling or compassion, error also is great. But Rome has said she is ready to join your life to hers in a great future...not to crucify yourself on a shadow such as old resentment or impossible loyalties. Pontius Pilate: I become the hand of Caesar, ready to crush all those who challenge his authority. Judah( snapping back): Children of God! In that dead valley where we left them? I tell you, every man in Judea is unclean and will stay unclean until we've scoured off our bodies the crust and filth of being at the mercy of tyranny. At the Valley of the Lepers, Esther tells Miriam that she is impressed by the preacher's words and miracles, and wishes Miriam and Tirzah to accompany her to see the new preacher in Jerusalem. Ben-Hur rushes forward despite his mother's protests. Seeing Esther's faith in Jesus of Nazareth's message:" Life is everlasting. Pontius Pilate condemns him and two other common criminals to death, washing his hands afterwards. Jesus is paraded through the streets- he struggles through the crowd, carrying a heavy cross on his back, ready to be crucified and put to death. Judah follows along behind, and as the carpenter once gave Ben-Hur water in Nazareth, so does Ben-Hur offer the agonized King of the Jews water when he falls again. With hundreds of others, including Balthazar, Judah witnesses The King of the Jews being nailed to a cross and the agonizing crucifixion. Ben-Hur asks Balthazar:" What has he done to merit this?" Balthazar explains:" He has taken the world of our sins unto himself. In the grand and moving apocalyptic finale of the film, Miriam, Tirzah, and Esther are walking back to the Valley of the Lepers. Miriam and Tirzah have been transformed by their experience:. A strange darkness covers everything and a deafening rumbling is heard when Jesus life ends. The blood from the cross, flowing from a supreme act of love, joins with the runoff from the rain and is gradually dispersed- a new beginning is signalled. He describes the crucifixion experience to her, transfixed:" Almost at the moment he died, I heard him say it, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'...Even then.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Strangles is a bacterial disease and can be effectively treated in its early stages with penicillin, however once abscesses have started to develop in the glands under the jawbone treatment with antibiotics is less effective and is in some cases contraindicated. Only in very advanced cases will swellings between the jawbones( towards the throat) be found. The disease is highly infectious and is spread via droplets from the nose when the affected animal coughs. A horse can only be infected with Strangles once, there after it will develop a strong immunity. Should you have a case of Strangles prompt Veterinary treatment will usually cure it within two to three days, however recovery takes much longer where abscesses have been permitted to develop. Return to Equine page:- Equine services.htm.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Macbeth Word Frequency, Alphabetic. Back to English Department Home Page. Back to English Department CourseLinks. Internet Explorer sometimes gives up formatting these long lists and just piles the words on top of each other...use your" View Source" command to get the list. to Nisus Writer, for its powerful grep search tools, without which stripping the plays of non-spoken text would be insupportable drudgery. Welcome| Curriculum| Activities. Library| Administration| Services| People| Help. www.mta.link75.org/ curriculum/ english/ shake/ macalpha.html.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
AltaVista- Web Results. Search Live! Shopping Raging Bull Free Internet Access Email. Language: any language English Chinese Czech Danish Dutch Estonian Finnish French German Greek Hebrew Hungarian Icelandic Italian Japanese Korean Latvian Lithuanian Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish. URL: www.dpi.qld.gov.au/ dpinotes/ animals/ workanimals/ b94103.html. Ben-Hur( 1959) Memorable Moments from Great Movies! Great Moments and Scenes from Memorable Movies! Great Lines and Quotes from the Movies! Great. Last modified on: 21-Jan-2000- 39K bytes- in English( Win-1252). URL: www.insidetheweb.com/ messageboard/ mbs.cgi/ mb11110. Laryngeal Spray- Spray Laríngeo: equine sports respiratory diseases solution. Laryngeal spray: unique treatment for sports equines in training. It heals respiratory diseases in three days, without interrupting the sporting. Macrothesaurus the premier internet directory for the business executive and the professional researcher. Last modified on: 20-Apr-2000- 6K bytes- in English( Win-1252). word count: strangles: 12022; horse: 6228543; disease: 10010508. Linguistic technology by 2 40 Teragram Corporation. Rewards| Shopping| Money| News| Sports| Travel| Careers. Health| Entertainment| World| Women| Real Estate| Local| Tech| Law. About AltaVista| Help| Contact Us| Advertise With Us| Affiliate Network. Business Solutions| Job Openings| Press Room| Terms of Use| A CMGI Company. AltaVista( R) is a registered trademark and Smart is Beautiful and the AltaVista logo are trademarks of AltaVista Company. Privacy Policy| Support FreeIM.org.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Search for:"+" strangles"". Free Internet Access- Find it- Talk about it- Shop for it. Search within these results. This site has a continuing array of professional material on every aspect of equine medicine, reproduction, nutrition, farriery, alternative medicine, equine research, animal. Livestock Library- Horse Section- Horse Resources Additional Lists Equine Bits And Pieces- Australia Equine Directory- Acme Pet Company Equine Info Equinet Equiweb[ added January 11, 2000] Equiworld.net Horse. This section is a repository for horse health care information, organized by subject. Eastern Eqine Encephalitis- Eastern equine encephalitis is a viral disease that attacks the central nervous system of horses. The Horse Interactive-- Features, May 1997: Strangles- KNOWLEDGE BANK HOME Knowledge Bank: Deadly Diseases THE SCOOP ESSENTIAL HORSE THI HOME May 1997 Strangles By Michael A. Horse health- vaccination against tetanus and strangles( Agfact A6.9.3)- Horse health vaccination against tetanus and strangles Agfact A6.9.3 Electronic edition 1999Revised by Rod Hoare Veterinary Officer Division of Animal Industries Introduction Prevention Tetanus Vacci. DPI Notes- Working Animals- Strangles in the horse- Strangles in the HorseR.E. Nieper, formerly Animal Health Bureau Information contained in this publication is provided as general advice only. Strangles Information Page- The Australian Vaccine Specialist Equivac ® Strangles Information Page Index Cause Signs Epidemiology Immunity Treatment Control Questions& Answers Why vaccinate? Does the vaccine provide 100% protec. Animal health equine strangles- EQUINE Strangles The number of strangles outbreaks in the UK has increased in recent years and particular care must be taken to ensure that animals do not become disease and pass the infection on to o. Horse Disease Surveillance Report- HORSE DISEASE SURVEILLANCE REPORT May 26, 1999 Dr. Bob Wright, Veterinary Scientist, Equine and Alternative Livestock, OMAFRA, Fergus Copyright March, 1999. Horse Disease Surveillance Report- Horse Disease Surveillance Report, Fall 1999 October 1999 Dr. Bob Wright, Veterinary Scientist, Equine and Alternative Livestock Copyright October 1999. AnimalForum.com: Prevention and treatment of strangles- Strangles By Jennifer Kunz, AnimalForum.com staff Strangles is the common term used for the condition caused by the Streptococcus equi bacterium. Strangles- OHAHS Health FAQ Controlling Strangles What is strangles? Strangles is a worldwide disease of horses, ponies and donkeys reported as commonly as any other infection of horses Caused by the bacterium. Equine Diseases: Strangles- Strangles Insidious, infectious, and inconvenient by Claudia True, D.V.M. Second opinion? Try searching for"++" strangles"" at. Topics Shopping Computers Entertainment Finance Games Kids Music Small Business Sports Travel. Find Auctions Chat Clubs Ecards Email Free ISP FTP MP3 Maps People Stocks Yellow Pages More.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Study Guide for William Gibson: Neuromancer( 1984). Study Guide for William Gibson: Neuromancer( 1984). Doing research on science fiction? Check out the Science Fiction Research Bibliography. See also Literature, Cyberpunk Sci-Fi, Cyberspace, Critical Theory: An Overview Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 9, Chapter10, Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23 Coda. When Neuromancer by William Gibson was first published it created a sensation. Or perhaps it would be more precise to say that it was used to create a sensation, for Bruce Sterling and other Gibson associates declared that a new kind of science fiction had appeared which rendered merely ordinary SF obsolete. Informed by the amoral urban rage of the punk subculture and depicting the developing human-machine interface created by the widespread use of computers and computer networks, set in the near future in decayed city landscapes like those portrayed in the film Blade Runner it claimed to be the voice of a new generation. ( Interestingly, Gibson himself has said he had finished much of what was to be his body of early cyberpunk fiction before ever seeing Blade Runner. Of course by the time symposia were being held on the subject, writers declared cyberpunk dead, yet the stuff kept being published and it continues to be published today by writers like K. Its narrative techniques, many critics pointed out, were positively reactionary compared to the experimentalism of mid-60s" new wave" SF. Burroughs' quasi-SF novels like Nova Express,( 1964), and the voice of Gibson's narrator sounded oddly like a slightly updated version of old Raymond Chandler novels like The Big Sleep,( 1939). Others pointed out that almost all of cyberpunk's characteristics could be found in the works of older writers such as J. Most damning of all, it didn't seem to have been claimed by the generation it claimed to represent. Real punks did little reading, and the vast majority of young SF readers preferred to stick with traditional storytellers such as Larry Niven, Anne McCaffrey and even Robert Heinlein. Gibson's prose was too dense and tangled for casual readers, so it is not surprising that he gained more of a following among academics than among the sort of people it depicted. Tolkien, like" Shadowfax"( a new-age music group)," Gandalf"( a brand of computer data switch), and" Moria";( an early fantasy computer game), today there is a proliferation of references to Neuromancer:" Meat Puppets" is a rock group, there was a computer virus called" Screaming Fist," the Internet is commonly referred to as" Cyberspace" or--occasionally" the Matrix," and there are several World Wide Web sites are named" Wintermute."; Gibson produced his vision in a time when many people were becoming haunted by the idea of urban decay, crime rampant, corruption everywhere. Just as readers of the 50s looked obsessively for signs that Orwell's Nineteen-Eighty-Four was coming true, some readers keep an eye out for the emergence of cyberpunk's nightmare world in contemporary reality. The vision of Neuromancer was too confining for a writer of Gibson's originality, and after a couple of sequels( Count Zero and Mona Lisa Overdrive)--he turned to other experiments, such as his" steampunk" collaboration with Bruce Sterling: The Difference Engine, depicting an alternative Victorian Age in which huge, steam-driven computers were developed. In 1994 he returned to Cyberpunk with Virtual Light and in 1995 published another novel set in Japan, Idoru. For generations it had been on the margins of our imagination: as the exotic land of cherry blossoms and geishas, later as the war machine sending out kamikaze bomber pilots in World War II, and later still as the source of every sort of cheap, shoddy, imitative gadget. Japan industrialized not long after northern Europe, and Western influences had been strong for centuries. Japan suddenly became perceived as the cutting edge of modernity. Not that the new image was any more profound or less stereotyped, but it was certainly different. " Case," the name of the protagonist, could suggest detective fiction, or it could suggest technology. The persistent cyberpunk obsession with the mixture of flesh( called" meat" in the novel) and machinery is introduced through Ratz's stainless steel teeth--unnatural looking but commonplace in Communist Eastern Europe. Why is it significant that Ratz is ugly? Ratz reaction to the unexpected moment of silence is an old cliché, but startlingly incongruous in this setting. Case's addiction to cyberspace is certainly prophetic; someone half-jokingly set up a Usenet support group for victims of cyberspace addiction:( alt.usenet.recovery). How is a cyberspace cowboy similar to a traditional cowboy? Different? Case is a classic illegal hacker; but his present dilemma is caused by a classic crime-novel situation, a crook attempting to skim the proceeds from organized crime. Presumably the Russians developed the mycotoxin( fungal poison) as a chemical warfare weapon. It has blocked his ability to experience cyberspace. Why has he come to Japan? What evidence of pollution is contained in the paragraph beginning" Now he slept"?" Arcologies" are huge, self-contained cities enclosed in a single building, imagined by Paolo Soleri. What characteristics make Case an anti-hero? What does he do for a living? The possibility of an underground market for body parts has been around since organ transplants became commonplace and has often been treated in SF. Where had he first met Linda Lee? Repeated references to war in Europe suggest it has been devastated in the recent past, probably by nuclear weapons. " Pachinko" is a very popular kind of Japanese gambling machine vaguely like vertically-oriented pinball. " French orbital fatigues" would be the uniform worn by French astronauts in orbit. " Sarariman" is the Japanese word for a businessman employed by a large corporation, formed on the English words" salary" and" man. genetic engineering firm Genentech? Although the computer images in the novel have had more impact, the biological ones are almost as important. A VTR is presumably a" videotape recorder," a" simstim" deck is a kind of virtual reality machine to simulate stimuli, Manriki chains and shuriken( sharp-pointed steel stars) are both familiar weapons from ninja movies. Can you guess why the wearing of glasses would be an affectation rather than something normal in this society? The pioneering Russian abstract painter Wassily Kandinsky specialized in shapeless blobs, lines, and smears in bright colors. Salvador Dali frequently depicted" melted" watches and clocks( for example," The Persistence of Memory," 1931). Julius Deane uses expressions(" boyo,"" old son") which indicate a British background. In the paragraph beginning" The cultivation of a certain tame paranoia" he sees in a display window an elaborate alternative to a pocket watch. Even now it is common for Japanese to wear surgical masks in public in an attempt to filter out the pollution, and gasps of pure oxygen can be had from streetside vending machines. Such femme fatale assassins are a mainstay of modern futuristic fiction. Do they represent women's liberation? What is her characteristic implant?. In the operation called" Screaming Fist"( a typical karate film title) a team had been hired to destroy a Russian computer network(" nexus") in Kirensk with a virus, but Armitage failed and was caught. What does" ICE" stand for? What is an" icebreaker?" Note how computers have altered the economy. Samurai originated as the faithful defenders of feudal lords during the Kamakura period, but as Japan fell into disorder, many of them roamed the country as" hired swords" and as such are one of the most popular subjects for Japanese fiction, drama, and film. " Ninjas" are a related group who tend to have a worse reputation, though they could be just as honorable as samurai. Endorphins are natural chemicals which provide pleasurable feelings and suppress pain. If Case has been injected with" endorphin inhibitors," clearly his tormentors have been trying to make him feel as much pain as possible. Note that his surgery was carried out mostly without incisions. To what is the sex Case experiences with Molly compared? Note how Molly is presented as dominant, highly competent, and--most important--better informed than Case. What is Case trying to find out from Deane? Note how" Watergated" has become a verb, evidently meaning that the" Screaming Fist" conspiracy proliferated in many directions. Nuclear bombs detonated at certain altitudes with certain characteristics can destroy electrical circuits, effectively destroying the enemy's defenses. Arpanet, the ancestor of the Internet was first constructed in an attempt to work around this problem. Screaming Fist was a turkey shoot because the Soviet military had been informed in advance that it was coming. What is the entertainment like at Sammi's arena? Why was Linda Lee killed? Note the recurring question:" Who is behind all this?" This question characterizes this sort of paranoid conspiratorial fiction. corridor is often discussed as an evolving megapolis." Note that the map described on the first page of this chapter depicts not population density, but the frequency of the exchange of data: the new definition of civilization. A powerful electrical charge turns the rails into electromagnets which actually lift the train above them a fraction of an inch, reducing friction essentially to zero and allowing for great speed at a low expenditure of energy. New York is enclosed by a dome, but typically Gibson introduces this fact by observing its malfunctioning: a freak wind blowing a piece of newspaper along the street. Finn has been mentioned earlier as the member of the" Screaming Fist" team who escaped from the Russians in a stolen helicopter. " Dixie Flatline's construct" is an electronic recording of the mind of a dead" cowboy"( free-lance hacker specializing in penetrating computer security systems) whose actual name was McCoy Pauley. His nickname suggests death( alluding to a flat line on an intensive-care room monitor) because he experienced brain death three times. How does Gibson justify providing his" info-dump" explaining the origin of the matrix?" Dermatrodes" would be electrodes which attach to the epidermis, or skin. " Spiral arms" alludes the arms of distant galaxies, unreachable by any current technology. The idea of a computer or network in which one can experience virtual reality has been around in fiction for a long time, but was first popularized in the movie Tron( 1982)." The sockets implanted in people's heads were to become a standard feature of cyberpunk. " Softs"= software; the word is an abbreviation for" microsoft," an obvious allusion to the giant software corporation. The Hosaka computer can function somewhat like the computer on the Starship Enterprise: query it vocally and it will tell you what it knows. Rambali alludes to the fact that terrorists depend on the news media to publicize their causes, but the media concentrate so exclusively on their acts of terror that the message they are trying to convey is usually suppressed. How have the Panther Moderns short-circuited this process?" Panther" is short for the Black Panther movement of the sixties and early seventies which advocated violent resistance to racism. " Big Science" is a term for large, expensive research projects such as the Human Genome Project or the recently-cancelled Superconducting Supercollider; but the name here probably alludes to the title of a Laurie Anderson CD. Anderson's fusion of live theater and technology is very suggestive of the kind of environment in which Neuromancer is set. Molly is trying to penetrate the Sense/ Net headquarters in Atlanta to steal the Dixie Flatline construct, assisted remotely by Case interfering with Sense/ Net's security software, the two of them linked by the broadcast network created and run by the Panther Moderns. Why do you think Gibson chose Atlanta as media headquarters? A" blackbox" is any kind of illicit electronic device which can bypass normal circuits: the original permitted its users to make long-distance phone calls without paying for them. Strobe lights are known to induce seizures in certain people when pulsed at precisely the right frequency. How do the Panther Moderns terrorize the people in the Sense/ Net building? Computer viruses are written mostly to do simple kinds of mischief today; but in the novel viruses are tools which can penetrate secure computers, retrieve information, and cover their traces. Who, featuring an unnamed hero usually alluded to only as" Doctor. Why is Molly able to dissect her crab" with alarming ease?" What is" jive" and what is its function in this environment? Artificial Intelligence(" AI") is a much-discussed concept which would involve the creation of a complex computer system which would replicate the functions of a human brain. Debates rage about whether such a construct would possess consciousness, but research goes on toward developing AI. The tip that Wintermute is involved leads them to its parent corporation: Tessier-Ashpool S. " The gravity well" is a concept describing the difficulty of getting objects and people off the earth's surface into orbit, where space colonies have been built. Cyberpunk seldom depicts travel to other worlds, but takes high-orbit space colonies for granted. Explain why it is" hard to keep track of what generation, or combination of generations" is running Tesssier-Ashpool at any time? What does the slogan" Travel was a meat thing" mean? What does a" joeboy" seem to be?." What does" Watergating" seem to mean in this context? How was he used by the military? How is Armitage another variation on the machine/ human interface theme? How does the pattern of Armitage's record suggest that he, like Case, is just a hireling and not an integral part of whatever force is behind this mission?. Why does the Mercedes talk to its passengers as it takes them into Istanbul? What is the significance of the existence of letter-writers? How many different kinds of mutual distrust can you find in this chapter among the various characters? Riviera has had an implant which allows him to project onto the retinas of his victims whatever he chooses--far-fetched, but not so unscientific as mental telepathy. According to Case and Molly, who is probably responsible for rebuilding" Armitage" and sending him on this mission? Alan Turing, a pioneer theoretician of machine intelligence, suggested that a computer might be made indistinguishable from a human being. The" Turing heat" would therefore be police assigned the task of preventing computers from reaching improper levels of intelligence and power. " Shopping politicals"= betraying dissidents. Freeside is called" an orbital Geneva" in relation to that city's emphasis on offering secret bank accounts which are very attractive to those involved in illegal transactions. What subliminal image does Riviera project to Case to symbolize his opinion of Molly? Since they are taking a Japan Air Lines shuttle from Paris to the orbital station called" Freeside" it is natural that koto music is playing the background. Rastafarianism is a movement that originated in the 1930s in Jamaica, which involves the hairstyle called" dreadlocks," the hope for blacks to return to Ethiopia( identified with the Biblical Zion),.reggae music, and the smoking of ganja( marijuana). It was inspired in part by the movement founded by Marcus Garvey, who tried to purchase a fleet of ships( the" Black Star Line") to transport blacks back to Africa during the early 1920s. in particular as" Babylon," the demonic city of Christian apocalyptic writing. God is called" Jah," short for" Jahweh," which scholars think was the original pronunciation of the Hebrew name for God( though in the scholarship the" J" is pronounced as in German, as a" Y" sound). Without rotation, an orbiting space station is in free-fall, and this creates an apparently weightless environment familiar from televised orbital missions. The closer to the rim one is, the stronger the apparent gravity is; whereas at the center of rotation, freefall weightlessness prevails. What reveals that Dixie Flatline is in fact bothered by knowing that he is dead?" Rue[ Street] Jules Verne" is of course a tribute to the French grandfather of science fiction. The lyrics of the opening verse and refrain indicate why Molly's razor implants would remind the rastas of the song: If you wanna live. Gibson has no hesitation about using rather dated slang in his narrative mixed with futuristic locutions. The description of the plants tumbling over the balconies of Freeside strongly suggests traditional images of the Hanging Garden of Babylon. " Vigntième Siecle" is French for" Twentieth Century," now a" period. Why does Peter Riviera's show upset Case so much? Of the expensive shops, Gucci is Italian, Tsuyako is Japanese, Hermès is French, and Liberty is English. What does Case learn about Linda from Wintermute in this chapter? Wintermute seems to be behaving like an old-fashioned melodrama villain: manipulating the protagonist by endangering the woman he cares about. The girl in Case's cubicle is a" meat puppet," a prostitute who has had her conscious mind artificially disconnected from her body by a" neural cutout" so that she can carry out her duties on" automatic pilot." Why was Molly so furious at Riviera's sadistic fantasy performance?" Snuff" refers to film or performances involving the killing of women for the sexual pleasure of sadists. Snuff films have a long-standing status as an urban legend--nobody has ever found an authentic commercial example--but they are commonly cited as the quintessence of pornography. Origami( traditional Japanese paper-folding) cranes have come to be symbols of peace because of their association with the anti-nuclear bomb campaigns in Japan. What do you think is the significance of Cathy's crane? Examine the metaphors in the paragraph describe the Case's sensations when the drug hits; can you see any pattern in them? What do they have in common? Why is the zodiac on Freeside referred to as a" loser's" zodiac? Cath had hoped to seduce Case with this drug. What goes wrong with her plan? What is Case's attitude toward his anger the next morning?" Turing"=" Turing police," defined above. Case's surgical implant procedure, evidently designed by Wintermute, was so innovative it enabled the illegal clinic in Chiba City to capitalize on the knowledge involved to get rich. How has this fact led to Case's arrest? Why does Michèle say that Case has no" care" for his species? Why will it be difficult for Sense/ Net to protest the destruction of the Dixie Flatline construct? Since both the pilot of the biplane and the gardening robot have struck, to whom is Case speaking in the last lines of this chapter?. When Case loads the Chinese icebreaker software, Dixie Flatline observes from outside it that it appears invisible--reassuring for the team. Dixie's description of the way the virus works is a well-written example of SF pseudo-science talk: a set of metaphors that make a kind of sense without any real technical explanation. When Case finds himself facing what appears to be the Finn back in Metro Holografix, who is he really talking to? For the reference to the burning bush, see Exodus 3: 2-6. An old philosophical puzzle asks," If a tree falls in the forest where there's no one to hear it, does it make a sound?" How is Wintermute able to recreate people and places Case knows? In what sense is the imaginary vacuum tube part of Wintermute's DNA? What threat does Wintermute claim to want to protect humanity from? A" folly" is the sort of fantastic architectural construction built in late 18th-century England to suggest medieval or classical ruins. When he reestablishes simstim contact with Molly, Wintermute informs her of the connection on her implanted ocular display which normally acts as a digital clock. What is a" stash" as Molly defines it? Molly's story about Johnny reveals that she and Case have something important in common. What is it? Why do you think the ordinarily very private Molly is telling him this story?" Fancy dress" is British for costumes of the sort one would wear to a costume party. Note how compact discs, invented shortly before this novel was written, are treated here as antique technology. What is the symbolism involved in the rerouting of Molly's tearducts? The Egyptian Pharaohs had their servants killed and buried with them. Ashpool has been in a sort of suspended animation for the last thirty years, forever on the brink of death but never dying, an idea that was earlier explored in Philip K.) What is suggested by the fact that a fiberoptic cable is connected to her neck? The theme of a rich, self-indulgent family, fallen into decadent madness, is a cliché of popular fiction, and can be found in Gibson's model, Raymond Chandler. What does Molly like about her relationship with Case? His computer completes the search Case had directed it to make for the name" General Girling" and the result is displayed by Dixie Flatline on Molly's optic implant since Case is jacked into her brain at present. We learn why Riviera was important, to seduce 3Jane into giving up some of the secrets of how to penetrate Straylight to Armitage/ Corto. Why is Case so upset about Armitage falling apart? The maddened Armitage/ Corto has not only killed a man in order to destroy one of the computers being used on the run, but he has set the escape pod that he is in to separate from the ship without closing its seals; he imagines he is escaping Russia for Finland, but in fact he is hurled into the vacuum of space. What makes the Tessier-Ashpool corporation more vulnerable than the zaibatsus? Who is ultimately behind the deaths of Armitage and Ashpool? What motivates Dixie Flatline to work for Wintermute? The way the books in the Straylight library are described suggests that books are antique rarities. The Dada artist Marcel Duchamp created a large sculpture out of glass and paint depicting some chocolate-grinding machinery and molds and gave it the characteristically surrealistic title" La mariée mis à nu par ses célibataires, même"-- The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors, Even. Run Run Shaw owned one of the busiest film studios in the world in Hong Kong, churning out hundreds of martial arts films for distribution throughout Asia. Riviera encases Molly's hands in a variation of old paper" Chinese handcuffs": the more you struggle, the tighter you're trapped. As in classic hardboiled detective fiction( like The Maltese Falcon), the lines of alliance are constantly shifting, and you never know whom you can trust. Cray manufactures the world's most popular supercomputers. Why has Riviera decided to ally himself with 3Jane against the team? Chairman Mao Tse Tung's most famous saying was" Power comes out of the barrel of a gun. With Molly crippled, Case and Maelcum have to penetrate Villa Straylight themselves to complete the mission, and to rescue her. How do the life-support systems of the Villa Straylight symbolize the role of the corporation itself? What does" decanted" usually mean?( Look it up.) What does it mean when 3Jane says" I was decanted?" Why does she use the present tense when she says" He strangles her in bed?" 3Jane's mother's idea of blending the family with artificial intelligences to achieve a sort of immortality is an old SF theme. When Case next jacks in, he is sent by Neuromancer back to Lady Marie-France Tessier's recorded memory of a summer in Morocco, where she isolated herself in the bunker that Case moves into with the simulacrum of Linda Lee. Japanese Zen gardens consist of a few well-placed rocks and sand raked in elaborate patterns. What is the point of Case's complaint about the food? The tan Case has acquired on Freeside is an expensive luxury. What is Linda's reaction to it? When Case feels himself drawn down to the" meat" level by the projection of Linda Lee, he defines the latter in terms of information: spiral DNA molecules and pheromones, molecules which convey messages through smell. The name" Neuromancer" is a variation on" necromancer," a magician dealing in evil spirits and death(" neuro"= nerves, artificial intelligence," mancer"= magician). The Coriolis force, which causes movement to deviate slightly from a straight line on rotating bodies( like the Earth) is exaggerated in the rapidly spinning spindle. Case thinks 3Jane may spare Molly because he has experienced the latter's attraction to her through the simstim rig. Why does Riviera's blinding of Hideo fail to defeat him? How has Molly gotten her revenge on Riviera? In an electronic world, old-fashioned mechanical locks are unexpected obstacles. In what ways is Neuromancer different from Wintermute? How are the dwarfs quarters in the palace of the Duke of Mantua like the Villa Straylight for the Tessier-Ashpools? Case needs to energize himself with hate to succeed in breaking through the final barriers. What does Case think it symbolizes? Why did Wintermute want to fuse with Neuromancer? What does this metaphor represent:" a series of warm blinks strung along a chain of winter"? Alpha Centauri is the nearest star to Earth. So what does it mean that Wintermute/ Neuromancer has found recorded evidence of another AI there? Michael or Mikal is not a really rare name for a woman; so it's difficult to know if we are supposed to read anything into the name. Why do you think male authors so frequently imagine highly desirable but dangerous women like Molly who get devastatingly involved with their protagonists and then leave?. Notes by Paul Brians, Department of English, Washington State University, Pullman 99164-5020.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Re: Strangles Outbreak. Re: Strangles Outbreak. [ Follow Ups][ Post Followup][ The Michigan Horse Connection][ FAQ]. All new horses brought to board are required to show proof of vaccinations, including strangles, and a current coggins. The vaccine cannot guarantee that your barn won't get strangles, but it reduces the severity of the outbreak and tends to offer some protection against it spreading. All new horses brought to board are required to show proof of vaccinations, including strangles, and a current coggins. The vaccine cannot guarantee that your barn won't get strangles, but it reduces the severity of the outbreak and tends to offer some protection against it spreading. [ Follow Ups][ Post Followup][ The Michigan Horse Connection][ FAQ].
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
AltaVista- Web Results. Search Live! Shopping Raging Bull Free Internet Access Email. Language: any language English Chinese Czech Danish Dutch Estonian Finnish French German Greek Hebrew Hungarian Icelandic Italian Japanese Korean Latvian Lithuanian Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish. URL: www.dpi.qld.gov.au/ dpinotes/ animals/ workanimals/ b94103.html. Ben-Hur( 1959) Memorable Moments from Great Movies! Great Moments and Scenes from Memorable Movies! Great Lines and Quotes from the Movies! Great. Last modified on: 21-Jan-2000- 39K bytes- in English( Win-1252). URL: www.insidetheweb.com/ messageboard/ mbs.cgi/ mb11110. Laryngeal Spray- Spray Laríngeo: equine sports respiratory diseases solution. Laryngeal spray: unique treatment for sports equines in training. It heals respiratory diseases in three days, without interrupting the sporting. Macrothesaurus the premier internet directory for the business executive and the professional researcher. Last modified on: 20-Apr-2000- 6K bytes- in English( Win-1252). word count: strangles: 12022; horse: 6228543; disease: 10010508. Linguistic technology by 2 40 Teragram Corporation. Rewards| Shopping| Money| News| Sports| Travel| Careers. Health| Entertainment| World| Women| Real Estate| Local| Tech| Law. About AltaVista| Help| Contact Us| Advertise With Us| Affiliate Network. Business Solutions| Job Openings| Press Room| Terms of Use| A CMGI Company. AltaVista( R) is a registered trademark and Smart is Beautiful and the AltaVista logo are trademarks of AltaVista Company. Privacy Policy| Support FreeIM.org.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Search for:"+" strangles"". Free Internet Access- Find it- Talk about it- Shop for it. Search within these results. This site has a continuing array of professional material on every aspect of equine medicine, reproduction, nutrition, farriery, alternative medicine, equine research, animal. Livestock Library- Horse Section- Horse Resources Additional Lists Equine Bits And Pieces- Australia Equine Directory- Acme Pet Company Equine Info Equinet Equiweb[ added January 11, 2000] Equiworld.net Horse. This section is a repository for horse health care information, organized by subject. Eastern Eqine Encephalitis- Eastern equine encephalitis is a viral disease that attacks the central nervous system of horses. The Horse Interactive-- Features, May 1997: Strangles- KNOWLEDGE BANK HOME Knowledge Bank: Deadly Diseases THE SCOOP ESSENTIAL HORSE THI HOME May 1997 Strangles By Michael A. Horse health- vaccination against tetanus and strangles( Agfact A6.9.3)- Horse health vaccination against tetanus and strangles Agfact A6.9.3 Electronic edition 1999Revised by Rod Hoare Veterinary Officer Division of Animal Industries Introduction Prevention Tetanus Vacci. DPI Notes- Working Animals- Strangles in the horse- Strangles in the HorseR.E. Nieper, formerly Animal Health Bureau Information contained in this publication is provided as general advice only. Strangles Information Page- The Australian Vaccine Specialist Equivac ® Strangles Information Page Index Cause Signs Epidemiology Immunity Treatment Control Questions& Answers Why vaccinate? Does the vaccine provide 100% protec. Animal health equine strangles- EQUINE Strangles The number of strangles outbreaks in the UK has increased in recent years and particular care must be taken to ensure that animals do not become disease and pass the infection on to o. Horse Disease Surveillance Report- HORSE DISEASE SURVEILLANCE REPORT May 26, 1999 Dr. Bob Wright, Veterinary Scientist, Equine and Alternative Livestock, OMAFRA, Fergus Copyright March, 1999. Horse Disease Surveillance Report- Horse Disease Surveillance Report, Fall 1999 October 1999 Dr. Bob Wright, Veterinary Scientist, Equine and Alternative Livestock Copyright October 1999. AnimalForum.com: Prevention and treatment of strangles- Strangles By Jennifer Kunz, AnimalForum.com staff Strangles is the common term used for the condition caused by the Streptococcus equi bacterium. Strangles- OHAHS Health FAQ Controlling Strangles What is strangles? Strangles is a worldwide disease of horses, ponies and donkeys reported as commonly as any other infection of horses Caused by the bacterium. Equine Diseases: Strangles- Strangles Insidious, infectious, and inconvenient by Claudia True, D.V.M. Second opinion? Try searching for"++" strangles"" at. Topics Shopping Computers Entertainment Finance Games Kids Music Small Business Sports Travel. Find Auctions Chat Clubs Ecards Email Free ISP FTP MP3 Maps People Stocks Yellow Pages More.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
The Horse Interactive-- Features, December 1998: Upfront( News and Notes). ESSENTIAL HORSE HOME. KNOWLEDGE BANK. President Signs Legislation For Livestock Research Funding. Portable Lung Function Test Could Be A Breakthrough For Performance Horses. President Signs Legislation For Livestock Research Funding. President Clinton signed the fiscal year 1999 Omnibus Appropriations Bill which allocates several million dollars for equine research on Oct. $ 3.5 million has been allocated to the Agricultural Research Service( ARS) and Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service's( APHIS) Research Laboratory Modernization. The monies will go for general maintenance and continued modernization of the ARS foreign animal disease laboratory at Plum Island, New York. $ 3.1 million has been allocated for the study of infectious diseases. While the money is for livestock, not specifically equines, some of the research conducted will involve horses. $ 300, 000 has been allocated for the study of the CEM-like organism which was found in a donkey jack in California and a similar organism from two mares and another donkey jack in Kentucky earlier this year. $ 250, 000 has been allocated for research on CEM at the University of Kentucky. The allocation of these monies to animal research is essential in the prevention of, and the preparation of dealing with diseases that affect the equine industry. The much needed monies received for equine research come in a time when the amount of federal money made available for agricultural research, particularly animal health research, continues to be cut. The purpose of this research is to better understand and control diseases which affect livestock, which in turn, affect the whole spectrum of the horse industry. According to the American Horse Council," The animal health status of a nation is now the determining factor for facilitating trade of animals or animal products internationally. Regulatory controls are to be based on animal health science when determining the potential risk of importing animal disease associated with trade. The United States does not spend money on research and development in agriculture the way some other countries do. Portable Lung Function Test Could Be A Breakthrough For Performance Horses. The singular mission of the research by and clinical practice of Andrew Hoffman, DVM, DVSc, over the past three years has been to gather all that has been learned about the relationship between racehorse performance and pulmonary function and to figure out a relatively simple way for any veterinarian to diagnose airway problems. " For hundreds of years we have known that horses are allergic to a lot of things and develop a chronic asthma-like condition called chronic obstructive pulmonary disease( COPD)," said Hoffman, associate professor of medicine and director of the Issam Fares Equine Sports Medicine Program at Tufts University School of Veterinary Medicine. " Anyone who works with horses can recognize this clinically because the horse has difficulty breathing. Many of those horses...lacking overt clinical signs of pulmonary disease...also are experiencing performance problems on the track. Hoffman's research has focused on early detection of small airway disease so that it can be treated before the animal develops the more serious COPD. " We designed a system that compares the movement of the chest and abdomen to the kinetics of air movement in and out of the nose." To test the sensitivity of the horse's airways to allergen and dust, a histamine mist is delivered to the airways, and the sharpness of the response is measured. " But if you introduce histamine into the airways, you find that the horse with COPD reacts very quickly, and the signals for breathing effort and flow don't match up," he said. A very complex mathematical model is used to analyze the results, which are displayed quite simply. " Many owners will complain that their horses don't tolerate exercise well," Hoffman said," and it turns out that many of these animals are not intolerant to exercise, but they have small airway disease that impairs their ability to exchange gas--principally oxygen--in the lungs. About 15 years ago, a researcher in Canada found that these horses small airways were inflamed, even at rest--a condition similar to asthma in humans. Members of the re-established USDA Foreign Animal Disease Committee will serve for another two years advising the Secretary of Agriculture on actions and policies necessary to keep foreign diseases of livestock and poultry from being introduced into the United States. Members also give recommendations on contingency planning and maintaining a state of preparedness to deal with these exotic and emerging diseases, if introduced. Scientists at Louisiana State University have made an important breakthrough in equine reproduction with the birth of a horse conceived in the laboratory and implanted into a surrogate mother. The project was a cooperative effort between the LSU Agricultural Center and the LSU School of Veterinary Medicine. The Agriculture Research Center's Boyd Professor of Reproductive Physiology, Robert Godke, oversaw the research. Also on the project from the Agricultural Center were Research Associate Richard Denniston and graduate student Richard Cochran, who performed the intracytoplasmic sperm injection( ICSI), and Bruce Eilts, DVM, MS, Dipl. Scientists at LSU obtained the immature oocytes from pregnant mares by transvaginal ultrasound-guided aspiration. After maturing the oocytes in-vitro, researchers injected a single sperm collected from an Arabian stallion into the oocyte using micromanipulators. Scientists at Colorado State University produced a similar pregnancy two years ago using ICSI. ICSI also was used in Australia to produce two foals, born almost the same time as Sweet Pea, using oocytes that were matured in the mare. " The procedure allows a way for low-fertility mares and stallions to reproduce and to make use of genetically inferior quality mares as surrogates," Denniston said. Charles Issel, DVM, PhD, spoke about the implications of reservoirs of equine infectious anemia( EIA) at a seminar hosted by the University of Kentucky's Gluck Equine Research Center in Lexington. In the United States, 1.3 million horses are tested for EIA every year with the most common method of testing being the Coggins test. To detect reservoirs of EIA, a practical program needs to be implemented along with area-wide education programs addressing this disease. Issel suggested issuing health certificates for negative horses and placing positive horses under quarantine. Further, and perhaps the most important aspect of making sure a program of this sort works, is gaining the involvement of the equine industry, veterinarians, and industry leaders. The adult horses which tested positive were slaughtered, while the foals which tested positive were isolated and retested at a later date. The re-testing was performed because it's possible that the foals were positive due to the maternal antibodies they ingested from their EIA-positive dams. What was learned from this experience in the wild horses, Issel said, is that EIA was probably present in this area for 20 years, but it had not spread far. He noted that stallions were infected at a higher rate than the mares, and older horses( four years and older) tested positive much more frequently than younger horses. ( Go to www.thehorse.com/ 0898/ eia0898.html to view the article on EIA published in the August 1998 issue of The Horse. Nine horses tested positive for equine infectious anemia( EIA) antibodies in the Augsburg area of Bavaria, Germany, with one of the horses showing clinical signs of the disease, according to Johann Hofherr, DVM, of Germany's Ministry of Health, Department of Animal Health. All nine horses were euthanized to prevent the spread of this disease, which has not been reported in Germany for many years, he said. The index horse--the horse showing clinical signs of EIA--is thought to have originated in Eastern Europe. Now it is required that owners provide a negative Coggins test for any show or event in which the horse will be staying longer than one day. This precaution might be dropped if there are no further detections of EIA positive horses, according to Hofherr. The International Collating Center, Newmarket, and other sources provided the following information. Contagious equine metritis was reported from California among two Warmblood mares recently imported from Germany diagnosed during the post-arrival quarantine. The various clinical manifestations of equine herpesvirus infection were reported from several countries--the paralytic form from France, Ireland, and United Kingdom; abortions from Ireland, United Kingdom, and the USA; and respiratory disease outbreaks from France, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom. Twenty-one herpesvirus cases were diagnosed in Kentucky by the Diagnostic Laboratory in Lexington, considerably less than the numbers recorded during the two previous foaling seasons. Influenza virus was isolated from horses in France, racehorses in the United Kingdom, and a Standardbred racehorse in Kentucky. Strangles as usual was frequently reported, and an outbreak of Salmonella typhimurium was reported on a Thoroughbred farm in South Africa on pasture recently fertilized with chicken manure. Cases of vesicular stomatitis were reported from premises in the states of Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas; Colorado had positive cases in July. -- Equine Disease Quarterly, funded by Underwriters at Lloyd's of London, Brokers and their Kentucky agents. A five-month-old burro named Primrose got a leg up on life in the form of a prosthetic hind limb at Colorado State University after losing her leg to complications of being attacked by dogs. After surgery and weeks of medical care at Colorado State's Veterinary Teaching Hospital, the long-eared, waist-high, brown-coated Primrose got her new leg Aug. 31 under the supervision of Gayle Trotter, DVM, a Colorado State professor of clinical sciences who performed the amputation. With Trotter and the clinical staff looking on, prosthetics technician Theresa Conrath performed the fitting and tryout of the artificial limb. Wilson Fund of Detroit has committed$ 1.5 million to create the Matilda R. Wilson Equine Respiratory Disease Research Endowment in the College of Veterinary Medicine at Michigan State University. " The original gift from the Wilson Fund helped us to establish a program to understand the basic science of airway disease in the horse," said Robinson. " On the tenth anniversary of that gift, I'm happy to say that we've gained an extensive understanding of the role of nerves, smooth muscle, and the inflammatory response in disease of both the lower and upper airway. What has lagged is application of this new knowledge to improve the treatment of airway disease in the horse. " External funding agencies have been interested in supporting the basic science research, because the findings are also applicable to people," Robinson said. Their common aim is to improve diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of airway disease. He also is collaborating with researchers at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, who are world leaders in the study of leukotrienes. He and his colleagues previously have worked with 3M Animal Care to develop a device for the delivery of inhaled drugs to horses. The Pulmonary Lab team now wants to develop treatment protocols that couple use of inhaled drugs with practical recommendations for changes in management. The upper airway will not be neglected, and the lab team will continue to explore the cause of obstructive diseases of the throat such as soft palate displacement, Robinson said." Endowments of this kind bring funding stability and allow us to build nationally renowned programs that produce significant results year after year," said Frederik Derksen, DVM, chairperson of MSU's Department of Large Animal Clinical Sciences. Louisiana Encephalomyelitis. Veterinarians in southwest Louisiana had been advised to stay on the lookout for Eastern equine encephalomyelitis in horses( EEE). The Louisiana State Health Department put veterinarians in that part of state on alert because Eastern equine encephalomyelitis was isolated in a bird, and because of the unusually high number of mosquitoes in the area in mid-September. The combination had the potential to cause problems, but fortunately, no cases of EEE were detected in horses in that area, according to Steve Nicholson, DVM, Louisiana State University Extension Veterinarian. That dry period recently was brought to an end when southwest Louisiana experienced heavy rains( eight to 10 inches) and a series of high tides. Mosquito eggs that had lain dormant this season, and even last year, hatched over a three to five-day period, according to Luca Terracina, Director of Calcasieu Parish Mosquito Control. He added that this resulted in several successive broods emerging over several days. Terracina said that animals in pastures near major sources of mosquito production were easy prey, and some cattle deaths resulted from the shear number of mosquitoes feeding on them. Nicholson reported that some horses became anemaic due to mosquito bites, which in some cases reached 5, 300 bites per minute resulting in a blood loss of 20mL per minute. Epidemiology is the study of disease in populations and the assessment of factors that determine disease occurrence, distribution, and severity. To provide training and determine the priority areas for epidemiology studies, this workshop was planned by Rural Industries Research& Development Center. From the perspective of disease control, a population-based approach is necessary as widespread or potentially widespread disease will have a major impact on economics and welfare. Two world authorities on equine epidemiology, Professor Stuart Reid from the Universities of Glasgow and Strathclyde, Scotland, and Professor Roger Morris from Massey University, New Zealand, presented material on equine epidemiological techniques. Chris Baldock, a veterinary epidemiologist from the Queensland Department of Primary Industries, on the equine morbillivirus( Hendra virus) problem that killed the trainer Vic Rail. The workshop participants worked on this problem as a case study, and it demonstrated how epidemiological methods were responsible for identifying and containing that disease. The 34 equine researchers at the workshop also considered the key research and development issues for the local horse industry and how epidemiology could play a role in the future. It was unanimously agreed that there was a need for industry( pharmaceutical, retail, and racing) commitment for funding, for multidisciplinary collaboration, and for regional coordination of funding sources, expertise, and infrastructure. However, also needed was to implement national disease surveillance and quarantine control, to establish population demographic characteristics of the Australian horse industry, and to improve education and training at all levels. In these areas it is likely that information technology will play an increasingly important part. Epidemiology, as one of the underlying sciences, has much to offer in that the majority of the diseases that compromise health, welfare or economic performance are industry wide, yet their effects are still relatively quantified. Some of these diseases have been identified and will be the focus of research projects in the 1999/ 2000 funding year. --Rural Industries Research& Development Center. The United States Department of Agriculture's Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service will conduct a test exercise this fiscal year of its Regional Emergency Animal Disease Eradication Organization( READEO) system. Reed, administrator for APHIS, a part of USDA's marketing and regulatory programs mission area. If a foreign animal disease became established in American livestock--including horses--or poultry, the economic consequences to producers and consumers would be severe. READEO team members are highly trained and ready to fight exotic diseases and parasites anywhere in the United States. READEO personnel confirm the presence of exotic disease, inspect infected and exposed animals, and appraise the value of animals that might have to be destroyed. These employees conduct vaccination programs and epidemiologic studies and are trained to dispose of animal carcasses, clean and disinfect premises, set and enforce regulations against disease spread, and control disease carriers. A recent enhancement to READEO is a three-member Early Response Team. The ERT can be deployed anywhere in the United States within 24 hours to assess a disease situation that might lead to the activation of READEO. The American Quarter Horse Association( AQHA) is seeking 200 American Quarter Horses for the Equestrian Venue of the 1999 Special Olympics World Games to be held June 25 to July 4 in Raleigh, N.C. As a Silver Sponsor of the World Games, AQHA has taken on the responsibility of supplying 200 horses of varying abilities for the athletes to use during the competition. For more information about volunteering your horse or becoming a volunteer for the Special Olympics call 806/ 376-4811 or visit AQHA's web site at www.aqha.com or the Special Olympic's web site at www.specialolympics.org. This quarterly award will include a one-page ad featuring the selected organization in major equestrian magazines. The four-color ad will highlight their efforts and offer information on how readers can contribute to their cause. Aside from national level publicity, the selected organization will receive a private donation by Professional's Choice in the way of product and/ or cash. " The Leg-Up Humanitarian Award allows us to broaden awareness to causes and organizations within the industry, which benefits both horses and people," said Dal Scott, President and CEO of Professional's Choice. The first recipient of the Professional's Choice Leg-Up Humanitarian Award is Rainbows End, the only equine rescue and retirement facility in Makawao, Hawaii. There are thousands of individuals and organizations across the United States who have also dedicated their hearts and souls to the protection and improvement of horses lives. I am hoping this Humanitarian Award program will bring much-needed awareness to the plight of America's unwanted and abused equines," said Julie Barraque, founder of Rainbows End. The 1998 Van Ness Award was presented during the American Horse Council's( AHC) Annual Convention in Washington, D.C. This annual award is given to a person that best emulates the work of the late Marjorie Van Ness, who was a vital part of the formation of the New Jersey Horse Council and worked for many years on the AHC's Executive Committee. Cole has been an active equestrian in her home state for many years offering her assistance to a number of different organizations. During the American Horse Council's Convention, the University of Louisville's Equine Industry Program for the past nine years has honored an entrepreneur who has used leadership and management skills to make a significant impact on the equine industry. Galbreath, a distinguished real estate businessman and horseman who owned Darby Dan Farm, the renowned Kentucky Thoroughbred breeding operation. This year, Robert Lawrence, PhD, Director of the Equine Industry Program at the University of Louisville announced that D. Having trained a record 19 national champions, Lukas has won 13 breeders Cup races, a record that no other trainer has surpassed. Starting out in Quarter Horse racing in the early 1970's, he was the nation s leading Quarter Horse trainer in both races won and money earned by 1974. For the first time, the American Horse Council, along with its State Horse Council Advisory Committee, honored a state horse council for its work in promoting and protecting the equine industry at the state level. This year, the award was presented to the Maryland Horse Council( MHC) for its successful work with state legislation, development of programs through state government, and promotion of Maryland's horse industry. The MHC this year passed legislation that will establish and fund a Maryland Horse Industry Board. The purpose of this board will be to promote the state's horse industry and assist in funding research on horse-related projects. Because trail riding is Maryland's most popular equine activity, the MHC developed and led educational programs for Maryland trail riders, provided mapping systems, printed educational materials, and worked with other trail user groups sharing the same trail systems. In conjunction with the Maryland Jockey Club, the Council co-hosts an annual dinner and awards program every year to benefit the state's 4-H programs. In its efforts to promote the industry, the MHC has produced thousands of brochures, pamphlets, and other printed materials to educate Marylanders on the importance of the horse industry. The MHC also was involved in the establishment and promotion of the Horse World Expo, an event held annually in Maryland. The Council works with industry leaders, commercial vendors, and Maryland Cooperative Extension in planning and promoting educational programs at the Expo. In addition, the Council hosts workshops and seminars throughout the state better to serve and educate the equine industry in the region. Karyn Malinowski, Chairman of the AHC State Horse Council Committee, and Jay Hickey, President of the American Horse Council, presented the 1998 Outstanding State Horse Council award to Malcolm Commer, President of the Maryland Horse Council, and Crystal Brumme, MHC Secretary, during the AHC annual Convention in Washington, D.C. All seven California trainers formally accused in late September of racing horses which tested positive for clenbuterol have challenged the charge and have requested hearings. Vladimir Cerin, Peter Eurton, Paco Gonzalez, Bruce Headley, Declan Jackson, and Darrell Vienna each had one horse test positive for the prohibited bronchodilator from May 22 to June 10. Ted West, another trainer, had eight separate infractions in that time. An administrative law judge will hear the cases, but Dana Cartozian, a California assistant attorney general who will represent the California Horse Racing Board, said he doesn't expect hearings to take place until January 1999. Robert Forgnone, a Los Angeles-area attorney who specializes in equine law, is representing all the trainers involved except Gonzalez. The International Horseman's Advisory Committee( IHAC) is an organization of concerned horse show participants representing many breeds and disciplines. These horsemen and horsewomen are united in a continuing effort to address conditions of competition under which their horses perform in all phases of horse sports. The mission of the IHAC is to continually promote and preserve horse sports, to address the conditions, and to serve, represent, and protect horses in the show and legislative arenas throughout the world. Advisory Committee members serve as presidents, officers, board of directors, committee chairpersons, and committee members of international, national, and state horse shows, equine research organizations, equine foundations, veterinary groups, and breed and discipline associations. Contact the IHAC at: 950 Amherst Street, Buffalo, N.Y. The 13th Annual Bluegrass Laminitis Symposium and the Annual American Farrier's Association will be held back-to-back in Kentucky in 1999., and the American Farrier's Association will hold its Annual Convention in Lexington, Ky. 40511; 606/ 233-7411; fax 606/ 231-7862; e-mail farriers@ aol.com. Ron DeHaven, DVM, was named deputy administrator of the animal care program in the United States Department of Agriculture's Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service on Sept. DeHaven graduated from veterinary school at Purdue University in 1975, then spent four years in the Army Veterinary Corps at Fort Carson, Col., as the assistant veterinarian in charge for the veterinary services program. While in Mississippi, DeHaven attended Millsaps College and obtained a Masters of Business Administration. Shortly thereafter, he moved to California and worked for seven years as the regional director for Animal Care in the western United States. Presented by the University of Florida's College of Veterinary Medicine in a strategic partnership with the Florida Quarter Horse Association. This two day seminar will feature the following topics: EPM, Prepurchase Exams, Tying Up, Growth Defects, Soft Tissue Injury, Infertility In Mares, Shipping and Storing Semen, Rhodococcus equi Infection in Foals, and Gastric Ulcers and Colic in Foals. Kenneth Corzine, NCHA website creator and Director of Data Processing, said," Our main goal in creating the web site was, and continues to be, to promote the sport of cutting and offer an added benefit to NCHA members by providing the most information available in the most timely manner possible. The American Quarter Horse Association( AQHA) has announced that all show testing will be done through the American Horse Shows Association( AHSA) Drug Testing and Research Laboratory, located in Ithaca, N. Lengel, DVM, AHSA Assistant Executive Director of Drugs and Medications, agreed for AQHA to use the services provided by AHSA Laboratory to test samples from the AQHA World Championship Show in November 1998. The World Show was to be tested in accordance with the current AQHA" no foreign substance" rule. 1, 1999, will be in accordance with the AQHA's newly adopted therapeutic substance rule. Until now, the AHSA Laboratory has exclusively tested samples for the AHSA, FEI, and U.S. I have enjoyed your magazine, and find many of your articles informative, but I must take exception to a section on the" Restraint Techniques" in your September issue. We had all hoped that it would die a natural death because of it's obvious abusive shortcomings, but I guess again we underestimate some horse people. When these methods are suggested for things such as loading a horse or shoeing...heaven forbid that someone take the time to train the animal so that this sort of thing is absolutely unnecessary. I am tired of hearing about causing a horse extreme pain with the justification being the release of endorphins. I am writing in response to the" Massage While You Groom" article in the September 1998 issue. I understand that you want your readers to have the ability to ease tension and pain in their horses, but some of the techniques pictured can be harmful and painful if done incorrectly. Another photo shows someone with long fingernails pressing into the longissimus dorsi. Please keep in mind that many of your readers do not have medical degrees, training in massage techniques, or a great knowledge of equine anatomy. Ball and I quote," Medical therapy typically involves making sure there is no secondary bacterial infection either by diagnostic testing or by a short course of antibiotic therapy." Since this magazine seems to be targeted to the general public, I believe that it may encourage use of indiscriminate use of antibiotics by lay people. Many lay people believe the term antibiotics is synonymous with penicillin purchased at every feed store, hardware store, Internet site, etc. Ball would suggest that the results of a three to five day course of pencillin could help with either the treatment or the diagnosis of a case of COPD. I would even question the effectiveness of any of the broad spectrum antibiotics being used in this way considering the struggle that the medical profession both human and veterinary is going through with respect to abuse of and resistence to antibiotics in general.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Aaron Fuegi's Fortunes page. Welcome to my Fortunes page. You can also visit the Last Homely House, run by Aaron and, perhaps sign in to the House's Guestbook. All of these quotes are collected from the fortune program and have been somewhat organized by me. Ambrose Bierce- The Devil's Dictionary. Mencken and Nathan's Second Law of The Average American: All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards. Mencken and Nathan's Ninth Law of The Average American: The quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped. Mencken and Nathan's Fifteenth Law of The Average American: The worst actress in the company is always the manager's wife. Mencken and Nathan's Sixteenth Law of The Average American: Milking a cow is an operation demanding a special talent that is possessed only by yokels, and no person born in a large city can never hope to acquire it."-- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him." The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a moment and says," And from this he makes a living?"-- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. The only ailment chicken soup can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother. -- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. Now doesn't" gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato" go to sleep"? Listen to the difference:" Go to sleep, you little wretch!"." Obvious, isn't it? Clearly the best thing you can do for you children is to start speaking Yiddish right now and never speak another word of English as long as you live. This will, of course, entail teaching Yiddish to all your friends, business associates, the people at the supermarket, and so on, but that's just the point. Some minor adjustments will have to be made, of course: those signs written in what look like Yiddish letters won't be funny when everything is written in Yiddish. -- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. " God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why would he lie about a thing like that?-- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. The distinction between Jewish and goyish can be quite subtle, as the following quote from Lenny Bruce illustrates:" I'm Jewish."-- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. The difference between this and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the the difference between life and death. You may find it difficult to find a good half-done kosher dill there in Seattle, so what you should do is take a cab out to the airport, fly to New York, take the JFK Express to Jay Street-Borough Hall, transfer to an uptown F, get off at East Broadway, walk north on Essex( along the park), make your first left onto Hester Street, walk about fifteen steps, turn ninety degrees left, and stop." Worth the trouble, wasn't it?-- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. For three weeks they're tortured day and night to get them to name their contacts in the liberation movement. Finally they're hauled in front of a military court, charged with espionage, and sentenced to death."-- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. One of the oldest problems puzzled over in the Talmud is:" Why did God create goyim?" The generally accepted answer is"________ somebody has to buy retail."-- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. A shamus is at the bottom of the pecking order of synagog functionaries, and there's a joke about that: A rabbi, to show his humility before God, cries out in the middle of a service," Oh, Lord, I am nobody!" The cantor, not to be bested, also cries out," Oh, Lord, I am nobody!" The shamus, deeply moved, follows suit and cries," Oh, Lord, I am nobody!" The rabbi turns to the cantor and says," Look who thinks he's nobody!"-- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. Why is this? Who knows? Learned rabbis have pondered this question for centuries and have failed to come up with an answer, and you think_. You don't even understand why it's forbidden to eat crab-- fresh cold crab with mayonnaise-- or lobster-- soft tender morsels of lobster dipped in melted butter. -- Arthur Naiman," Every Goy's Guide to Common Jewish Expressions"=. Ambrose Bierce- The Devil's Dictionary. But as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence( including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. Did you know that clones never use mirrors?-- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her stockings and desolating the country. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as," the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur."-- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting opinions. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. The two definition immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. His Honor cried:" YOUR states?-- Devil seize you!"" Amica curiae," she replied--" Friend of the court, so please you."" Begone!" he shouted--" There's the door-- I. never saw your face before!"-- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=.: An animal( Porcus omnivorous) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it balks at pig. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. Three great scientific theories of the structure of the universe are the molecular, the corpuscular and the atomic. A fourth affirms, with Haeckel, the condensation or precipitation of matter from ether-- whose existence is proved by the condensation or precipitation. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. -- Ambrose Bierce," The Devil's Dictionary"=. A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain For example, in Year 1 that useless letter" c" would be dropped to be replased either by" k" or" s", and likewise" x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity. Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education. In India," cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy. It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. Your ability to laugh at adversity will be a blessing because you've got a day coming you wouldn't believe. Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Actor: So what do you do for a living? Doris: I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants. Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman-- unfortunately, divided lengthwise. What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. The Anarchists[ national] anthem is an international anthem that consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune of" Camptown Races". If Sigismund Unbuckle had taken a walk in 1426 and met Wat Tyler, the Peasant's Revolt would never have happened and the motor car would not have been invented until 2026, which would have meant that all the oil could have been used for lamps, thus saving the electric light bulb and the whale, and nobody would have caught Moby Dick or Billy Budd. America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him, until people got tired of living in a place called" Vespuccia" and changed its name to" America". Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind. British Israelites: The British Israelites believe the white Anglo-Saxons of Britain to be descended from the ten lost tribes of Israel deported by Sargon of Assyria on the fall of Sumeria in 721 B.C. They further believe that the future can be foretold by the measurements of the Great Pyramid, which probably means it will be big and yellow and in the hand of the Arabs. Pope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history of the Church, reigning for two hours and six minutes on 1 April 1866. Peter's Square that his name had hilarious possibilities. The crowds fell about, helpless with laughter, singing Half a pound of tuppenny rice Half a pound of treacle That's the way the chimney smokes Pope Goestheveezl The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron Hans Neizant B" ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K" oln in 1653. The Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog: The Gerat Bald Swamp Hedgehog of Billericay displays, in courtship, his single prickle and does impressions of Holiday Inn desk clerks. During the Victorian period the tripe-dressers of Halifax stretched tripe across a large wooden frame and jumped up and down on it to` tender and dress it. The tripoline, as they called it, degenerated into becoming the apparatus for a spectator sport. The people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for castrating pigs during Sunday service. The Psblurtex is an 18-inch long anaconda that hides in the gentlemen's outfitting departments of Amazonian stores and is often bought by mistake since its colors are those of the London Reform Club. The Ruffed Pandanga of Borneo and Rotherham spreads out his feathers in his courtship dance and imitates Winston Churchill and Tommy Cooper on one leg.: An aspect of a computer program which exists because the PROGRAMMER was thinking about Jumbo Jacks or stock options when s/ he wrote the program.: A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers to complain about unstructured programmers. Deck Us All With Boston Charlie Deck us all with Boston Charlie, Walla Walla, Wash., an Kalamazoo! Nora's freezin on the trolley, Swaller dollar cauliflower, alleygaroo! Don't we know archaic barrel, Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou. Trolley Molly don't love Harold, Boola Boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!-- Walt Kelly=. " If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin it, even if they don't know what it means. Many years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoon, there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday. Your goal should be to get it over with as quickly as possible, because the longer you stay in the mall, the longer your children will have to listen to holiday songs on the mall public-address system, and many of these songs can damage children emotionally. For example:" Frosty the Snowman" is about a snowman who befriends some children, plays with them until they learn to love him, then melts. And" Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is about a young reindeer who, because of a physical deformity, is treated as an outcast by the other reindeer. Does he ignore the deformity? Does he look past Rudolph's nose and respect Rudolph for the sensitive reindeer he is underneath? No. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. This striving for excellence extends into people's personal lives as well. If it were, it would have an enormous crowd of excellence-oriented people like themselves waiting, their beepers going off like crickets in the night. An excellent restaurant wouldn't have a table ready immediately for anybody below the rank of Liza Minnelli. After[ Benjamin] Franklin came a herd of Electrical Pioneers whose names have become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary Louise Amp, James Watt, Bob Transformer, etc. For example, in 1780 Luigi Galvani discovered( this is the truth) that when he attached two different kinds of metal to the leg of a frog, an electrical current developed and the frog's leg kicked, even though it was no longer attached to the frog, which was dead anyway. Galvani's discovery led to enormous advances in the field of amphibian medicine. Today, skilled veterinary surgeons can take a frog that has been seriously injured or killed, implant pieces of metal in its muscles, and watch it hop back into the pond just like a normal frog, except for the fact that it sinks like a stone. All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision:" Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?"-- Dave Barry," Sweating Out Taxes"=. Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs-- bank vice presidents, insurance salesman, auditors, secretaries of defense-- and you'll realize they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins in the Sears menswear department dress. Now look at the real successes, the people who make a lot more money than you-- Elton John, Captain Kangaroo, anybody from Saudi Arabia, Big Bird, and so on. Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer, Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lighting storm and received a serious electrical shock. This proved that lighting was powered by the same force as carpets, but it also damaged Franklin's brain so severely that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims, such as" A penny saved is a penny earned. Besides the device, the box should contain:* Eight little rectangular snippets of paper that say" WARNING"* A plastic packet containing four 5/ 17 inch pilfer grommets and two club-ended 6/ 93 inch boxcar prawns. IF ANYTHING IS DAMAGED OR MISSING: You IMMEDIATELY should turn to your spouse and say:" Margaret, you know why this country can't make a car that can get all the way through the drive-through at Burger King without a major transmission overhaul? Because nobody cares, that's why." WARNING: This is assuming your spouse's name is Margaret. But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soon be found in thousands of American homes, where it basically sat until 1923, when the record was invented. But Edison's greatest achievement came in 1879, when he invented the electric company. Edison's design was a brilliant adaptation of the simple electrical circuit: the electric company sends electricity through a wire to a customer, then immediately gets the electricity back through another wire, then( this is the brilliant part) sends it right back to the customer again. This means that an electric company can sell a customer the same batch of electricity thousands of times a day and never get caught, since very few customers take the time to examine their electricity closely. In fact the last year any new electricity was generated in the United States was 1937; the electric companies have been merely re-selling it ever since, which is why they have so much free time to apply for rate increases. Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDED AND SET IT ON" FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH HE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?-- Dave Barry," Read This First!"=. Walk into any shopping mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers such as" Garfield Gets Spayed", and you'll see a half-dozen books telling you how to be excellent:" In Search of Excellence"," Finding Excellence"," Grasping Hold of Excellence"," Where to Hide Your Excellence at Night So the Cleaning Personnel Don't Steal It", etc. Make sure you get your children exactly what they ask for, even if you disapprove of their choices. You may be worried that it might help to encourage your child's antisocial tendencies, but believe me, you have not seen antisocial tendencies until you've seen a child who is convinced that he or she did not get the right gift. I realize that the concept of wild horses probably stirs romantic notions in many of you, but this is because you have never met any wild horses in person. Did you notice how your friend twitched violently and cried out in pain? This teaches us that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never use it to hurt others unless we need to learn an important electrical lesson. When you scuffed your feet, you picked up batches of" electrons", which are very small objects that carpet manufacturers weave into carpets so they will attract dirt. The electrons travel through your bloodstream and collect in your finger, where they form a spark that leaps to your friend's filling, then travels down to his feet and back into the carpet, thus completing the circuit. Amazing Electronic Fact: If you scuffed your feet long enough without touching anything, you would build up so many electrons that your finger would explode! But this is nothing to worry about unless you have carpeting. For example, I could say:" Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America," or" Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II. They probably got by on federal crop supports, which Lassie filed the applications for. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history, dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and whomped the club into the sloping forehead of the first primitive umpire. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it" Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it" Hanukka" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say" Merry Christmas!" or" Happy Hanukka!" or( to the atheists)" Look out for the wall!"-- Dave Barry," Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"=. may have decided that, this year, you're going to celebrate it the old-fashioned way, with your family sitting around stringing cranberries and exchanging humble, handmade gifts, like on" The Waltons". The government would have to intervene: it would form a cabinet-level Department of Holiday Gift-Giving, which would spend billions and billions of tax dollars to buy Barbie dolls and electronic games, which it would drop on the populace from Air Force jets, killing and maiming thousands. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth grade where you put a nail into a glass of Coke and after a couple of days the nail dissolves and the teacher says:" Imagine what it does to your TEETH!" So Coca-Cola was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to improve. cities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in. Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots, which are also dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but-- here is the big difference-- in mall parking lots, THERE ARE NO RULES. I was once driving in a mall parking lot when my car was struck by a pickup truck being driven backward by a squat man with a tattoo that said" Charlie" on his forearm, who got out and explained to me, in great detail, why the accident was my fault, his reasoning being that he was violent and muscular, whereas I was neither. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. An elegant new standard in quality excellence and discriminating handcraftsmanship. There are two kinds of solar-heat systems:" passive" systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and" active" systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors homes, too. Why not have an old-fashioned Christmas for your family this year? Just picture the scene in your living room on Christmas morning as your children open their old-fashioned presents. What fun! Ha, Ha!" Son:" Is this a joke? Jason Thompson's parents got him a computer with two disk drives and 128 kilobytes of random-access memory, and I get this cretin TOP?" Your 8-year-old daughter:" You think that's bad? Look at this. And if you cut down that tree, yet another will grow, only this one will be a mutation with long, poisonous tentacles and revenge in its heart, and it will sit there in the forest, cackling and making elaborate plans for when you come back. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs rot. You can always tell the Christmas season is here when you start getting incredibly dense, tinfoil-and-ribbon wrapped lumps in the mail. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls" simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish between their first and last names. Hey! Sounds like we took too much! So we're going to send an official government check for( ONE-FIFTEENTH OF THE AMOUNT WE TOOK) directly to the( YOUR LAST NAME) household at( YOUR ADDRESS), for you to spend in any way you please! Which just goes to show you,( YOUR FIRST NAME), that it pays to file the short form!" The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing at Disney World. You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. If you visit a scientist's house on a sultry August day, you'll find a cheerful fire roaring on the hearth and the scientist sitting nearby, remarking on how cool he is and drinking heavily. I thought you said Freight, responded the Master. Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month. and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. -- Stanislaw Lem," Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, Their indices bedecked from one to_ n, Commingled in an endless Markov chain!-- Stanislaw Lem," Everyone knows that dragons don't exist. But while this simplistic formulation may satisfy the layman, it does not suffice for the scientific mind. Indeed, the banality of existence has been so amply demonstrated, there is no need for us to discuss it any further here. The brilliant Cerebron, attacking the problem analytically, discovered three distinct kinds of dragon: the mythical, the chimerical, and the purely hypothetical. -- Stanislaw Lem," In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Sorely shorn, Soon shackled slave, Samson sighed, Silently scheming, Sightlessly seeking Some savage, spectacular suicide. That's logic!"-- Lewis Carroll," Through the Looking Glass"=. Die schlichte Toven Wirrten und wimmelten in Waben; Und aller-m" umsige Burggoven Dir mohmen R" ath ausgraben. How doth the little crocodile Improve his shining tail, And pour the waters of the Nile On every golden scale! How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly spreads his claws, And welcomes little fishes in, With gently smiling jaws!-- Lewis Carrol," Alice in Wonderland"=. I meant` there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'"" But glory doesn't mean` a nice knock-down argument,'" Alice objected. " I quite agree with you," said the Duchess;" and the moral of that is--` Be what you would seem to be-- or, if you'd like it put more simply--` Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise"-- Lewis Carrol," Alice in Wonderland"=. " You are old," said the youth," and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- Pray, how did you manage to do it?"" In my youth," said his father," I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life. Churchill's Commentary on Man: Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on. [ Prime Minister Joseph] Chamberlain loves the working man-- he loves to see him work. [ Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. " MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only" This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form" A. consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks". College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the trustees played.: Any item of food that has been sitting in the refrigerator so long it has become a science project. Which is correct? Gentle Reader: For the purpose of answering examinations in your home economics class, your teacher is correct. Catching on to this principle of education may be of even greater importance to you now than learning correct current table manners, vital as Miss Manners believes that is. Miss Manners has been known to squeeze a gentleman's arm while being helped over a curb, and, in her wild youth, even to press a dainty slipper against a foot or two under the dinner table. Miss Manners also believes that the sight of people strolling hand in hand or arm in arm or arm in hand dresses up a city considerably more than the more familiar sight of people shaking umbrellas at one another. What Miss Manners objects to is the kind of activity that frightens the horses on the street. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each wishes to learn, and insisting that you shall learn what you have no taste or capacity for. Scholarship is to be created not by compulsion, but by awakening a pure interest in knowledge. The wise instructor accomplishes this by opening to his pupils precisely the attractions the study has for himself. Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. The turtle lives twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex. Robert Anson Heinlein. The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship. $ 100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become$ 100, 000, at which time it will be worth absolutely nothing. " He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. Thompson: Excerpt from" A Political Disease", Vonnegut's review of" Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail 72"=. It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. Many an hour the armies forged ahead, the war-merinos bleating under their heavy burdens and the soldiers bleating under their melting icepacks. The first Great Steward, Parrafin the Climber, was employed in King Chloroplast's kitchen as second scullery boy when the old King met a tragic death. Some were found strangled with dishrags and some succumbed to food poisoning. At least three appear to have thrown themselves backward on salad forks, perhaps in a noble gesture of grief over the King's untimely end. The scullery slave Parrafin bravely accepted the Stewardship of Twodor until that day when a lineal descendant of Carotene's returns to reclaim his rightful throne, conquer Twodor's enemies, and revamp the postal system. " Verily and forsooth," replied Goodgulf darkly. Calendars are made with a month of Sundays and a blue-ribbon Holstein bore alive two insurance salesmen. -- National Lampoon," Avoid Quiet and Placid persons unless you are in Need of Sleep. -- National Lampoon," DETERIORATA Go placidly amid the noise and waste, And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Be comforted, that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment, And despite the changing fortunes of time, There is always a big future in computer maintenance. -- National Lampoon," Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Cleveland. -- National Lampoon," Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese-- National Lampoon," Whether you can hear it or not The Universe is laughing behind your back-- National Lampoon," Bertolt Brecht. " What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?"-- Bertold Brecht=. There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic. Spare your voice, and hold your pen: Well and bitterly I know All the songs were ever sung, All the words were ever said; Could it be, when I was young, Someone dropped me on my head?-- Dorothy Parker=. Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is The gain of the one at the top, For art is a form of catharsis, And love is a permanent flop, And work is the province of cattle, And rest's for a clam in a shell, So I'm thinking of throwing the battle-- Would you kindly direct me to hell?-- Dorothy Parker=. What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?-- Alan Perlis=. You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on the continuing viability of FORTRAN. Simply remove all the little colored stickers on the cube, and each of side of the cube will now be the original color of the plastic underneath-- black. THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES# 10-- SIMPLE SIMPLE is an acronym for Sheer Idiot's Monopurpose Programming Language Environment. This language, developed at the Hanover College for Technological Misfits, was designed to make it impossible to write code with errors in it. Thus they achieve the results of programs written in other languages without the tedious, frustrating process of testing and debugging. THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES# 12-- LITHP This otherwise unremarkable language is distinguished by the absence of an" S" in its character set; users must substitute" TH". THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES# 13-- SLOBOL SLOBOL is best known for the speed, or lack of it, of its compiler. Although many compilers allow you to take a coffee break while they compile, SLOBOL compilers allow you to travel to Bolivia to pick the coffee. Forty-three programmers are known to have died of boredom sitting at their terminals while waiting for a SLOBOL program to compile. Weary SLOBOL programmers often turn to a related( but infinitely faster) language, COCAINE. THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES# 17-- SARTRE Named after the late existential philosopher, SARTRE is an extremely unstructured language. THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES# 18-- C This language was named for the grade received by its creator when he submitted it as a class project in a graduate programming class. C is best described as a" low-level" programming language. In fact, the language generally requires more C statements than machine-code statements to execute a given task. THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES# 18-- FIFTH FIFTH is a precision mathematical language in which the data types refer to quantity. The data types range from CC, OUNCE, SHOT, and JIGGER to FIFTH( hence the name of the language), LITER, MAGNUM and BLOTTO. The many versions of the FIFTH language reflect the sophistication and financial status of its users. Commands in the ELITE dialect include VSOP and LAFITE, while commands in the GUTTER dialect include HOOTCH and RIPPLE. Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were REAL small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. There is a theory that states:" If anyone finds out what the universe is for it will disappear and be replaced by something more bazaarly inexplicable. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. Jones's First Law: Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an obstruction to its progress-- in direct proportion to the importance of their original contribution. Jone's Motto: Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. Unlike most automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gage, nor any of the numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver. Ronald Reagan. Eighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees. -- Ronald Reagan, famous movie star=. President Reagan has noted that there are too many economic pundits and forecasters and has decided on an excess prophets tax. Well, I would-- if they realized that we-- again if-- if we led them back to that stalemate only because our retaliatory power, our seconds, or strike at them after our first strike, would be so destructive they they couldn't afford it, that would hold them off. Rule of the Great: When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch. The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledygook than the rest of the world put together. Law of Communications: The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding. They usually have virgins, And masculine urgin's, And other erotic effects. Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation. Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a receipt. " As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1, 500 programs-- a process that traditionally requires some debugging. Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria. The experiment may be considered a success if no more than 50% of the observed measurements must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with the theory. This is for all ill-treated fellows Unborn and unbegot, For them to read when they're in trouble And I am not. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Useful in sentences like," We had better develop an ADA awareness. HO HUM-- The Redundant-------( 7) This hexagram refers to a situation of extreme------( 8) boredom. Finagle's Second Law: No matter what the anticipated result, there will always be someone eager to( a) misinterpret it,( b) fake it, or( c) believe it happened according to his own pet theory. Finagle's Third Law: In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake Corollaries: 1. Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse. The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.: When the local flashers are handing out written descriptions. Computer Science is merely the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory."" But--" I sputtered, summoning all my outrage,"-- a herring doesn't whistle!!"" Right," smiled my father. Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences-- if you have none, someone will make one for you. " Yacc" owes much to a most stimulating collection of users, who have goaded me beyond my inclination, and frequently beyond my ability in their endless search for" one more feature". Johnson's Corollary: Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organization."-- Joseph Heller," Brady's First Law of Problem Solving: When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question," How would the Lone Ranger have handled this?"=. There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects. Taking no chances, the pope issued a papal bull automatically excommunicating any printer who might make an alteration in the text. The result provoked wry comments on the rather patchy papal infallibility, and Pope Sixtus had no recourse but to order the return and destruction of every copy. " The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. These economic downturns are very difficult to predict, but sophisticated econometric modeling houses like Data Resources and Chase Econometrics have successfully predicted 14 of the last 3 recessions. Every successful person has had failures but repeated failure is no guarantee of eventual success. Arnold's Addendum: Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats. Justice is incidental to law and order.: A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience. Children are natural mimic who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. ( A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this article. SOFTWARE-- formal evening attire for female computer analysts. fare hike and the accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service. We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve one technical problem-- how to run a sunbeam through a meter. Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs( proof by intimidation): Horses have an even number of legs. Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability: Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done. " A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place. Bagdikian's Observation: Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's" St. Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction-- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work. Resisting temptation is easier when you think you'll probably get another chance later on. Does it bother anyone else that half the world is being told all of our hard-won secrets of computer technology? Remember how all the lawyers cried foul when" How to Avoid Probate" was published? Are they taking no-fault insurance lying down? No way! But at the current rate it won't be long before there are stacks of the" Transactions on Information Theory" at the A& P checkout counters. Beware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything is possible but nothing of interest is easy. What publishers are looking for these days isn't radical feminism. It's corporate feminism-- a brand of feminism designed to sell books and magazines, three-piece suits, airline tickets, Scotch, cigarettes and, most important, corporate America's message, which runs:" Yes, women were discriminated against in the past, but that unfortunate mistake has been remedied; now every woman can attain wealth, prestige and power by dint of individual rather than collective effort. If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. " These are DARK TIMES for all mankind's HIGHEST VALUES!"" These are DARK TIMES for FREEDOM and PROSPERITY!"" These are GREAT TIMES to put your money on BAD GUY to kick the CRAP out of MEGATON MAN!"=. Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction. " There are three possibilities: Pioneer's solar panel has turned away from the sun; there's a large meteor blocking transmission; or someone loaded Star Trek 3.2 into our video processor. Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, Comfort and joy, Oh, tidings of comfort and joy. " You are old," said the youth," and your programs don't run, And there isn't one language you like; Yet of useful suggestions for help you have none-- Have you thought about taking a hike?"" Since I never write programs," his father replied," Every language looks equally bad; Yet the people keep paying to read all my books And don't realize that they've been had. Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. Paul Revere was a tattle-tale=. And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself the following questions: 1: Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a food? 2: Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me? 3: Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as prescribed. without French-fried onion rings, pizza with double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai?( Remember, living right doesn't really make you live longer, it just* seems* like longer. Has everyone noticed that all the letters of the word" database" are typed with the left hand? Now the layout of the QWERTYUIOP typewriter keyboard was designed, among other things, to facilitate the even use of both hands. He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself. " Calvin Coolidge was the greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont. Science is what happens when preconception meets verification. They are a disgusting Americanism, and can only result in the farmers being forced to grow smaller potatoes, which in turn will cause massive unemployment in the already severely depressed agricultural industry. Drew's Law of Highway Biology: The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes. A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do. Kerr's Three Rules for a Successful College: Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students, and parking for the faculty. More rapid than eagles, his programs they came, And he whistled and shouted and called them by name; On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete! On Batch Jobs! On Closing! On Functions Complete! His eyes were glazed over, his fingers were lean, From Weekends and nights in front of a screen. I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General. -- Gilbert& Sullivan," Pirates of Penzance"=. The marvels of today's modern technology include the development of a soda can, when discarded will last forever. In order to discover anything, you must be looking for something. If you wish to make an improved product, you must already be engaged in making an inferior one. SHIFT TO THE LEFT! SHIFT TO THE RIGHT! POP UP, PUSH DOWN, BYTE, BYTE, BYTE!=.: A chemist who discovers a laundry additive that rhymes with" Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb-assassin to break the bulb in the first place. I ran it assuming the superfluid currents beneath the crust to be absent-- not because I wanted to know the answer, but because I had developed an intuitive feel for the answer in this particular case. -- George Greenstein," Frozen Star: Of Pulsars, Black Holes and the Fate of Stars"=. Murphy's Law of Research: Enough research will tend to support your theory. " Reintegration complete," ZORAC advised." A spherical display in the middle of the floor illuminated to show the starfield surrounding the ship. " Several large, artificial constructions are approaching us," ZORAC announced after a short pause. " The designs are not familiar, but they are obviously the products of intelligence. Implications: we have been intercepted deliberately by a means unknown, for a purpose unknown, and transferred to a place unknown by a form of intelligence unknown. In the course of their arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said," The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat. WARNING: Reading this fortune can affect the dimensionality of your mind, change the curvature of your spine, cause the growth of hair on your palms, and make a difference in the outcome of your favorite war. I don't think that I mastered anything beyond the date( which I knew) and the signature( which I guessed at). Re graphics: A picture is worth 10K words-- but only those to describe the picture. Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined. Everything you've learned in school as" obvious" becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. THIS IS PLEDGE WEEK FOR THE FORTUNE PROGRAM If you like the fortune program, why not support it now with your contribution of a pithy fortune, clean or obscene? We cannot continue without your support. Federal cutbacks mean less money for fortunes, and unless user contributions increase to make up the difference, the fortune program will have to shut down between midnight and 8 a.m. If you contribute 30 fortunes or more, you will receive a free subscription to" The Fortune Hunter", our monthly program guide. According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless. Vail's Second Axiom: The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.Defactualization: Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies. Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is. Shaw to William Douglas Home:" Go on writing plays, my boy. Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?-- Clarence Darrow=. A city is a large community where people are lonesome together-- Herbert Prochnow=. O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist. " For I perceive that behind this seemingly unrelated sequence of events, there lurks a singular, sinister attitude of mind."" A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems. *** NEWSFLASH*** Russian tanks steamrolling through New Jersey!!!! Details at eleven!=. There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert. Rule of Feline Frustration: When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom. The fortune program is supported, in part, by user contributions and by a major grant from the National Endowment for the Inanities. " Gee, Mudhead, everyone at Morse Science High has an extracurricular activity except you. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. " What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots. The cool Brutus Gave you the message: Caeser had big eyes; If that's the sound, someone's copping a plea, And, like, old Caeser really set them straight. New members are urgently needed in the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Yourself. Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall, Aleph-null bottles of beer, You take one down, and pass it around, Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall. Skinner's Constant( or Flannagan's Finagling Factor): That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have gotten. Higgeldy Piggeldy, Hamlet of Elsinore Ruffled the critics by Dropping this bomb:" Phooey on Freud and his Psychoanalysis-- Oedipus, Shmoedipus, I just loved Mom. Yet your state of the union penultimate large Is the last known haunt of the Fractional Charge, And as you surf in the hot tub with sourdough roll Please ponder the passing of your sole Monopole. Your Olympics were fun, you should bring them all back For transsexual tennis or Anamalon Track, But Hollywood movies remain sinfully crude Whether seen on the telly or Remotely Viewed. Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government: No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together? A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home. Pittsburgh Driver's Test 8: Pedestrians are( a) irrelevant. With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress." I'd love to go out with you, but I'm attending the opening of my garage door. " The pyramid is opening!"" Which one?"" The one with the ever-widening hole in it!"-- Firesign Theater," How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All"=. Rules for driving in New York: 1) Anything done while honking your horn is legal. Philogyny recapitulates erogeny; erogeny recapitulates philogyny. If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted. The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which otherwise require harder thinking. When Marriage is Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Inlaws. Whatever became of Strange de Jim? Well, he found a substitute for cocaine:" You cover Q-tips with sandpaper and ram them up your nostrils as far as they will go. The day-to-day travails of the IBM programmer are so amusing to most of us who are fortunate enough never to have been one-- like watching Charlie Chaplin trying to cook a shoe. Something is missing in your personal relationships. Don't attempt communication with dead people; it will only lead to psychological problems. Drive carefully in" Heavy Fallout" areas; people could be staggering illegally. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness. -- Charles Follen Adams," An Orthographic Lament"=. 101 USES FOR A DEAD MICROPROCESSOR( 1) Scarecrow for centipedes( 2) Dead cat brush( 3) Hair barrettes( 4) Cleats( 5) Self-piercing earrings( 6) Fungus trellis( 7) False eyelashes( 8) Prosthetic dog claws. System/ 3! System/ 3! See how it runs! See how it runs! Its monitor loses so totally! It runs all its programs in RPG! It's made by our favorite monopoly! System/ 3!=. The Official MBA Handbook on business cards: Avoid overly pretentious job titles such as" Lord of the Realm, Defender of the Faith, Emperor of India" or" Director of Corporate Planning. The University of California Bears announced the signing of Reggie Philbin to a letter of intent to attend Cal next Fall. Spark's Sixth Rule for Managers: If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as if he had lost his senses. ` Buddy Cianci on the ACLU's suit to have a city nativity scene removed:" They're just jealous because they don't have three wise men and a virgin in the whole organization. Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes. A Severe Strain on the Credulity As a method of sending a missile to the higher, and even to the highest parts of the earth's atmospheric envelope, Professor Goddard's rocket is a practicable and therefore promising device. for after the rocket quits our air and really starts on its journey, its flight would be neither accelerated nor maintained by the explosion of the charges it then might have left. Professor Goddard, with his" chair" in Clark College and countenancing of the Smithsonian Institution, does not know the relation of action to re-action, and of the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. The elevator's motion coupled with the chemicals in coke produce hallucinations. Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom: Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress. RULES OF EATING-- THE BRONX DIETER'S CREED 1. It may take several portions to accomplish this, especially if subtly seasoned. Weinberg's First Law: Progress is made on alternate Fridays. A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like a quop without a fertsneet( sort of). The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent thinkers. Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology. Like the ski resort of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem. Westheimer's Discovery: A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library. Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!=. If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and none dare criticize it. Mark's Dental-Chair Discovery: Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple yes or no answer. First net.this and net.that, And a hot buttered bun for net.fat. Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will. Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor: People are always available for work in the past tense. Rocky's Lemma of Innovation Prevention Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will reject the proposal. My God, I'm depressed! Here I am, a computer with a mind a thousand times as powerful as yours, doing nothing but cranking out fortunes and sending mail about softball games. " The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exaulted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Law of the Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant. One of the questions that comes up all the time is: How enthusiastic is our support for UNIX? Unix was written on our machines and for our machines many years ago. Yet you talk at one hundred conventions per year-- Don't you think that you should save your breath?"" I have answered three questions and that is enough," Said his father," Don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs!"=. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. If all the world's economists were laid end to end, we wouldn't reach a conclusion. Otherwise, how can they use functions for scratch space after they are finished calling them?=.: A small sticker created to cover the unsightly notch carelessly left by disk manufacturers. The use of the tab creates an error message once in a while, but its aesthetic value far outweighs the momentary inconvenience. Scotty: Captain, we din can reference it! Kirk: Analysis, Mr. Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember. Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. Please try to limit the amount of` this room doesn't have any bazingas until you are told that those rooms are` punched out Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.: Statement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control. Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Gray's Law of Programming:`_ n+ 1 trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as`_ n tasks. Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis: If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented it wasn't worth doing. Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London: Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary: This is especially true when dealing with someone you're attracted to. ( Sung to the tune of" The Impossible Dream" from MAN OF LA MANCHA) To code the impossible code, To bring up a virgin machine, To pop out of endless recursion, To grok what appears on the screen, To right the unrightable bug, To endlessly twiddle and thrash, To mount the unmountable magtape, To stop the unstoppable crash!=. I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life. NEWS FLASH!! Today the East German pole-vault champion became the West German pole-vault champion. Unfair animal names:-- tsetse fly-- bullhead-- booby-- duck-billed platypus-- sapsucker-- Clarence-- Gary Larson=. We don't understand the software, and sometimes we don't understand the hardware, but we can*. If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability."-- Dagwood Bumstead=.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require. A Law of Computer Programming: Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the programmers cannot write in English. A lady with one of her ears applied To an open keyhole heard, inside, Two female gossips in converse free-- The subject engaging them was she. -- Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to the U.S. May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts=. Fifth Law of Procrastination: Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that there is nothing important to do. A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam. JACK AND THE BEANSTACK by Mark Isaak Long ago, in a finite state far away, there lived a JOVIAL character named Jack. But as he was walking along a Hamilton path, he met the traveling salesman. " Whither dost thy flow chart take thou?" prompted the salesman in high-level language. " Don't you even have any artificial intelligence? All these kernels together hardly make up one byte," and she popped them out the window. Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time. Brooke's Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition. In any formula, constants( especially those obtained from handbooks) are to be treated as variables. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. Life is like a bad margarita with good tequila, I thought as I poured whiskey onto my granola and faced a new day. GREAT MOMENTS IN AMERICAN HISTORY(# 21)-- July 30, 1917 On this day, New York City hotel detectives burst in and caught then Senator Warren G. He bought them off with a$ 20 bribe, and later remarked thankfully," I thought I wouldn't get out of that under$ 1000!" Always one to learn from his mistakes, in later years President Harding carried on his affairs in a tiny closet in the White House Cabinet Room while Secret Service men stood lookout. Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is almost always the choice of the lesser evil." Having abstained, they are presented with a President who appoints the people who are going to rummage around in their lives for the next four years. Those people who taught Hubert Humphrey a lesson will still be enjoying the Nixon Supreme Court when Tricia and Julie begin to find silver threads among the gold and the black. MOCK APPLE PIE( No Apples Needed) Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie 36 RITZ Crackers 2 cups water 2 cups sugar 2 teaspoons cream of tartar 2 tablespoons lemon juice Grated rind of one lemon Butter or margarine Cinnamon Roll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate. Fortune's nomination for All-Time Champion and Protector of Youthful Morals goes to Representative Clare E. During an impassioned House debate over a proposed bill to" expand oyster and clam research," a sharp-eared informant transcribed the following exchange between our hero and Rep. The simple fact of the matter is that female oysters through their living habits cast out large amounts of seed and the male oysters cast out large amounts of fertilization. " It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give up because by that time I was too famous. Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes Of hateful soreness, purge mine ears of corn; Less dear than army ants in apple pies Art thou, old prune-face, with thy chestnuts worn, Dropt from thy peeling lips like lousy fruit; Like honeybees upon the perfum'd rose They suck, and like the double-breasted suit Are out of date; therefore, Banana Nose, Go fly a kite, thy welcome's overstayed; And stem the produce of thy waspish wits: Thy logick, like thy locks, is disarrayed; Thy cheer, like thy complexion, is the pits. The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing more important to do. Has your family tried em? POWDERMILK BISCUITS Heavens, they're tasty and expeditious! They're made from whole wheat, to give shy persons the strength to get up and do what needs to be done. POWDERMILK BISCUITS Buy them ready-made in the big blue box with the picture of the biscuit on the front, or in the brown bag with the dark stains that indicate freshness. If only one could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything. The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity-- the rest is overhead for the operating system. CANCER( June 21- July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. Underlying Principle of Socio-Genetics: Superiority is recessive.Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. -- William Shakespeare," Henry VI"=. He thought he saw an albatross That fluttered round the lamp. It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem. Dealing with failure is easy: work hard to improve. " But what we need to know is, do people want nasally-insertable computers?"=. The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it. DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to" fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged. We must remember the First Amendment which protects any shrill jackass no matter how self-seeking." The other creatures laughed and said," Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!" But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks. And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried," See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the Messiah, come to save us all!" And the one carried in the current said," I am no more Messiah than you. And then the whining schoolboy, with his Sun, And shining morning face, creeping like slug Unwillingly to school. Bumper sticker:" All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"=. " I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy: Everybody should believe in something-- I believe I'll have another drink. The Abrams Principle: The shortest distance between two points is off the wall. But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the system, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed, analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses." They both go into the rabbit's dwelling and after a while the rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face. Niklaus Wirth has lamented that, whereas Europeans pronounce his name correctly( Americans invariably mangle it into( Nick-les Worth). The STAR WARS Song Sung to the tune of" Lola", by the Kinks: I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah Where it bubbles all the time like a giant cabinet soda S-O-D-A soda I saw the little runt sitting there on a log I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said Yoda Y-O-D-A Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda Well I've been around but I ain't never seen A guy who looks like a Muppet but he's wrinkled and green Oh my Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand How he can raise me in the air just by raising his hand Oh my Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda=. Every program has two purposes-- written and another for which it wasn't. FROB connotes aimless manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross manipulation, often a coarse search for a proper setting; TWEAK connotes fine-tuning. If someone is turning a knob on an oscilloscope, then if he's carefully adjusting it he is probably tweaking it; if he is just turning it but looking at the screen he is probably twiddling it; but if he's just doing it because turning a knob is fun, he's frobbing it. " You are old, Father William," the young man said," All your papers these days look the same; Those William's would be better unread-- Do these facts never fill you with shame?"" In my youth," Father William replied to his son," I wrote wonderful papers galore; But the great reputation I found that I'd won, Made it pointless to think any more. Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation. Reporter( to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilization? Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.: From Latin" calor", meaning" heat"( as in English" calorie" or Spanish" caliente"); and" fornia" for" sexual intercourse" or" fornication. It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. Fakir, n: A psychologist whose charismatic data have inspired almost religious devotion in his followers, even though the sources seem to have shinnied up a rope and vanished. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs. something Cerebus: If Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy out of it? Jaka: Ugh! Cerebus: You don't like apricot brandy?-- Cerebus# 6," The Secret"=. Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer. It has a 150 MHz processor, 200 megabytes of RAM, 1500 megabytes of disk storage, a screen resolution of 1024 x 1024 pixels, relies entirely on voice recognition for input, fits in your shirt pocket and costs$ 300. What's the first question that the computer community asks?" Is it PC compatible?"=. Gimmie That Old Time Religion We will follow Zarathustra, We will worship like the Druids, Zarathustra like we use to, Dancing naked in the woods, I'm a Zarathustra booster, Drinking strange fermented fluids, And he's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!( chorus)( chorus) In the church of Aphrodite, The priestess wears a see through nightie, She's a mighty righteous sightie, And she's good enough for me!( chorus) CHORUS: Give me that old time religion, Give me that old time religion, Give me that old time religion, Cause it's good enough for me!=. fare hike and the accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service.: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the words" boss" and" botch" were largely synonymous, except that boss, in addition to meaning" a supervisor of workers" also meant" an ornamental stud. Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out. How much does it cost to entice a dope-smoking UNIX system guru to Dayton?-- Brian Boyle, UNIX/ WORLD's First Annual Salary Survey=.0 KPH, and his speed doubles every 3.2 seconds, how long will it be before he exceeds the speed of light? How long will it be before the Galactic Patrol picks up the pieces of his spaceship? 2: If Roger Rowdy wrecks his car every week, and each week he breaks twice as many bones as before, how long will it be before he breaks every bone in his body? How long will it be before they cut off his insurance? Where does he get a new car every week? 3: If Johnson drinks one beer the first hour( slow start), four beers the next hour, nine beers the next, etc., and stacks the cans in a pyramid, how soon will Johnson's pyramid be larger than King Tut's? When will it fall on him? Will he notice?=. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. What in essence it consists of is a horizontal rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports, which we call legs. Bucy's Law: Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man. A famous Lisp Hacker noticed an Undergraduate sitting in front of a Xerox 1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser. Wanting to help, the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network with the mouse, and asked" what do you see?" Very earnestly, the Undergraduate replied" I see a cursor." The Hacker then quickly pressed the boot toggle at the back of the keyboard, while simultaneously hitting the Undergraduate over the head with a thick Interlisp Manual. Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten. -- Robert Pirsig," Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"=. First Law of Procrastination: Procrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility for its termination on someone else( i.e. O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law:" Murphy was an optimist. 43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr fortune: Segmentation violation-- Core dumped=. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca and the Germans have outlawed miracles. Due to a shortage of devoted followers, the production of great leaders has been discontinued. I, through intelligence, Having wrecked my whole life, Only hope the baby will prove Ignorant and stupid. Then he will crown a tranquil life By becoming a Cabinet Minister-- Su Tung-p'o=. " I'd love to go out with you, but I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian. " Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing. " Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly.: A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the entire apparatus offers considerable opposition depending on the angular momentum to any torque that would change the direction of the axis of spin. Tussman's Law: Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. Newell's earned exam average has now dropped to a phenomenal 30%=. Speaking as someone who has delved into the intricacies of PL/ I, I am sure that only Real Men could have written such a machine-hogging, cycle-grabbing, all-encompassing monster. Allocate an array and free the middle third? Sure! Why not? Multiply a character string times a bit string and assign the result to a float decimal? Go ahead! Free a controlled variable procedure parameter and reallocate it before passing it back? Overlay three different types of variable on the same memory location? Anything you say! Write a recursive macro? Well, no, but Real Men use rescan. If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues that now seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding of their world, not in their distorted perceptions. Even the standard example of ancient nonsense-- the debate about angels on pinheads-- makes sense once you realize that theologians were not discussing whether five or eighteen would fit, but whether a pin could house a finite or an infinite number. Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful. Kinkler's First Law: Responsibility always exceeds authority. Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, And throughout our place of residence, Kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the woodburning caloric apparatus, Pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appelations is the honorific title of St. For an idea to be fashionable is ominous, since it must afterwards be always old-fashioned. I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.: Any" idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than$ Watson's Law: The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and significance of any persons watching it. Abusive and obscene language may not be used by contestants when addressing members of the judging panel, or, conversely, by members of the judging panel when addressing contestants( unless struck by a boomerang). " You are old," said the youth," as I mentioned before, And make errors few people could bear; You complain about everyone's English but yours-- Do you really think this is quite fair?"" I make lots of mistakes," Father William declared," But my stature these days is so great That no critic can hurt me-- I've got them all scared, And to stop me it's now far too late. In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in schools will be temporarily canceled. Topics is be covered in future issues include proof by: Intimidation Gesticulation( handwaving)" Try it; it works" Constipation( I was just sitting there and.) Blatant assertion Changing all the 2's to_ n's Mutual consent Lack of a counterexample, and" It stands to reason"=. Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats-- approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. Katz Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted. The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people. However, 31 was the only candidate to receive none at all. Since the composite numbers are formed from primes, their qualities are derived from those primes. So, for instance, the number 6 is" odd but true", while the powers of 2 are all extremely odd numbers. Why do people have so much trouble understanding the kludge? What is a kludge, after all, but not enough Ks, not enough ROMs, not enough RAMs, poor quality interface and too few bytes to go around? Have I explained yet about the bytes?"=. While most peoples opinions change, the conviction of their correctness never does. Williams and Holland's Law: If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods. not enough to support a man and five children if he insists on smoking and drinking beer. Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's Theorem. The seven eyes of Ningauble the Wizard floated back to his hood as he reported to Fafhrd:" I have seen much, yet cannot explain all. The Gray Mouser is exactly twenty-five feet below the deepest cellar in the palace of Gilpkerio Kistomerces. She's been invaded, her walls breached everywhere and desperate fighting is going on in the streets, by a fierce host which out-numbers Lankhamar's inhabitants by fifty to one-- and equipped with all modern weapons. " Somewhere", said Father Vittorini," did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happily sent forth, at our best, with good grace and fine wit, on calm noons, in fair climes, are we not God's Machineries of Joy?"" If Blake said that", said Father Brian," he never lived in Dublin. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.) Don't overuse exclamation marks!! Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing. At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly comparable to herding cats." How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None:" We'll document it in the manual. Beifeld's Principle: The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of:( 1) a date,( 2) his wife,( 3) a better looking and richer male friend. Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d'oeuvres. Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly-- sometimes to each other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing" I Gotta Be Me" around the upright piano, gulping their drinks and wolfing down hors d'oeuvres. Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with inanimate objects, singing" I can't get no satisfaction," gulping down other peoples drinks, wolfing down Christmas tree ornaments and placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright piano to see what happens when the little hammers strike. Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvres smeared all over their naked bodies are performing a ritual dance around the burning Christmas tree. The objective of all dedicated employees should be to thoroughly analyze all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have answers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve these problems when called upon. However, When you are up to your ass in alligators it is difficult to remind yourself your initial objective was to drain the swamp. Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee-- that will do them in. Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less-advanced life-forms, and they'll call you crazy. -- Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul=. Brook's Law: Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. Hurewitz's Memory Principle: The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to. According to probably reliable sources, the Coca-Cola people are experiencing severe marketing anxiety in China. The words" Coca-Cola" translate into Chinese as either( depending on the inflection)" wax-fattened mare" or" bite the wax tadpole". Rhode's Law: When any principle, law, tenet, probability, happening, circumstance, or result can in no way be directly, indirectly, empirically, or circuitously proven, derived, implied, inferred, induced, deducted, estimated, or scientifically guessed, it will always for the purpose of convenience, expediency, political advantage, material gain, or personal comfort, or any combination of the above, or none of the above, be unilaterally and unequivocally assumed, proclaimed, and adhered to as absolute truth to be undeniably, universally, immutably, and infinitely so, until such time as it becomes advantageous to assume otherwise, maybe. At a recent meeting in Snowmass, Colorado, a participant from Los Angeles fainted from hyperoxygenation, and we had to hold his head under the exhaust of a bus until he revived. Numeric stability is probably not all that important when you're guessing. An excellence-oriented 80s male does not wear a regular watch He wears a Rolex watch, because it weighs nearly six pounds and is advertised only in excellence-oriented publications such as Fortune and Rich Protestant Golfer Magazine. The advertisements are written in incomplete sentences, which is how advertising copywriters denote excellence: Please ignore previous fortune. " The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood. -- Webster's Unafraid Dictionary=. Travel important today; Internal Revenue men arrive tomorrow. Preudhomme's Law of Window Cleaning: It's on the other side. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia absurdum est( I believe because it is absurd). This does not altogether accord with historical fact, for he merely said:" And the Son of God died, which is immediately credible because it is absurd." Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it. Jung, in Psychological Types( Teruillian was one of the founders of the Catholic Church). There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. Parkinson's Fourth Law: The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done. When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you, When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig, Though you may be thrown over by Tabby and Rover, You'll never go wrong with a pig, a pig, You'll never go wrong with a pig!-- Thomas Pynchon," Gravity's Rainbow"=. Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation. Chism's Law of Completion: The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it. Duncan of Podunk, Montana, submitted an interesting solution to Problem 5. There is an interesting solution to this problem on page 1029 of my book, which you can pick up for$ 23.95 at finer bookstores and bathroom supply outlets( or 99 cents at the table in front of Papyrus Books).: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered. Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem. This program generates random characters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with something profound., liberals defend military spending, and conservatives social spending in their own districts). Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it. Eggnog is a traditional holiday drink invented by the English. Why, yesterday during the last act, I had everyone glued in their seats!" Oliver Herford:" Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!"=. " The C Programming Language-- A language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language. A musician of more ambition than talent composed an elegy at the death of composer Edward MacDowell. Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live in eucalyptus trees. Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see each other whole against the sky. A recent study has found that concentrating on difficult off-screen objects, such as the faces of loved ones, causes eye strain in computer scientists. Researchers into the phenomenon cite the added concentration needed to" make sense" of such unnatural three dimensional objects. They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening. Please send me EMAIL if you have any comments on or suggestions for these pages or if you just want to say hi.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Direct Hit Web Search:" horse" And" disease" And" strangles". web sites shopping categories Jeeves Answers Advanced Search. Related Searches. CSL: ABOUT CSL: VETERINARY DIVISION: VETERINARY PRODUCTS-HORSES. This site has a continuing array of professional material on every aspect of equine medicine, reproduction, nutrition, farriery, alternative medicine, equine research, animal. Horse Resources Additional Lists Equine Bits And Pieces- Australia Equine Directory- Acme Pet Company Equine Info Equinet Equiweb[ added January 11, 2000] Equiworld.net Horse. Books All Products Explore this book buying info editorial reviews customer reviews See more by. Shop for products related to"" horse" And" disease" And" strangles"". Search the Yellow Pages for"" horse" And" disease" And" strangles"". Ask Jeeves a question about"" horse" And" disease" And" strangles"". Home| About Us| Partners| Affiliate Program| Advertise| Sponsorship Network| Add URL| Help.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Rural Heritage Vet Clinic- Index. The Vet Clinic offers a sampling of the kind of draft horse health care information that arrives in your mail every other month when you Subscribe to RURAL HERITAGE. Determining Your Horse's Health Status. Changes to Expect after Switching to EPSM Diet by Beth A. Diet for EPSM Horses_ Potential Nutritional Deficiencies by Beth A. Feeding Your Senior Horse courtesy of Purina Mills. Medicinal Plants for Livestock by Jennifer Ketzis, Cornell University. Plants Poisonous to Horses courtesy of Cornell University. Plants Poisonous to Livestock and Pets courtesy of Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service. Plants Poisonous to Animals courtesy of University of Illinois Department of Veterinary Medicine. Poisonous Plants courtesy of University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine. Toxic Agents in Plants courtesy of Cornell University.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
The following pages contain valuable vet information. Useful contact info is also listed to guide you to the services you might need for a better horse care:. Dull eyes, tiredness and a generally unhappy appearance all indicate poor health.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Strangles--Diagnosis, Treatment and Prevention. Strangles is an extremely contagious disease of the horse's upper respiratory tract. It is caused by Streptococcus equi, a type of bacteria that is spread from one horse to another by inhalation or ingestion of purulent exudates, either directly( horse-to-horse contact) or through environmental contamination. The spread of strangles infection is rapid and often reaches 100% of the susceptible population. Fortunately, serious illness due to strangles is rare and usually associated with the bacteria spreading beyond the upper respiratory tract. This syndrome is referred to as" bastard strangles." A rarer and more serious complication is purpura hemorrhagica, which is an immune reaction that damages the horse's blood vessels and may be fatal. Infected horses become depressed, lose their appetite, develop a 104-106 F fever and a cough. Bacteria cultured from the abscess material can be identified for a definitive diagnosis. Horses suspected of having strangles should be isolated, kept warm and dry, and encouraged to eat soft, palatable feed( because swallowing is painful). Complete drainage of the abscesses, along with regular flushes of the ruptured lymph nodes until healing occurs, are necessary to resolve the infection. The purulent material from the abscesses is infectious, and contaminated objects, including boots, hands, tack, hay, stall, and soil, should be cleaned and disinfected or discarded. " Bastard strangles" and purpura hemorrhagica are treated on an individual-case basis. Strict quarantine of any new animals on the premises should always be enforced for up to six weeks. Vaccination of all healthy horses should be done routinely on high-risk farms and in endemic herds, or in the face of an outbreak. It must be remembered that clinically recovered horses may shed the bacteria in nasal secretions up to several months after illness. Recovered horses should not be considered free of infection until bacterial cultures are negative. If an outbreak occurs, all exposed or contact animals should be monitored for temperature rises or other signs of illness. Recommended for use in healthy horses as an aid in the prevention of strangles disease due to Streptococcus equi infection. A 1 mL dose should be administered annually and at any time epidemic conditions exist or exposure is imminent.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
AltaVista- Web Results. Search Live! Shopping Raging Bull Free Internet Access Email. Language: any language English Chinese Czech Danish Dutch Estonian Finnish French German Greek Hebrew Hungarian Icelandic Italian Japanese Korean Latvian Lithuanian Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish. URL: www.dpi.qld.gov.au/ dpinotes/ animals/ workanimals/ b94103.html. Ben-Hur( 1959) Memorable Moments from Great Movies! Great Moments and Scenes from Memorable Movies! Great Lines and Quotes from the Movies! Great. Last modified on: 21-Jan-2000- 39K bytes- in English( Win-1252). URL: www.insidetheweb.com/ messageboard/ mbs.cgi/ mb11110. Laryngeal Spray- Spray Laríngeo: equine sports respiratory diseases solution. Laryngeal spray: unique treatment for sports equines in training. It heals respiratory diseases in three days, without interrupting the sporting. Macrothesaurus the premier internet directory for the business executive and the professional researcher. Last modified on: 20-Apr-2000- 6K bytes- in English( Win-1252). word count: strangles: 12022; horse: 6228543; disease: 10010508. Linguistic technology by 2 40 Teragram Corporation. Rewards| Shopping| Money| News| Sports| Travel| Careers. Health| Entertainment| World| Women| Real Estate| Local| Tech| Law. About AltaVista| Help| Contact Us| Advertise With Us| Affiliate Network. Business Solutions| Job Openings| Press Room| Terms of Use| A CMGI Company. AltaVista( R) is a registered trademark and Smart is Beautiful and the AltaVista logo are trademarks of AltaVista Company. Privacy Policy| Support FreeIM.org.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Search for:"+" strangles"". Free Internet Access- Find it- Talk about it- Shop for it. Search within these results. This site has a continuing array of professional material on every aspect of equine medicine, reproduction, nutrition, farriery, alternative medicine, equine research, animal. Livestock Library- Horse Section- Horse Resources Additional Lists Equine Bits And Pieces- Australia Equine Directory- Acme Pet Company Equine Info Equinet Equiweb[ added January 11, 2000] Equiworld.net Horse. This section is a repository for horse health care information, organized by subject. Eastern Eqine Encephalitis- Eastern equine encephalitis is a viral disease that attacks the central nervous system of horses. The Horse Interactive-- Features, May 1997: Strangles- KNOWLEDGE BANK HOME Knowledge Bank: Deadly Diseases THE SCOOP ESSENTIAL HORSE THI HOME May 1997 Strangles By Michael A. Horse health- vaccination against tetanus and strangles( Agfact A6.9.3)- Horse health vaccination against tetanus and strangles Agfact A6.9.3 Electronic edition 1999Revised by Rod Hoare Veterinary Officer Division of Animal Industries Introduction Prevention Tetanus Vacci. DPI Notes- Working Animals- Strangles in the horse- Strangles in the HorseR.E. Nieper, formerly Animal Health Bureau Information contained in this publication is provided as general advice only. Strangles Information Page- The Australian Vaccine Specialist Equivac ® Strangles Information Page Index Cause Signs Epidemiology Immunity Treatment Control Questions& Answers Why vaccinate? Does the vaccine provide 100% protec. Animal health equine strangles- EQUINE Strangles The number of strangles outbreaks in the UK has increased in recent years and particular care must be taken to ensure that animals do not become disease and pass the infection on to o. Horse Disease Surveillance Report- HORSE DISEASE SURVEILLANCE REPORT May 26, 1999 Dr. Bob Wright, Veterinary Scientist, Equine and Alternative Livestock, OMAFRA, Fergus Copyright March, 1999. Horse Disease Surveillance Report- Horse Disease Surveillance Report, Fall 1999 October 1999 Dr. Bob Wright, Veterinary Scientist, Equine and Alternative Livestock Copyright October 1999. AnimalForum.com: Prevention and treatment of strangles- Strangles By Jennifer Kunz, AnimalForum.com staff Strangles is the common term used for the condition caused by the Streptococcus equi bacterium. Strangles- OHAHS Health FAQ Controlling Strangles What is strangles? Strangles is a worldwide disease of horses, ponies and donkeys reported as commonly as any other infection of horses Caused by the bacterium. Equine Diseases: Strangles- Strangles Insidious, infectious, and inconvenient by Claudia True, D.V.M. Second opinion? Try searching for"++" strangles"" at. Topics Shopping Computers Entertainment Finance Games Kids Music Small Business Sports Travel. Find Auctions Chat Clubs Ecards Email Free ISP FTP MP3 Maps People Stocks Yellow Pages More.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Direct Hit Web Search:" horse" And" disease" And" strangles". web sites shopping categories Jeeves Answers Advanced Search. Related Searches. CSL: ABOUT CSL: VETERINARY DIVISION: VETERINARY PRODUCTS-HORSES. This site has a continuing array of professional material on every aspect of equine medicine, reproduction, nutrition, farriery, alternative medicine, equine research, animal. Horse Resources Additional Lists Equine Bits And Pieces- Australia Equine Directory- Acme Pet Company Equine Info Equinet Equiweb[ added January 11, 2000] Equiworld.net Horse. Books All Products Explore this book buying info editorial reviews customer reviews See more by. Shop for products related to"" horse" And" disease" And" strangles"". Search the Yellow Pages for"" horse" And" disease" And" strangles"". Ask Jeeves a question about"" horse" And" disease" And" strangles"". Home| About Us| Partners| Affiliate Program| Advertise| Sponsorship Network| Add URL| Help.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
Spring is here!! That means a blooming of flowers, foals, and horse activities- as well as insects and infectious disease. Use the following guide to determine an appropriate program for his needs/ lifestyle. ( Note: Where" Vaccination Frequency" is marked optional, consult your vet to determine your horse's needs. Eastern/ Western encephalomyelitis:" sleeping sickness"; viral, neurological disease, often fatal. Annual: biannual/ quarterly" booster" if frequent exposure to strange horses. Influenza(" flu") and Rhinopneumonitis( Rhino): highly contagious upper respiratory viral infections. Annual: biannual/ quarterly" booster" if frequent exposure to strange horses. Potomac horse Fever: bacteria causes severe diarrhea, fever, depression, anorexia and laminitis( founder). Strangles: highly contagious bacterial upper respiratory disease, characterized by abscessed lymph nodes. Botulism: bacterial toxin that causes progressive muscle weakness/ eventual paralysis, Shaker foal syndrome. Please consult your local veterinarian, trainer or stable master for the appropriate vaccinations and precautions for your area. This article appeared in Minnesota Trail Riders Association s May 1996 Newsletter.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
CNET Search.com- Results for' 034; horse 034; And 034; disease 034; And 034; strangles 034;'. Search: Fastest sources| All sources. Sort by: Source| Relevance. The International Association of Equine Professionals( IAEP) is an association of professionals involved in working for the betterment of the horse. Check here for coverage of current issues regarding advancements in the world of medicine. Research diseases and conditions and read the latest research on various medical topics. KNOWLEDGE BANK HOME Knowledge Bank: Deadly Diseases THE SCOOP ESSENTIAL HORSE THI HOME May 1997 Strangles By Michael A. Horse health- vaccination against tetanus and strangles( Agfact A6.9.3)[ Lycos]. Horse health vaccination against tetanus and strangles Agfact A6.9.3 Electronic edition 1999Revised by Rod Hoare Veterinary Officer Division of Animal Industries Introduction Prevention Tetanus Vacci. Livestock Library- Horse Section[ Direct Hit]. Horse Resources Additional Lists Equine Bits And Pieces- Australia Equine Directory- Acme Pet Company Equine Info Equinet Equiweb[ added January 11, 2000] Equiworld.net Horse. Saddle up and check out the Equine Legal Guide, horses for sale, classified listings, horse links, message boards and other quarter horse-related features housed in this online stable. Nieper, formerly Animal Health Bureau Information contained in this publication is provided as general advice only. This section is a repository for horse health care information, organized by subject. Eastern equine encephalitis is a viral disease that attacks the central nervous system of horses. The Australian Vaccine Specialist Equivac ® Strangles Information Page Index Cause Signs Epidemiology Immunity Treatment Control Questions& Answers Why vaccinate? Does the vaccine provide 100% protec. EQUINE Strangles The number of strangles outbreaks in the UK has increased in recent years and particular care must be taken to ensure that animals do not become disease and pass the infection on to o. This page from the Canadian Museum of Nature has details about its endangered status. http:// www.nature.ca/ notebooks/ english/ phorse.htm. Choose another channel: Automotive Business& Money Computing Consumer Electronics Discounts& Bargains Downloads Entertainment Gaming Government Hardware Health& Medicine Horoscopes International Job Search Linux Music News& Media People Reference Reviews& Opinion Shopping Software Tech Support The Web Travel Web Development. Downloads 183; Games 183; Hardware Reviews 183; Help& How-Tos 183; Tech News 183; Tech Jobs 183; Web Building 183; Free Newsletters.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
CNET Search.com- Results for' 034; horse 034; And 034; disease 034; And 034; strangles 034;'. Search.com: The Web: Headlines: Results. Sort by: Source| Relevance| Date. CNN- y: The push and pull of medical headlines- March 16, 2000- Estrogen Therapy Lowers Threat of Heart Disease" and" Estrogen Therapy Reduces Chances of Developing Alzheimer's Disease. EDT( 2130 GMT) By Stephanie Bowen Special to CNN.com LOS ANGELES( CNN)-- Much like the country he writes about, there is. CNN.com- Translated text of Third Secret of Fatima- June 26, 2000- The Vatican on Monday released the text of the. Choose another channel: Automotive Business& Money Computing Consumer Electronics Discounts& Bargains Downloads Entertainment Gaming Government Hardware Health& Medicine Horoscopes International Job Search Linux Music News& Media People Reference Reviews& Opinion Shopping Software Tech Support The Web Travel Web Development. Downloads 183; Games 183; Hardware Reviews 183; Help& How-Tos 183; Tech News 183; Tech Jobs 183; Web Building 183; Free Newsletters.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
CNET Search.com- Results for' 034; horse 034; And 034; disease 034; And 034; strangles 034;'. Search.com: The Web: Directories: Results. Search: Fastest sources| All sources. Choose another channel: Automotive Business& Money Computing Consumer Electronics Discounts& Bargains Downloads Entertainment Gaming Government Hardware Health& Medicine Horoscopes International Job Search Linux Music News& Media People Reference Reviews& Opinion Shopping Software Tech Support The Web Travel Web Development. Downloads 183; Games 183; Hardware Reviews 183; Help& How-Tos 183; Tech News 183; Tech Jobs 183; Web Building 183; Free Newsletters.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
CNET Search.com- Results for' 034; horse 034; And 034; disease 034; And 034; strangles 034;'. Search.com: The Web: Latest Prices: Results. CNET Shopper. Choose another channel: Automotive Business& Money Computing Consumer Electronics Discounts& Bargains Downloads Entertainment Gaming Government Hardware Health& Medicine Horoscopes International Job Search Linux Music News& Media People Reference Reviews& Opinion Shopping Software Tech Support The Web Travel Web Development. Downloads 183; Games 183; Hardware Reviews 183; Help& How-Tos 183; Tech News 183; Tech Jobs 183; Web Building 183; Free Newsletters.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
T he article on databases in this issue identifies a challenge to all those with an interest in the horse as we come to terms with the escalating avalanche of information technology. For many individuals an increasing amount of time is spent online so that information previously restricted to a few is now available to everyone with access to a personal computer. Information can be sought from a variety of Web sites on the Internet, provided by professional and commercial organizations, universities and private individuals. The databases identified in the article considerably extend the horizons of those seeking information across the whole range of equine disciplines. Despite this option the traditional avenues, which include scientific journals( particularly those that contain review articles), textbooks, and conferences and their proceedings remain the preferred source of information for enhancing knowledge. Gradually the emphasis will change as publishers concentrate more on developing electronic content and agree on access arrangements on behalf of professional groups and organizations. That the practicing equine veterinarian has the opportunity to obtain up-to-date and accurate information was overwhelmingly emphasized in the study by the USDA ’ s National Animal Health Monitoring System( NAHMS) entitled Equine ’ 98. Owners and operators on 84% of facilities surveyed in 1997 rated veterinarians“ very important” as sources of information for equine health care decisions. While access to information is the first priority, the restraint imposed by the time it takes to search through the plethora of databases is an important consideration for those who spend long and arduous hours engaged in other activities. Once access has been achieved, the next and equally important phase is to evaluate the quality and value of information provided. A recent study of veterinarians in the United Kingdom conducted on behalf of The Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons identified credibility of source, personal experience and discussion with colleagues as the three most important criteria for evaluating information. While databases provide the technology to enhance the scope of available information, the old-fashioned but time tested tenets of experience and peer discussion are still necessary to achieve a correct and“ common sense” interpretation. Libraries have greatly benefitted from the revolution in computer technology but they still maintain the traditional role as a repository of historical information. This is exemplified in the article on rabies in this issue when examination of archives in the University library uncovered an essay written in German at the beginning of the last century describing the death of a woman following a bite on her thumb from a rabid horse. Such information helps to overcome the myth that the horse is not recognized as a potential source of rabies to the human population. Morris Library at the Gluck Equine Research Center, supported by the considerable resources of the Agriculture Information Center and the University of Kentucky W.T. As more individuals go online, so information and knowledge to promote the health and well-being of the horse will become increasingly available, even to the remotest corners of the world. T he International Collating Centre, Newmarket and other sources reported the following disease outbreaks. Over 20 cases of Equine Infectious Anemia( EIA) were reported in Pennsylvania following tests initially conducted at a horse auction during September. Equine influenza was widely reported throughout France among Thoroughbred and non-Thoroughbred animals. In the United Kingdom, several outbreaks were reported during October. Cases of salmonellosis were reported from Queensland, Australia and Ireland. Strangles was also reported from Queensland, Ireland on eight premises, South Africa, Switzerland and the United Kingdom. A number of overseas countries, including the European Union, have rescinded their restrictions on the shipment of horses from certain parts of the northeastern states. B ibliographic databases are those which help the researcher find published information on a given topic. They provide details as to author, title, place and date of publication and often an abstract or summary of the article. For many years, information professionals have relied on these databases to help users find relevant publications appropriate to research, practice and study. Such databases have predominantly been produced by government institutions. In the fields of agricultural and biological research, two standard databases in use have been AGRICOLA and MEDLINE. With the advent of the Internet, what was previously available primarily to people within the field of information services is now being made available to the general public. AGRICOLA( AGRICultural OnLine Access) is the database produced by the National Agricultural Library( NAL) in Maryland. The“ Online Public Access Catalog” covers the actual holdings of NAL, while the“ Journal Article Citation Index” includes coverage of research articles, conference proceedings, experiment station publications, and trade journals in the general field of agricultural sciences. It is this index which may best serve the researcher or practitioner for finding the most current information on a given topic in the areas of veterinary medicine or animal sciences. Both sections of the database offer searching by keyword and by browsing. MEDLINE is the extensive database on biomedical research compiled by the National Library of Medicine( NLM), also based in Maryland. MEDLINE, however, covers the core veterinary research journals as well as providing indexing to articles of interest which may appear in journals not normally associated with veterinary research. Published research on osteoarthritis in horses, for instance, may occur in a variety of journal titles not limited to strictly veterinary topics and therefore can be found in this database but not in AGRICOLA. MEDLINE is available on the Web at http:// igm.nlm.nih.gov( Internet Grateful Med) which provides a graphic user-friendly interface. It is also available through the National Center for Biotechnology Information at http:// www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, by following the link for literature databases and then the link for PubMed. A third database, AGRIS which like AGRICOLA, is focused on the agricultural sciences is available at http:// www.fao.org/ agris/ default32.htm. AGRIS is produced under the umbrella of the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations. This is a cooperatively built database, with member countries providing data for input into the database. As such, it offers access to research conducted in many developing countries which may not be provided in either AGRICOLA or MEDLINE. Each database has a unique construction which requires building a unique retrieval inquiry in order to obtain the most accurate results. However, they also offer simple keyword queries which give the user quick access to citations of interest. The applications of the Human Genome Project are immense, involving identification of disease genes, to therapeutics and preventative health care. The technological and genetic information gathered from the Human Genome Project can be and is being applied to animal genomics. With support from the Dorothy Russell Havemeyer Foundation, scientists from 25 countries met for the first time at Lexington, Kentucky in 1995 to form the International Equine Gene Mapping Workshop( IEGMW). This collaborative effort was undertaken to initiate the development of a horse gene map, a valuable tool for studying inherited traits and diseases in horses and ultimately for developing better diagnostic tools and therapies. The first phase of the IEGMW was to develop the“ backbone” of the map, a basic gene map that could be used to study the inheritance of genetic diseases. This“ backbone” map consisted of 161 markers but has now expanded to 300 markers. “ Comparative genomics” has enabled researchers to use human gene map information to identify potential disease-causing genes or“ candidate genes” in the horse. Three applications of comparative genomics currently benefiting horses are identification of the genetic mutations causing severe combined immunodeficiency, hyperkalemic periodic paralysis, and overo lethal white foal syndrome. Genetic testing for these conditions is currently available to aid breeders. Genetic testing allows breeders to avoid breeding together carriers of the disease trait, thus eliminating their chances of having an affected foal. Scientists are interested in diseases that are likely the result of multiple gene interactions- such developmental bone diseases as wobbles, lordosis or sway-back, and osteochondrosis dessicans. Other areas of interest are respiratory diseases such as chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and“ bleeding” during extreme exertion, muscle diseases like exertional rhabdomyolysis, immune system disorders causing sarcoid tumors and insect bite hypersensitivity, as well as genes influencing fertility and performance. In order to study these potentially multigenic complex diseases, researchers are moving to the next phase of the workshop, renamed the International Equine Genome Workshop( IEGW). This phase will not only increase the density of markers on the horse gene map using new genetic tools gleaned from the Human Genome Project, but also will study the expression and interaction of genes, or simply put, how genes work in a horse environment. It may also provide information on how certain toxins induce devastating illnesses like laminitis or how certain drugs affect fertility or performance. Scientists studying horse genomics share the common goal with horse owners, breeders and veterinarians of improving the quality of life for horses. By continuing with genomics research and working together in the next millenium, we can achieve this goal. F rom data collected by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention( CDC), the total numbers of rabies cases in the United States during 1998 remained consistent with those in previous years. Positive cases were documented in Texas( 12), North Dakota( 11), Iowa( 7), South Dakota( 7), Oklahoma( 7), Pennsylvania( 5), Kentucky( 4), New York( 4), Kansas,( 3), Minnesota( 3), Virginia( 3), and two cases in Florida, Missouri, Montana and Puerto Rico, and single cases in Alabama, Arizona, Connecticut, Deleware, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina and Tennessee. While 82 cases of any equine disease might seem small compared to the approximately 7 million horses in the United States, several factors need to be considered. Any animal infected with rabies can infect people, primarily through bite wounds or exposure to nervous tissue. Evidence exists in scientific literature published in Europe at the beginning of the last century that humans can become infected from the bite of a rabid horse. The disease can be prevented in exposed people( not animals) through an injection of rabies immunoglobulin and five rabies vaccines over 4 weeks, an expensive undertaking. The 82 rabid horses exposed hundreds of people, resulting in thousands of dollars of post-exposure vaccinations. Public health officials determine the fates of animals that have been definitely exposed to the rabid animal, and some animals, especially unvaccinated domestic species, may be euthanized or put under a long-term quarantine. What animals potentially expose horses? In 1998 wild animals identified as rabies positive in the United States were raccoon( 3502), skunk( 2272), bats( 992), and foxes( 435). Currently an epizootic of raccoon rabies which began the late 1970 ’ s following the translocation of infected raccoons from the Southeast is occurring along the Mid-Atlantic states. The first raccoon-rabies-infected animals occurred in northeastern Ohio in 1997, resulting in an intensive oral rabies vaccination program for wildlife in the immediate area. If raccoon rabies becomes established in the Ohio River Valley, there are few geographic barriers to prevent its spread across the midwestern United States, where skunk rabies is already established. Of noteworthy interest is that the largest number of equine cases is not in states with the current epizootic in raccoons. Texas and midwestern states account for the highest numbers of cases, while New York( 30), Pennsylvania( 33) and Virginia( 18) are the only states in the midst of the raccoon rabies epizootic with double-digit cases. Figure 2 illustrates the number of rabies cases in wild and domestic species. What accounts for this difference? The assumption is being made that the equine cases are caused by the rabies variant predominant in each area: skunk in the Midwest, raccoon in the mid-Atlantic states, and fox/ coyote/ skunk in Texas. Although variant testing can be done to determine what wildlife type of rabies caused the disease, this is rarely performed on equine cases, and complete data is not available. However, one horse in Kentucky which was variant tested died from bat rabies and not the predominant skunk variant. Licensed rabies vaccines are available through veterinarians for domestic animal species: horses, cattle, sheep, dogs, cats and ferrets.) Be aware that, although an old disease, rabies remains with us in the twenty-first century. For the standard test of 12 DNA systems most commonly used today, the probability of detecting an incorrect parentage is 99.99%. Efficacy is based upon the variability of the systems tested( reflected in the number of variants at the tested systems and the frequency of the variants). The higher the variability of the systems tested, the greater the ability to detect an incorrect parentage. That means that they are not part of genes that actually have a function, thus they are free to accumulate mutations which are the source of variability. Variation causing mutations are much less common in functional genes and their products because mutations usually result in proteins with diminished function. Another advantage of DNA is that only one laboratory procedure is required for testing, while several different procedures are required for typing the different blood typing systems. Simplification of testing will help to prevent cost increases. The primary reason is related to DNA testing technology. The methods developed in the early 1990s utilize genetic markers called microsatellites. Microsatellites are highly variable and fairly easy to test using an electrophoresis-based technology. An alternative technique is to use a marker type known as a single nucleotide polymorphism( SNP). SNPs are not as informative individually as microsatellites so more must be tested to obtain the same efficacy, but they could be tested using a microchip technology. The microchip technology offers several advantages to the electrophoresis-based technology, but it is not yet available for horse parentage testing while microsatellite techniques are well-established. Those registries that have not changed to DNA testing have choosen to accept the existing technology rather than wait an unspecified time for a new technology. This means that all blood-typed horses involved in a parentage case must be DNA typed, which is a considerable expense for registries that have a major investment in blood typing. In the long term, there should be enough cost saving resulting from DNA testing to offset the cost of re-testing the breeding stock. SNP markers are different from microsatellite markers and if there is a decision to change from microsatellites to SNPs for horse parentage testing, the breeding stock will need to be re-tested again. However the future of equine parentage verification is in DNA and the integration of genomic science into the horse industry. I n 1974 the Kentucky Department of Agriculture implemented a program to determine the occurrence of Equine Infectious Anemia( EIA) among Kentucky ’ s equine population. Testing conducted during the late 1970s and into the 1980s annually identified between 120 and 150 animals as affected with EIA. During the mid-1980s and throughout the 1990s, an increased amount of attention was placed on stopping the spread of EIA among Kentucky ’ s equine population. Surveillance in 1999 identified two positive animals from 98, 000 samples tested. Upon returning to Kentucky it was consigned for sale at an approved market in Kentucky. Subsequent investigation found this animal had also originated outside of Kentucky, and had reportedly been through markets in Alabama and Tennessee during the weeks preceding its arrival in Kentucky. The Kentucky Department of Agriculture requires that an official test be conducted by a laboratory approved by the USDA. Sale and exhibition regulations require equine animals changing ownership to have tested negative during the previous six months. Both the agar gel immunodiffusion( AGID) and the enzyme linked immunosorbent assay( ELISA) are recognized as official tests. On rare occasions, instances of ‘false positives ’ have been reported using the ELISA test. The ELISA tests are not always recognized by some states and are not recognized for exporting animals from the United States. In the event that an ELISA test is used for the interstate movement of an animal, it is important to contact the state of destination to ensure that the test is recognized. To subscribe to the Quarterly, send us your name and postal mailing address.
Abstract: Document Excerpt:
FUNDED BY LLOYD'S OF LONDON UNDERWRITERS AND BROKERS AND THEIR KENTUCKY AGENTS. Equine Influenza. EEE- Not Just an Equine Problem. Further to the notification of Vesicular Stomatitis diagnosed in Arizona on June 6 in a 2-year old Quarter horse, the disease has been confirmed on several premises in New Mexico. In response the Kentucky Department of Agriculture has prohibited the entry of all livestock from New Mexico and Arizona. All equidae entering Kentucky from California, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Oklahoma and Texas must be accompanied by a certificate indicating a negative serological test for vesicular stomatitis virus taken within 30 days prior to arriving in Kentucky. From tornadoes to earthquakes, hurricanes and blizzards, the forces of nature provide challenges for animal owners. Flooding has been the specialty of 1997, with severe problems in Northern California, Kentucky/ Ohio/ Indiana, North and South Dakota/ Minnesota and the bordering Canadian area. Cellular telephones and ham radios were often the only communications available. Now concerns were with building safety, lost and injured animals, contaminated water and feed( sewage, chemicals, fuel oil, dead animals, infectious agents), displaced wildlife including poisonous snakes, and the threat of infectious and vector-borne diseases. Experts in multiple disciplines were consulted for questions regarding:" cleaning" sewage-contaminated soil( agronomy); disinfecting equine facilities( preventive medicine); dealing with ponds and standing water in pastures which were contaminated with sewage and possibly agri-chemicals( civil engineering); and managing wildlife now found in barns( wildlife biologists). People in disaster-affected areas now are acutely aware of the importance of safe drinking water, and pastures free of sewage, garbage and debris. Veterinarians and horse owners in previously unaffected areas would be wise to learn from these challenges of Mother Nature to be prepared for the unexpected. Getting a wider, more farsighted perspective in anticipating and surviving a disaster means being informed and taking action. The AVMA Emergency Preparedness and Response Guide is an excellent resource covering multiple disasters, and the care and handling of animal species ranging from horses to marine mammals. This publication is available for$ 55( call for information on foreign mailing) from the American Veterinary Medical Association, 1931 North Meacham Road, Suite 100, Schaumburg, IL 60173-4360; telephone 1-847-925-8070. The International Collating Center, Newmarket confirmed the following disease outbreaks. Cases of African Horse Sickness were reported in South Africa between October 1996 and March 1997. Contagious Equine Metritis was confirmed in Japan( 1 case) and United Kingdom( 3 cases). There was little evidence of widespread influenza activity with cases diagnosed in France and Sweden. Various clinical manifestations of equine herpesvirus infection were reported from several countries. Coital exanthema caused by EHV-3 was diagnosed in a stallion in Ireland. Hong Kong reported an outbreak of respiratory disease involving approximately 200 Thoroughbred racehorses during February and March attributable to equine herpesviruses( EHV-1 and 4). Cases of EHV-1 abortion were reported from Denmark, Germany, Ireland, Japan, Switzerland, United States and United Kingdom. Multiple cases on premises were reported in Kentucky USA and the United Kingdom. The paralytic form of EHV-1 was diagnosed on two premises in the United Kingdom. Multiple cases of Salmonella abortus equi were confirmed on two premises in Japan. Strangles was reported from 10 countries continuing the trend for it to be the most frequently reported disease. In March 1997 the Expert Surveillance Panel for Equine Influenza assembled a report on the worldwide prevalence of equine influenza activity and characteristics of the causative viruses for the calendar year 1996. The panel concluded that while equine influenza was detected in circulation in several countries, the overall level of activity was low with the exception of Sweden. Thus the panel left unchanged its 1995 recommendation for the strain composition of equine influenza vaccines, i.e. The panel consists of six laboratories in Europe, Asia and the USA, including influenza reference laboratories of the Office International des Epizooties and World Health Organization, chaired by Dr. Eastern equine encephalitis( EEE) virus, a mosquito-borne alphavirus, can cause morbidity and mortality in a variety of vertebrate species. The virus was first isolated in 1933 during a major equine epizootic that occurred along the Eastern seaboard of the United States. This virus has subsequently been isolated from other vertebrate species including humans, dogs, pheasants, quail, ostriches, and emus. EEE virus is typically active each summer and fall in the eastern, southern, and midwestern United States as far west as Texas and as far north as the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. EEE virus is maintained in nature in enzootic cycles involving passerine birds, primarily perching songbirds, and mosquitoes. Epidemics and epizootics occur when mosquito vectors transmit the virus from infected birds to humans, horses, or other susceptible hosts. Horses are generally considered dead-end hosts, incapable of producing sufficient quantities of virus in their bloodstreams to pass the infection to feeding mosquitoes. Equine and other vertebrate species function as sentinels, demonstrating the presence of virus activity and warning that humans may be at risk for infection. Fatalities occur in approximately 30-70% of clinical cases, and the majority of survivors suffer residual neurologic deficits. During the 32-year period 1964-1995, a total of 151 human EEE cases were reported to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, for a national average of nearly 5 cases per year( range, 0-14). The distribution of non-human vertebrate cases reported during 1995-1996 is shown in Figure 1. Thus, the number of non-human vertebrate cases reported is likely to under-represent the true incidence of disease. Surveillance data are most useful in understanding the geographic and temporal distribution of the virus. Because of the severity of clinical EEE infections in humans and some non-human vertebrates and the perennial nature of EEE virus activity, measures to prevent infection should be taken in areas where the virus in enzootic. Although many emu producers routinely vaccinate their birds with equine EEE vaccine, the efficacy of these products in this species has not been demonstrated. There is no evidence that either horses or emus can pass EEE virus directly to humans, but it is wise to wear protective clothing and gloves when working with animals that might be infected. In addition, people should protect themselves from biting insects by applying repellents, wearing protective clothing, and limiting outdoor activities during the evening hours when vector mosquitoes are biting. Several wildlife species in Kentucky have exhibited a continued population increase in recent years. This trend is primarily evident in populations of fur-bearing mammals, or" furbearers," most notably raccoons and coyotes. The Kentucky Department of Fish and Wildlife Resources has collected highway mortality data for selected wildlife since the early 1980s. This information, augmented by trapper harvest surveys and fur purchase reports, provides biologists with insight on wildlife population dynamics. Beginning in 1986, the raccoon highway mortality index reached a record high for nine consecutive years( Figure 2). Despite a slight reduction in 1995, the index still reflected a 386% increase over 1985 figures. Coyote index figures for 1995 reflect an increase of 888% since 1985. The adaptable coyote is a relative newcomer to Kentucky, having expanded its range eastward from the plains and mountains of western North America for the last several decades. A rapid population increase is very common for species that colonize a new area as they spread out to occupy available habitat. Harvest pressure plays an important role in the dynamics of a wildlife population. For instance, the number of active trappers in Kentucky has plummeted from 6, 654 in 1980 to 390 in 1995, a seventeen-fold decrease( Figure 4). This decline is inherently tied to a significant depression in the fur market during that same period. The fur market has rebounded slightly from 1991-1995, but not enough to spur a dramatic increase in trapping. Decreased furbearer harvest pressure has resulted in elevated population levels for many species. Regulated hunting and trapping are effective wildlife management tools that can prevent overpopulation in many wildlife species. Overpopulation can cause a variety of problems for animals and humans, including habitat degradation, property damage, and disease. Furbearers are significant disease vectors that can affect wildlife, domestic animals, and humans. An increase in wildlife density will generally increase the likelihood of disease transmission. Rabies, tularemia, leptospirosis, mange, and distemper are prime examples of diseases carried by furbearers. Recent findings indicate that opossums are involved in the spread of equine protozoal myeloencephalitis( EPM). Although highway mortality surveys do not include opossums, it is likely that opossum populations have grown since the early 1980s based on dramatic declines in trapper harvest totals. These wildlife population trends are certainly no cause for panic, but they do warrant an increased awareness of potential wildlife/ human conflicts and associated strategies for nuisance wildlife control. Wildlife has a variety of ecological, economic, and recreational values, but those values can be positive or negative depending on the situation. The difficulty in managing wildlife populations is in balancing a myriad of values and striving for the prudent utilization of harvestable surpluses while incorporating the desires and tolerances of people. Kentucky Department of Fish and Wildlife Resources. Lung conditions are commonly encountered in horses examined at the Livestock Disease Diagnostic Center and bacterial infection is the most common cause of equine lung disease. Of 4, 255 horses( excluding fetuses) necropsied from January 1993 through December 1996, 448( 10.5%) had lung disease and bacteria were incriminated as the cause of disease in 337. The two broad diagnostic categories, which encompassed most of the horses with lung disease, were pneumonia and pleuritis/ pleuropneumonia. The first category consisted of the various forms of pneumonia including bronchopneumonia, suppurative pneumonia, bacterial pneumonia, aspiration pneumonia, and interstitial pneumonia. Of 255 horses diagnosed with broncho, suppurative, and bacterial pneumonia, bacteria were cultured from the lungs of 170. Two or more bacterial organisms were cultured in 25% of the horses from which bacteria were isolated. The most commonly isolated bacterium was Streptococcus zooepidemicus( 55), followed by Rhodococcus equi( 48), Escherichia coli( 33), Klebsiella pneumoniae( 16), and Pasteurella caballi( 8). In foals less than 1 month of age, the most commonly isolated organisms were Escherichia coli( 25), Streptococcus zooepidemicus( 18), followed by Klebsiella pneumoniae( 10). In foals 1 to 12 months of age, the most commonly isolated organisms were Rhodococcus equi( 44), Streptococcus zooepidemicus( 24), and Escherichia coli( 5). The most commonly isolated bacteria from pneumonia cases in horses over 1 year of age were Streptococcus zooepidemicus( 13), Pasteurella caballi( 4), and Actinobacillus equuli( 4). Twenty-two horses were diagnosed with aspiration pneumonia from which Escherichia coli, Streptococcus zooepidemicus and Rhodococcus equi were the most frequently isolated bacteria. Bacteria were isolated from the lung in only one third of the cases; most commonly isolated were Escherichia coli and Rhodococcus equi followed by Streptococcus zooepidemicus and Actinobacillus equuli. Streptococcus zooepidemicus was the most commonly isolated bacterium, followed by Klebsiella pneumoniae, Staphylococcus aureus, and Escherichia coli. Two thirds of the horses with pleuritis/ pleuropneumonia were over 1 year of age, and in this group Streptococcus zooepidemicus was the most frequent isolate. The data confirm bacteria are an important cause of respiratory disease in horses and incriminate Streptococcus zooepidemicus, Rhodococcus equi, and Escherichia coli as the most important pathogens of the equine lung in this study. During the past two foaling seasons, 18 cases of leptospira-induced abortion have been diagnosed at the Livestock Disease Diagnostic Center. Figure 5 gives the number by month and year of confirmed cases of leptospira-induced abortions for the past nine foaling seasons. The six mares( all Thoroughbreds) diagnosed during the 1996 season were located on six different farms. Leptospira serovar grippotyphosa caused two of the abortions( one in January and one in March), and L. On a seventh farm, leptospirosis was also diagnosed in two Thoroughbred mares that delivered premature foals that survived. The mares were from 12 different farms; however, one of the farms did have a mare that aborted due to leptospirosis during the 1996 season. The central Kentucky area received extremely heavy rainfall during late February 1997 that resulted in the flooding of many of the farms in this area. There was a concern that the incidence of leptospirosis might be significantly higher because of the flooding, but only two cases have been diagnosed since the flooding. The survey responses from the January 1997 issue were most informative and helpful in the future planning of this publication. Suggestions for future topics included musculoskeletal injuries, nutrition, sports medicine, reproduction and therapeutics. To subscribe to the Quarterly, send us your name and postal mailing address. Funded by Lloyd's of London Underwriters and Brokers and their Kentucky Agents. http:// www.uky.edu/ Agriculture/ VetScience/ gluck1.htm. Material published in the Quarterly is not subject to copyright. Permission is therefore granted to reproduce articles although acknowledgment of the source is requested.